Hainser’s Corner Episode #7
There’s no better way to celebrate game 7 of the NHL Stanley Cup finals than to have an edition of Hainser’s Corner for all the Tim and Sidizens. Before Tim got into Hainser’s rapid fire questions, he asked the savant if he had any rituals before watching the big game? According to Hainser, he likes to have everything ready before the game: pops in the fridge, laptop beside him, some good food and he’s ready to go. Tim asks Hainser if “by pops, you mean beer. You’re just trying to be cool.”
We also learn some interesting things during this sections which include:
– Hainser likes to drink imports out of the bottle. He’s a beer snob.
– Tim can’t drink draft because it gives him bad guts and the runs.
– Chili is a Christmas Holiday for Team Canada games.
– Hainser hates Bud Light Lime almost as much as Frank D’Angelo.
1. Stanley Cup? “The greatest treasure in all of sports.”
2. Game 7? “It’s all on the line. All the marbles are up for grabs.”
3. Do or Die? “That’s, that’s what game 7’s are. You summed it up right there in three distinct little words.”
4. Vancouver? “God, I hope they win because if they don’t, that, that stadium’s gonna get torn down by a bunch of uh, ah, rowdy peeps. Uh, it’s gonna be interesting regardless.” (Tim: A bunch of …sorry?) “Rowdy people.”
5. Roberto Luongo? “Not a fan. You’re not one of the elite goalies in the league. Um, the team might win in spite of you and uh, worst hair in hockey.” (Tim: How many goals has he let up at home?) “Not too many, but…” (Tim: 3 wins.) “Uh, How many road games has he won since the Nashville series? 2.” (Tim: I would suggest…uh, I told myself I wasn’t going to get caught up in this.) “No, no, please continue.” (Tim: The Sedins have done shit, Kesler’s done shit; the reason why they have three games is Roberto Luongo you Jackass.) “Okay, but he can’t play every game in the Rogers Centre. This isn’t ah…” (Tim: But why would anyone want to play in the Rogers Centre? That’s a dome in Toronto.)
6. Green Men? “The Green Men, solid guys. They’re actually bunkered down today guys in a, and preparing for what they call will be their Tour de Force moments of the past season. Uh, expect something very big from them tonight.”
7. Flashser? “Where are you?”
8. B.C ‘s Best? “What? Weed?”
9. Orland Kurtenbach? “That’s a fantastic name. A great Canuck.”
10. Harold Schneps? “That moustache, are you kiddin’ me? That guy could play some mean D.”
10. Gastown? “Gastown. Gastown is the only thing separating you from the skids in Vancouver.” (I had to guess what he said here.)
11. The Grouse Grind? “I’ve tried the Grouse Grind before. You will never see me weeze so hard brother.” (Tim: What!!! Come on!)
12. Water Taxi? “Uh, that’s such a rip off, that Water Taxi. Jesus, I got caught in that once.”
13. Ferry? The ferry’s not much better. The ferry is the damn Sea Bus they have there.” (Tim: I should have used the word Ferry before the word Water Taxi. Damn it.)
14. Winner? “Winner….I say Charlie Sheen.”
15. Game Winning Goal? “Game winning goal tonight will be scored by Mr. Christopher Higgins.”
16. Hainser? “That’s me brother.” (Tim: that’s the best finish better.)
Another great bit of information Tim and Sidizens found out on this episode of Hainser’s Corner – Hainser loves his Tuborg and Kebabs (Chicken, Beef, and Lamb).