Grimace, Diggler, & Milley Baena

“A ballsy performance from Tyler Seguin, a ballsy performance from Dirk Nowitzki, and the balls just didn’t bounce properly for the Raptors.”

What a shitty afternoon! Mid-May and it’s been cold/raining for the last week. Let’s hope this doesn’t continue into the May 2-4 weekend. Nothing a little Tim and Sid: Uncut couldn’t fix however, and boys came firing on all cylinders today. Only a couple of more days now and Tim will be back in the studio, but in the meantime, Sid is helped into his celebrity “O-list” status by the team of Noon, Bronsteter, and the lovely Nadine (P.S. Nadine, after your last visit to the show, I mentioned you in the review and added one of your SportsNaytion videos. Holy shit, the amount of emails I received was off the hook – Do you know her? Do you speak with her? How do I contact her? You have fans Nay Nay). Topics up for discussion this rainy Thursday include: Winnipeg, Tea Bags, Dirk Nowitzki, Heather Cox, Secaucus – New Jersey, Tim Thomas, Charles Barkley, Jay Triano, Soundboards, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Just when you thought the Terminator talk was over, think again listeners. As you know, yesterday we all received the news that Arnold had a love child with one of his maids, causing himself and Maria Shriver to announce that they were getting a divorce. And in true tabloid style, we found out the identity of “said” mistress early this afternoon – Mildred Baena (see photo above), the maid who gave birth to Arnold’s love child. Personally I don’t think she’s much to look at and it appeared that Sid agreed, “I don’t want to throw stones in glass rooms, houses, or whatever you’re living in, but I don’t know about this one. A lot of beers before this one.” Not that I think Shriver is the most beautiful in the world, but I agree that Ol’ Milley is a big step down. And Sid didn’t stop there, “She’s built like a Canadian Right Tackle. If you’re going to risk everything, that’s an interesting choice.” Bronsteter had an interesting point of view regarding Arnold’s mistress, “He proving he’s a man of the people because 99% of men can now say they’ve banged more attractive women.” Hearey, Hearey!!

Boston Bruins/Dirk Nowitzki MishMash
Sid actually didn’t waste much time getting into sports today. The above conversation was maybe 5 minutes maximum; Sid said he wanted to quickly get down to business and discuss the Bruins and Lightning series in the NHL playoffs. “The game in TD Garden last night was amazing. Entertainment from front and back, the way the playoffs should be.” For those that are unaware, game 2 between BOS/TBL was a shoot-out fest, ending with the Bruins evening the series after a 6 – 5 win. According to Sid, there were two stories to this game; one negative and one positive. The first one being that Roloson looked pretty shaky. He’s a great goaltender, but he’s in the age group where he’s getting up there and as of right now, he’s teetering on the ledge of being a problem. “I don’t know how long Dwayne can keep this up. So for his sake, I hope he plays better in game 3.” But the positive story that came out of last night’s game was the exceptional play by Tyler Seguin. Here’s a kid, 19 years old, and has only one playoff game under his belt. He went in there for a total of 13 minutes and scored 4 points. WTF. “God help Tampa if he sees 18 minutes of ice time in game 3 because he’s on point, on point. You got to loosen up the reigns a little bit if you’re Claude Julien.” said Sid. And it’s hard to not disucss Seguin without thinking that he could have been a Leaf #fail.

While that story was developing in Boston last night, Dirk Diggler was writing his own story in Dallas. In game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, Nowitzki brought his best stuff and the German Wunderkind had 48 points, including 24/24 from the charity stripe. Unbelievable. Like Sid said, “Dirk is destroying people. He is annihilating people on the other side of the floor. He is unguardable, unguardable.” But Sid was quick to point out that it was only one game. Let’s keep it in perspective, “The label of being soft is not going away. The only way it leaves is if he does what he couldn’t do in 2006. Close the deal and win an NBA Finals.”

Secaucus, NJ and David Kahn
Sid’s definitely controlling his ability to stay on topic this afternoon – the transitions are like butter. Once he was finished discussing the NBA playoffs, the other NBA story of the night revolved around the draft lottery that took place in New Jersey. If any anyone remembers, on February 24th, Baron Davis was traded to the Cleveland Caviliers for the Clippers first pick. “Did the Clippers think at all about protecting that first pick? They didn’t; they didn’t protect their first pick.” And guess what Clipper fans, the Cavs won the fucking lottery – winning the #1 overall pick. And it was a pretty good night for the city of Cleveland as they received the #1 and #4 pick of the 2011 draft and have something to build on since the departure of LeDouche. Does it soften the blow for James leaving? Not quite, but it does make it better.

The other interesting story that took place during the draft lottery revolved around Dan Gilbert’s son, Nick. Nick Gilbert is battling a form of nerve disease and the kid has a heart of gold. He was selected by the Cavaliers to represent the team when the draft positions were being announced. Call him good luck, or from David Kahn’s point of view, the “draft lottery is rigged.” What a shithead, he’s basically saying that Cleveland won the draft because Nick was up front and that it makes good T.V. Don’t blame the NBA for you losing for the 14th time in the lottery without a #1 pick. Blame your god-awful choices and your decisions that involve the Timberwolves franchise. Sid is pretty sure that the league will have to take a look at Kahn’s accussations.

The Man, the Myth, the Legend, Robert Pizzo Update
Being the softie that he probably is, Pizzo started today’s update by shunning the guys for being rough on Arnold’s mistress, Mildred. He thought everyone was being a little harsh…..but in true fashion, the guys ignored him and Bronsteter began reading out what the twittter world thought about Milley. Aaron threw out a tweet to Tim and Sidizens with the line, “_____________ is hotter than Arnold’s mistress. Some hilarious answers were:
– Kamala
– George Muresan
– B. Arthur
– Popeye Jones
Finally, Pizzo caved and joined the boys by saying “she kind of has a Joker mouth.”

1. Madden NFL 12 has a new feature. In the past, when one of the players would get injured, they’d leave for a quarter or a half. But in the new edition, concussions are introduced and due to their severity, your player will be gone for the entire game.
2. Apparently Lew Alcindor is pissed that his statue is not outside the Staple Centre. “Magic, Hearn, Gretzky, and del a Hoya all have statutes, what don’t I?” The boys get in somewhat of a heated discussion about what determines an athlete getting a statue. The only thing fully agreed upon is that Kareem is an asshole. I’d advise that you check out the article – he is a complete douchebag.
3. Both Wade and James scored under 20 points in game 1 of the Eastern Conferece Finals the other night. Sounds bad, but they always rebound with the best of them. When James scores under 20 points, the Heat are 13 – 1 in the following game. When Wade scores under 20 points, the Heat are 13 – 4 in the following game. Pizzo pretty much guarantees a win in game 2 against the Bulls.

Random Ramblings of a Madman
After the update, Sid focused some more on the NBA draft lottery. The Raptors fell from 3rd spot to 5th – a great present for Colangelo after he resigned with the organization. What players will be available at the #5 spot? The draft isn’t quite filled with superstars and after 1 & 2, there’s a wide array of opinions where guys will fall. Who do the Raptors take? Kemba Walker, Brandon Knight? Sid figures it will be an interesting choice when it comes time for the Raptors to pick. I personally would like to see Knight playing for Toronto.

I could tell at this stage of the show that Hainser’s Corner was not taking place (maybe with a mistress?). So Sid started answering some twitter questions. Some dude wanted to know why the fuck Sid hates tea? “I can’t use a tea bag and not giggle my way through the entire experience.” Another tweet Sid read out was pretty funny. It appears Nadine has struck a cord with the male audience, “@sid_seixeiro Nadine has a sexy voice. That is all.” Fuck Hainser, get Nadine in to do some rapid fire questions (I kid, we all want Hainser).

Just before Rapid Fire, Sid did want to touch on the story about what was happening between True North Sports & Entertainment and the Atlanta Thrashers. Basically, True North requested the help of the Provincial Government (Manitoba) in getting hockey back into Winnipeg. The Preimer said that that was not happening; the government will help with the building and other shit, but when it comes to helping subsidize the debt to purchase the Thrashers? Fuck, No. Sid can’t believe he is hearing this, “The Thrashers are the second cheapest team to buy in the NHL, one spot above Phoenix. When you don’t have enough money to buy shit, that normally means that you shouldn’t buy shit.” Sid’s having less faith in the True North group and the more he reads about them, the more he doesn’t like. I don’t blame him, the last thing Winnipeg needs is to be successful in moving the team, only to have them depart again years down the road due to financial issues.

Rapid Fire
Today’s Rapid Fire included a little Oprah, Arnold, and Ronald McDonald. Brilliant!
– Maria Shriver was out with Oprah for supper when she found out about the love child between Arnold and his mistress. What situation would you least want to find out bad news? I’m getting married in December – I’d have to say the alter.
– People are demanding the removal of Ronald McDonald from it’s products. Whose your favorite McDonaldland Character? Sid chooses Grimace because he doesn’t know what the fuck he does or stands for. I select the Hamburglar because I do know what the fuck he does!

While there were no guests during this show, I thought today’s Tim and Sid: Uncut was “Gold Sidney, Gold!” I liked the NBA talk and the rant against True North Sports & Entertainment. Definitely interesting things to think about. Bronsteter’s Arnold Soundboard continues to get the thumbs up. Overall, I enjoyed how it all went down in the world of sports and edu-tainment. I found the show flew by faster than normal. 9.5/10 


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