Sir Charles’ Hippo Dying Swing, Dean Blundell’s Thoughts on Fried Asparagus, & John Legend

“The NBA Players get locked out.
Dean Blundell and Toddy Tickles drop in.
And Ecuadorian Hookers.
I don’t care if it doesn’t rhyme; I think it works.
(Whisper Ecuadorian Hookers)”

It’s Thursday Tim and Sidizens and the weekend has arrived. Tomorrow is Canada Day and most of the country has the day off. Tim’s a little tired from the live remote, Sid is still kind of jacked, Bronsteter is ready with the horns, and “On his last day before going on vacation”, John Noon. An interesting show planned today – some of the topics that may or may not be addressed include: Women’s Soccer, Paul Kariya, the CFL, Greg Oden, Dean Blundell, Whores, Ochocinco, Charlie Sheen, Gordie Howe, and Eagles Nest Golf Club.

Four Blue Jays and an MC
First order of business today was the discussion of last night’s live remote broadcast from the 2nd Annual Joe Carter’s Golf Tournament at Eagles Nest Golf Club. The boys had an amazing time and thoroughly loved being around all the stars, “It was basically the ’92-’93 Jays reunion on the radio show.”, said Sid. While excitement was at an all-time high, both Tim and Sid did sound a little tired though. While Micallef enjoyed the scenic route while driving back home after the show, he was completely spent by the time he hit the sack. Seixeiro, on the other hand, stayed later into the night because he was asked to be the MC for the evening. From what I could gather, Tim could have stayed there too, but joked that he bailed because “Up until this point, neither one of us have hosted in front of a room like that and I was too intimidated with the group.” The boy left, it was too much for him to handle (however, it was later revealed that Tim had prior engagements). Seixeiro shared Tim’s sentiments by saying that, “I am never in my life going to stand in a room with that much pull.”

Seixeiro went on to discuss what went on after Tim left. He had a good time working the crowd as the MC during the dinner. He was sitting at table #1 with the MLSE Board, Todd from the Edge, and Joe Carter. He was not only in charge of Carter, but he was also responsible for working the room. While some of his jokes worked and some didn’t, it seemed like everyone had a good time. He also discusses how he tried to keep it short because he knew that a lot of the athletes that attend these kind of things don’t like to stay too long. His mandate, along with some of the TD crew is that, “Dinner at a celebrity golf tournament can’t be long anymore. People want to get the fuck out.” But in this situation, there were many people that paid big money to play with the athletes and they’re trying to soak up every minute possible. Hence the reason that Carter only picks the athletes that are fan friendly. Noon goes on to ask Sid what jokes worked and what jokes didn’t; according to Sid, the Yo Momma jokes didn’t work at all. Highlight of the night though was in regards to Gordie Howe. During one of his speeches, Joe Carter forgot to mention Howe. James from TD advised Sid that he should mention the hockey great when he got up there next. Sid went on to tell the crowd about how Howe approached himself and Tim at the radio booth and shook hands with them. With that, Gordie got a huge standing ovation from the crowd, “Everyone in that room stopped what they were doing and gave that guy respect. It was cool.” Seixeiro did call it an early night however because “it turned into a douche fest. Near the end, most people left weren’t involved with the tournament. It became an MTV Canada party.”

John Legend & Cut or Uncut
During last night’s festivities, it was also brought to our attention that John Legend was one of the evening’s entertainment. Anyways, Sid noticed during the night that there were a lot of guys that were lining up in hopes of getting a photo with the singer. Sid said that he can understand women doing such a thing, but men? Cut or Uncut. Lining up to get a photo with John Legend?  Noon agrees with Sid that it’s cut, “I like a lot of dudes but I’m not waiting in line to meet them.” But both Micallef and Bronsteter disagree and think it’s uncut. They believe that if you’re a real fan of Legend, there should be no problem waiting in line.

Speaking of line-ups, Sid mentions that while people were lining up to get photos with athletes, no one was lining up at the booze counter. Seixeiro said he “posted” himself there for a bit, “Stella Artois fuck. I was in.”

Charles Barkley and the Hippo-Like Swing
Discussion then flows into how great it was to see Charles Barkley at the event and the fact that Barkley’s section throughout the entire night was insane. According to the guys, he was not left alone at dinner, on the golf course, at the auction, or anywhere else he went. They give him big kudos for being able to put up with all that attention. Micallef then transitions into a funny story about Barkley and how he went to the driving range after his round of golf. After the Tim and Sid: Uncut radio show yesterday, Tim stayed around a little bit longer just in case Barkley stopped by. Seixeiro had already left, Tim was tired and his head was spinning from all the previous interviews. Eventually, someone went up to Tim and told him not to worry about Sir Charles because he was still on the golf course at the range with a bucket of balls and a teacher. They both laugh because if you’re familiar with Charles’ golf game, you know he has a horrible swing. “It’s like a hippo dying.”, said Seixeiro.


Other highlights discussed briefly by the guys include:
– Sid ran into Ozzie Smith, greatest defensive player in baseball history
– Paul Jones was there
– Dean Blundell waited around to be on the show for approximately 15 minutes
– Jerome Bettis said that 5-pin bowling was completely foss. Noon had a great response though, “Like I care what a bad athlete thinks about bowling. What has that guy done for his sport?” (sarcasm). 
– Jerome Bettis went through hell just to get to Toronto. They had to fly his passport from Atlanta to L.A. just so he could get here. 

Canada’s World Cup Soccer

There was only a couple of minutes left before Pizzo’s Update, so Tim and Sid quickly transitioned into the Women’s World Cup. Sorry soccer fans, the bandwagon is over, it’s done. The Women’s Canadian Soccer team lost to France this morning and are no longer in the tournament. “This, as we sit here today, when looking at both the Mens’ and Womens’ program; this is the darkest fucking period for Canada’s Soccer program. This folks, is the fucking bottom of the barrel.” The boys can understand the loss on Sunday to the powerful Germans, but in today’s game, the ladies were destroyed 4-0 by a pretty crappy team from France and will head home empty.

Interesting Facts And Updates From Jets Hater, Rob Pizzo
Before Pizzo starts the updates, he does commend Sid on how he says the word “whores“. You really need to hear the audio to know what I’m talking about – there’s a lisp of sorts in there. He then goes into a funny story about Puck Daddy Radio and their Question of the Day that they ask on twitter, “What is delaying the Jagr signing? The more creative the better.” It appears that a Tim and Sidizen wrote in and said, “Rick Majerus ate him because he thought he’s mullet looked like Fried Wavy Bacon.” “That’s offside. I don’t like making fun of those a little less fortunate than me.”, replied Sid. Seixeiro later recanted and said, “He can buy and sell me, but what he can’t do is look at his nuts.”
1. Dwight Howard has taken to twitter to make fun of LeBron’s receding hairline.

2. The BBC has designed a new gadget that has the ability to turn down the grunts from women’s tennis. “I watched Sharapova today and I needed a bathroom break.”, said Sid. Noon then threw out a pretty funny zinger, “Pizzo, you’re telling me they can do this but they can’t fix their teeth?”
3. Doc Gooden is on Celebrity Rehab. During the show, his roommate was Jeremy Jackson from Baywatch fame. Jackson was on the Howard Stern recently and told Stern that Gooden “poops a lot that guy. I had to share a room with him. It was a very stinky room.” 

Once Pizzo finishes out his update, the guys quickly mention how great it was to have Dave Stewart on the show yesterday. They discuss the fact that Sid attempted to get Stewart to give him a stare down, but refused. However, he inadvertently did it anyways. They also mention Gordie Howe again and how great of a guy he was and the fact that Devon White looked the biggest guy in the room – he was jacked, working 230 LBS. of muscle.

Dean Blundell and Deep Fried Asparagus
After the Tim and Sid: Uncut show yesterday, the guys continued to interview people as they came in. One of the men that sat down with them was Toronto’s own, Dean Blundell from the Edge. As he’s sitting, Tim and Sid are giving him props, but it seems the feeling is mutual. “Does it really matter, you guys are so National, so huge.”, replied Blundell. Tim begins to discuss the fact that people started tweeting for Blundell to go meet the boys and that’s why he showed up at the clubhouse – he wanted to sit down and say hi to the guys. “If you tweet something, people will do it.”

Sid goes on to ask Blundell how the Fried Asparagus was?  “Is there swearing on this show? (he obviously doesn’t listen to Tim and Sid: Uncut) They completely screw up vegetables. They have fucked up asparagus; they deep fried it.” Tim goes on to mention that Sid loves everything deep fried, but Blundell continues to disagree, “They fucked this asparagus up.” Toddy Tickles then shows up and you could hear him in the background a little bit. At this point, the audio for the interview is quite bad. Tickles can’t believe they are allowed to swear on the show, so he joins right in by mentioning something about sticking the deep fried asparagus up someone’s ass. At this point, the guys stop the interview because it starts to break up. Some technical difficulties occurred and they’ll try to play the interview again tomorrow. Sid’s not happy Tim and Sidizens, “We sat there for thirty minutes after our live show and no one can hear a fucking thing from either one of them (Bettis and Blundell). Is that what you’re telling me?” Tim tries to relax Sid, but it doesn’t seems to be really working.

NBA and NFL Lockouts
Well, it will soon be official. The NBA could be in a lockout, the end has come. Apparently, discussion between the NBA and it’s players is breaking down and all the things that the NBA said they took off the table, are now back on. It seems that the big issue is the hard cap and the soft cap. It’s scary shit if this happens; especially after the successful season the NBA had. Ratings were through the roof – there’s a lot to lose. Sid continues to vent that he’s pissed with the audio issue from earlier.

Sliding Doors and Broken Glass
Random story time from Tim and Sid. “Did I tell you that I once ran through a sliding door screen?” When Sid was 16, he attended a BBQ with friends, including his future wife, and ran right through a screen window. “The screen was out in a party full of titties.” Embarrassing! Micallef then compares that story to the time he actually ran through a glass door while chasing his brother when he was around 7 years old. He went straight through the door and landed at the feet of the Postman who screamed, “Holy Shit!” He then shows the guys in the studio the scar on his bicep.


Ecuadorian Soccer and Whores

“Fuck please, let’s end with this.”, Seixeiro. I could write up a whole section here, but I think it’s best I find the complete article for you. From Terra US:
The manager of Hotel Quito in Ecuador told ESPN that they have videos showing women entering the rooms of some Mexican players. “We have videos of females visiting (at least three), entering with the baggage of the team into the area of the players’ bedroom claimed Roberto Ramia.” In one of the rooms, the National Police found a garbage can with the keys to five of the rooms (they used) and used condoms were also found, Ramia alleged in the program Los Capitanes. The manager claimed that the keys and condoms were found in room 109, which was used by Nestor Vidrio and Jonathan dos Santos. This version of events seems to reinforce the theory that the people who robbed players of the Mexican team in Ecuador were able to get the room keys from four prostitutes who allegedly entered the hotel with the players. On Saturday, computers, iPads, cellphones, documents, and cash were stolen from the rooms of Mexican players in the hotel.

Rapid Fire
The show was full of edu-tainment today so Bronsteter was running out of time and had to do a quick Rapid Fire. Solid gold either way though and a good round of CUT or UNCUT.
– You’re married. Having unframed posters on your wall. CUT or UNCUT? CUT…the last time I did that was in Junior High School. My walls were covered with Scottie Pippens and Michael Jordans.
– Grunting while playing tennis with a friend. CUT or UNCUT? This is CUT too. However, if you really wanted to rib your buddy, this is an option.
– Selling someone a slice of your pizza. CUT or UNCUT? CUT. No question. CUT.
– Going to a concert alone. CUT or UNCUT? CUT. This is fail. If I was stuck with one ticket and unable to bring someone, I’m not going. Scalp that shit on Ebay or Stub Hub.

Good show today boys. I loved hearing more stories from the Joe Carter Annual Golf Classic. Overall, it sounds like it was a great night and judging from the reports released today, the fundraiser was a huge success. With regards to the stories, the Charles Barkley one was right up there; Hippo dying golf swing is a good explanation. Pretty good debate also during Pizzo’s Update – with both sides of the the Mom/Sister jokes and Hairline limits. It’s too bad that we couldn’t hear the rest of Blundell’s interview. Just as you guys shut it off, it seemed to be picking up steam and getting good. Nice way to end the show though – with the “running through screens and glass” talk and Bronsteter helped save face by providing a good Rapid Fire. I was going to give you a 9.5, but after the Blundell miss, 9/10.

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