“Ryan Smyth goes back to Edmonton.
Kevin Bieksa isn’t going anywhere.
Plus, the Williams Sisters aren’t going to the next round.”
God I hate Mondays! Hello Tim and Sidizens; welcome to another episode of Tim and Sid: Uncut. The only bonus of this week is that it’s shortened due to Canada Day coming up on Friday. We have a stacked show this afternoon and the “Starting Five” are all accounted for. Sid’s back from assignment, Tim’s in the building, and both Noon and Bronsteter are working their magic behind the glass. Topics for your edu-tainment this afternoon include: The Dodgers, Brian Campbell, Nate Marquardt, Terrell Owens, David West, River Plate, the NHL Draft, Ricky Romero, the T-Wolves, and Sade.
Right after the topics for the day are introduced, you can hear Uncle Timmy sighing and breathing big time! When Sid threw to the intro. theme to Famous, Tim realized he forgot some shit on his desk and ran to his office to get them before the theme song was over. Those high school football days are way behind us 😉 Tim compares it to Star Jones’ breathing and how disgusting it is and just like that, Bronsteter finds an absolute gem.
Gold! Sid eventually get fed up though, “Stop it! Stop it! She’s unattractive.” to which Micallef replies, “Even when she’s skinny, she’s unattractive.”
Ryan Harris & The Sade Tickets
The boys had a quick CUT or UNCUT to throw out before they got into any sports. Apparently earlier in the day, Ryan Harris, who I believe is a camera operator at the Score, emailed the office saying that he had 1 Sade ticket available and even though the face value is $75, he would reluctantly sell it for $60. CUT or UNCUT? It’s completely Cut!!!!! It’s a single ticket. Who goes to a concert with a single ticket? Is Harris going by himself now? In saying that though, Sade is an amazing vocalist and if you’re a dude, it’s one of the best concerts to go to if you want to pick up women.The guys then reminisce about Sade and one of her hit songs – Smooth Operator.
“I don’t know how many times I danced in an unfinished basement to this song.”, said Sid. “Right after you were bangin’ on the furnance.”, replied Tim. “Tsk, bangin’ on something.” “Yeah, your wrist!”, said Timmy. Seixeiro followed with another quote which should be written down, “The dance would end quickly when I had a massive boner.” But back to the CUT or UNCUT question, it’s agreed by all that it’s complete Cut.
Kevin Bieksa and Ryan Smyth
Tim and Sid finally get into some hockey talk. Reports out of Vancouver today is that the Canucks have signed defenseman Kevin Bieksa to a 5-year, $23 million extension. Could you blame them? He was one of their best players in the postseason this year. Sid goes on to explain that as of right now, Bieksa is also the highest paid player on the team. It’s definitely strange seeing as the team was shopping Bieksa earlier in the year around the trade deadline. It goes to show how quickly things can change in the world of sports.
In other NHL movement, after an emotional breakup, the Edmonton Oilers have reunited with Ryan Smyth. The boy with the mullet got his wish after all. Both guys agree that the Edmonton fans will be excited to see him back – he was the heart of the team for quite some time. However, they are quick to point out that fans should be realistic; Smyth is aging and they shouldn’t expect a lot. He’ll play hard, but he’ll most likely shine as a good mentor, provide character in the locker room, and show the young guys what hard work is. It’s definitely an exciting time for Edmonton – after all the early draft picks over the last couple of years, they’re going to break through soon.
Pizzo Is the Second Most Hated Man In Winnipeg (Besides Bettman)
I’m kidding of course, but we are once again discussing Micallef’s and Pizzo’s opposing views on True North’s decision to bring back the Jets name. Sid was absent for a couple of days last week and on Friday, while going through some email, he noticed a lot of nasty shit directed towards Pizzo and Seixeiro wanted to get to the bottom of it. If you remember from last week, Micallef is glad that ownership brought back the name “Jets” and gave what the people wanted. Pizzo however, believes that the Jets are still in Phoenix and this decision by True North was based on pressure from the fans in Winnipeg. Pizzo just can’t see how you can have two sets of records, stats, and history, “Would you put Dale Hawerchuk’s jersey in the rafters?” Sid said he would, but Bronsteter points out that that’s hard to do as his numbers are technically retired in Phoenix. “Listen, Dale Hawerchuk’s number need to hang from the rafters (Winnipeg). People in Winnipeg never stopped supporting these guys.”, said Micallef.
Sid finds it kind of surprising that Mark Chipman even went with the name Jets in the first place because he seemed to wanting to go the Manitoba __________ route. Again, Pizzo points out that this all happened because ownership was pressured by the fans of Winnipeg. “I think it’s pretty obvious that Pizzo hates Canada.”, said Seixeiro. In which a Tim and Sidizen called in and said that Pizzo needed to hang from the Winnipeg rafters. Horns!
BET Awards and Marcy D’Arcy
The guys then begin to bring up the BET Awards that took place Sunday night. According to Sid, the only reason he knew they were on was because the Score’s Sheldon Alexander and DJ Bennett were “just ripping the shit out of people on twitter.” A couple of interesting areas in this discussion was the host Kevin Hart and the fact that Justin Bieber looks like Mary D’Arcy from the hit show, Married With Children. Both seemed to agree that Hart did a great job and that he’s a funny dude. They bring up this scene stealer in 40-year old Virgin.
And in his 4th appearance at the BET Awards, Bieber looked just like the lesbian that any mom would be proud of. Sid’s not convinced he looks like Marcy at first, so I sent in a photo of the two, and Sid seems to jump on board. Tim also wonders if we should start giving this guy credit now and whether or not he can be the next Justin Timberlake. The next couple of years should be interesting.
Women’s World Cup: Canada vs. Germany
“From lesbians to the World Cup” – the boys are great with their transitions. Tim and Sid begin to discuss the opener for Canada in the World Cup against Germany. Sid was blown away by how great it was, “I’d watch that game over a TFC game any day.”
* Weird interruptions by Sid. We find out that he watched Valkyrie on Sunday and that Marcy D’Arcy became a huge whore on Married With Children.
Anyways, back to the soccer. Everyone in the booth found the soccer in the game both exciting, it had plenty of chances, and there was little diving. Better than any MLS game watched by them in awhile. Two players in particular that were mentioned were Christine Sinclair (above) and Diana Matheson. First, Sinclair is a tough broad – not only did she break her nose during the game, but she then fought with team doctors to let her back on. Then this happened:
The boys also point out how great a game that Diana Matheson had. While she didn’t score, she did have some chances and the person most impressed with her play was Noon, “What a ball handler.”
Interesting Facts From Winnipeg Jets Hater, Rob Pizzo
(I’m going to milk this 🙂 )
1. This weekend in Women’s tennis at Wimbledon, Marion Bartoli was so mad at losing her first set, she gestured at her parents to leave; she had them removed. It’s important to note that Bartoli’s father is also her coach.
2. Also in Women’s tennis, during the tournament, Jelena Jankovic changed her underwear during a match. Pizzo found this kind of hot – sweaty panties don’t do it for me though. This is not the first time Jelena did this though, she has done it several times in past tournaments.
3. The Chicago Wolves officially announced its affiliation with the Vancouver Canucks. Weird as the Canucks and Blackhawks are one of the biggest rilvaries in hockey right now.
Tim and Sid: Uncut Attempt Shout-Outs
1. Happy Birthday to Lucas Martin
2…………the guys can’t fnd the email. Bronsteter is gone searching for it.
To kill sometime, Tim goes through a list of topics on the agenda and let Sid decide what he wants to talk about. They include:
– The L.A. Dodgers.
– The Jays are playing better.
– David West opted out of his contract.
– Chris Paul is leaving the Hornets.
– Minnesota Timberwolves draft a player that is ineligable.
– Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens.
– UFC Stuff.
Instead Sid and Tim begin to discuss how great David Chapelle was and how much they missed the guy. They still can’t get over the fact that he left the comedy scene but it seems the negativity from people like Oprah and Bill Cosby was just too much to take. Maybe he’s hitting the gym? Check out the guy’s ripped arms below.
And speaking of Oprah, it seems that she’s having her own issues with her new network OWN – I bet DJ is upset. Anyways, there’s rumours that they are trying to get OJ Simpson to confess to the murders he was accused of doing in 1994. If they could snag such an interview, ratings would jump through the roof for the network. “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Just run it on a loop.”, replied Sid. If this was to actually happen, the boys feel this could be one of the most amazing interviews ever. Easily up there in the top 2 all-time. “It would be a mind fuck. I hope Oprah gets it, I hope Oprah finds the killer.”, said Sid.
An interesting point was brought up by a Tim and Sidizen in regards to OJ and the possibility that the murders/rage/anger could be attributed to the concussions he received in the NFL. It’s a defence that some athletes have used today, where as in ’94, this kind of information wasn’t available. Tim suggests reading the article by Malcolm Gladwell about flashes of anger experienced by football player that were possibly caused by concussions. The full article can be read here.
Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens
Some news about the two wide receivers that do everything but play football. Ochocinco wants to try wrestling alligators and Owens just recently got injured during filming of a reality t.v. show. What a shit show! The boys go on to discuss whether or not Owens will get a Hall of Fame jacket and both agree that he probably will; you can’t argue with the numbers he’s put up. Owens is currently second all-time in receiving yards.
Dana White, Nate Marquardt, and TOUT
The big discussion here was the recent firing of Nate Marquardt by Dana White on TOUT just hours before his fight on the weekend. Bizarre shit! Marquardt was not cleared by the commission and was immediately fired by the UFC. Something’s going on and hopefully we find out on Tuesday. Nate’s doing an interview with Tim and Sid: Uncut Alumus Ariel Helwani. Sid said he was going to see if they can get Ariel on the show later in the week.
Great Rapid Fire by Bronsteter! He managed to choose and ask some great questions today.
– Michael Vick won Subway’s Sportsman of the Year Award at the BET Awards over LeBron James, Derrick Rose, Carmelo Anthony, and Kobe Bryant. Who would you have voted for? I’m going to say Vick. I’m an Eagles fan and I’m proud of what he accomplished this year. He gave me hope again.
– A Mavericks fan recently got a tattoo of Dirk Nowitzki on his ass after saying he’d get the tattoo if they won the NBA Championship. Would you gain or lose respect for your friend if he did that? Hey, the guy stuck to his word. No one is going to see it, it’s hidden….I’m alright with it.
– Ryan Smyth won the battle to move back to Edmonton. If Sports Broacasters could be traded and relocated, what city in the world would you like to be traded too? I’m not a broadcaster so I have no comment. Sid chooses Toronto while Tim suggests Malta.
* And a huge SHOUT-OUT to Tim and Sidizen KPWhatsCrackin for sending in a Mary Brown’s printable coupon to Sid Seixeiro. Follow our dude on twitter.
Great show today Sid, Tim, Noon, Pizzo, and Aaron. It was random as fuck, but still good. The Sade and Winnipeg Jets debate were good stuff and I have a feeling that Pizzo will never live this down. Discussion about the BET Awards was okay, but I think it turned into more of a Justin Bieber debate. So much more went on that they didn’t discuss (i.e. presenter calling out Brown’s name as a winner instead of Rhianna). Update with Pizzo was good and I was glad to hear the guys touch on the Women’s World Cup Soccer. They deserved some recognition. The last segment seemed to drag out because I don’t know whether the guys had a set plan on what to talk about – the Shout outs seemd to fail as there was only 1, but it was saved by the discussion on OJ and the UFC. Rapid Fire wrapped up the show nicely. I’d like to hear more of Noon – is he doing work now? 😉 9/10.