Chyna & Sid’s Left Nut

“The Mavs are four wins away from their goal, it was a goal fest in Tampa, plus should TFC give up a goal? on purpose? It’s gonna be one of those.”

Ah, Thursday afternoon….meaning one more day until the weekend. Bonus horns all around for everyone making it through their busy work week. Noon and Bronsteter are behind the glass and Tim and Sid are ready to fire on all cylinders. Another huge thank you to the readers for all your comments, suggestions, and DMs. In surprising news yesterday, I actually got an offer from an organization that liked what I was doing and asked if I would be interested in doing a similar thing for them. However, money does not talk and my interest was not there. I’m keeping my talents focused on the Tim and Sid: Uncut show, even if this is all done on my own. The guys are great and it’s important to stick with what you like; especially with all the positive responses and readers. I’m sure other opportunities will arise in the future. Anyways, after that little rant, Topics for today’s show include: Mariano Rivera, Rain, Mike Brown, Buster Posey, Kim Kardashian’s Ass, Seattle, Kyle Okposo, The Eastern Conference Finals, Bill Daly, and the Tampa Bay Lightning.

NHL Eastern Conference Finals
The talk in the first segment of today’s show involved the match-up between the Bruins and Lightning and the fact that Tampa Bay were able to stave off elimination again. Backed by Roloson, who’s 7 – 0 in elimination games, the Lightning pulled off a gutsy 5 – 4 win in game six. Sid figures there’s two heroes right now in sunny Florida – Wade and Roloson.

Discussion then flowed to the fact that there’s a Canadian team (VAN) in the NHL finals. Tim wonders about the idea that if your team is no longer in the playoffs, are you supposed to cheer for the Canadian team? According to Sid, “I haven’t cheered for a Canadian hockey team in 15 years. When you work at the Score television, you don’t become a fan anymore. You are an observer, I cheer for the stories, not the team.” The reason the story came up is because during 24 and 30, Micallef’s other show, he made the comment that he cheers for the team that he believes would appreciate it the most. And from his view, the Canucks are the team that would appreciate it the most, followed by Boston, Tampa, and San Jose. “I don’t care who wins the cup, just make it a good story.”, Sid. Tim believes it would also be cool if the Bruins won as well – the last time they hoisted the cup was in 1974; it’s been awhile for that team. Sid believes the Bruins will pull out a win at home, but Tim figures they better be careful. In game six, it looked like the big three of Tampa woke up and you have to watch out for those guys. Sid can see where he’s coming from and believes that if Claude Julien doesn’t have his guys ready, “I’m blaming Johnny  McChins.” Tim then threw out a funny quote at Sid’s line – “He has more chins than Chinatown.”

Seattle? Really, Seattle?
There were some rumours today in regards to the Atlanta Thrashers and the possibility that Seattle could be a destination. Apparently, Bill Daly said today in the news that he spoke with some parties in Seattle who were interested in bringing hockey to the West Coast. Tim is full aware that the market in Seattle is better than Atlanta and Phoenix (they have a history of supporting teams), but is it going to happen?“Please, I don’t think it’s going to happen. However, it will be a good rivalry if it was ever to happen (vs. Vancouver).”

Around this time, the guys starting shitting on Bronsteter for his tweet earlier in the day. Orville tweeted that he made some amazing sweet tea while at home and when a tweeter asked Orville how to make it, he proceeded to write down the directions/recipe. Sid, “Two things, first, it’s kind of ridiculous, and two, what goes in this tea? What do you put in it? Tea is fucking disgusting. Tea is one of the biggest scams in it’s history. Tea’s bullshit!”

Discussion flowed into comedy roasts and Jeff Ross. Some of the more classics include:

Or the ever awkward Jaime Foxx and Doug Williams roast….AMAZING STUFF!

TFC and the Rain
Once the hilarity of roasts and shitty comics was over, Tim and Sid dove into what transpired the night before at a TFC match. If you live in Toronto, you’re fully aware of the rain that fell the other night. At the time, TFC were trailing the Whitecaps 1 – 0, but due how bad the rain was and the flooded pitch, the match was called. When this happens in certain leagues, a called match will then start over at 0 – 0 and replay the entire 90 minutes at a later date. The question brought forth by Tim was should TFC give up a goal because it was called at 1 – 0? When both teams meet again. In the past, the 2007 Carling Cup to be exact, a similar issue to TFCs, arose when a match between Forest and Leicester was suspended because Clive Clarke collapsed on the field. When play resumed at a later date, Leicester allowed Forest to score a goal to begin the match at 1 – 0, rather than start from scratch; the ultimate example of sportsmanship. Sid believes that both matches are completely different and gives credit to Leicester for what they did, but in the case of TFC, the match was called due to weather – completely different than a heart attack. Either way you look at it though, both guys believe this “start from scratch” is a ridiculous rule.

Interesting Facts From Rob Pizzo’s Update
1. A stupid woman from California is suing Chucky Cheese. She believes the franchise and their ads are setting kids up to become compulsive gamblers…Bitch please.

2. Past WWE star, Chyna, is going back to work by making another porno film. She approached Vivid and they’ve sealed a deal that would see stars Evan and Lee Stone show her the real definition of “air tight”. The title of the film is called “Backdoor into Chyna”. Pizzo threw out his own Cut or Uncut about watching such a film. My first thought is CUT because she is actually a man, but Pizzo said he would watch it out of interst. However, he wouldn’t beat off to it. According to Sid, there are some guys in the Score’s building that love the muscle women – are these the guys that like to get pegged?

Dirk Daggers Again!
Once Pizzo finished discussing how and when he jerks off, the boys got into discussion about the Western Conference finals in the NBA. As we all know, the Mavericks finished off the Thunder the other night in fine fashion. Scott Brooks went small in the beginning and it actually worked for awhile, but in the last few minutes, they just collapsed again. There’s some thought out there that Westbrook is the reasoning behind the loss and people want to see him gone – even if he is only 22 years old. Sid had a good quote here, “There’s teams out there where people want Russell out, but there’s some people that are just fine with Calderon and Jack.” (LOL).  There’ll always be the question whether or not the Thunder lost the series or whether the Mavs won the series, but either way you look at, Durant should have had the ball more often. At least the OKC’s fans are supportive – there was a huge welcoming for them when they arrived back home.

Prior to Rapid Fire, there was some discussion on the film My Left Foot. There’s a story that Sid had originally thought the film was about a guy who beat the shit of everybody with his left foot and it wasn’t until the boys sent him the trailer for the film that he realized what it was actually about; a dude with cerebral palsy – classic Sid. There was some reflection here for Nooner as he remembered how his brother would always do an impression of Christy and get him laughing all the time.

Rapid Fire
Good Rapid Fire by Orville! He’s CUT or UNCUT’s have definitely gotten better lately and usually involve a wide range of topics.
– Using the word toque. CUT or UNCUT? Sid refuses to answer the question. I think it’s fine to use the word. It’s in the fucking dictionary.
– Hoisting the Conference Champion trophy. CUT or UNCUT? It’s Cut guys. You play for the championship.
– Honking at an attractive woman while you’re driving. CUT or UNCUT? Cut. If you’re trying to get a chick, this won’t work. But if it does, she’s either a whore or a hooker. Sid says he doesn’t honk, he just shows them his balls.
– Creating yourself as a video game character. CUT or UNCUT? Uncut – magically I’m featured in XBOX’s UFC and NBA2K11 games. Gotta dream.
– Men shaving their armpits. CUT or UNCUT? Hmmm, tough one…there’s a lot of factors here. Length, smell, etc.
– Giving someone something you got for free as a gift. CUT or UNCUT? Uncut, I’ve done this a few times. Wine, DVD’s, etc. If someone else can make better use of it than me, I usually pass it off.

Great show by everyone today. Lots of edu-tainment thrown out there. If there’s one thing you do get out of this radio show, it’s street smarts. At times I think it’s geared towards savants like Hainser in an attempt to them get through the day. Hainser’s Corner was epic, Orville brought a strong Rapid Fire, and Pizzo had a great update. Loved today’s episode 9.5/10.

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