Wheat Kings, Canada Day, The Decision: Part 2, and the NHL Free Agent Frenzy

Ahead By A Century – The Tragically Hip

“It’s Free Agency day in the NHL.
Lockout day in the NBA.
And Canada Day in Canada.
(No, that makes sense.)
Happy Birthday Canada! What up! (What up Canada? haha)”

Happy Canada Tim and Sidizens! While most of us are probably at the Blue Jays game, having a beer on a patio, or just basically relaxing from having a day off, the dudes behind Tim and Sid: Uncut are doing work and providing us all with another episode. No holidays for these guys. Bronsteter is putting in work behind the glass, Noon is on vacation and replaced by Dave Coulson, Tim and Sid are both present, and Rob Pizzo, Mr. Update-less, is present and in the booth to discuss today’s NHL Free Agent day. But first, let’s breakdown the topics for today: Brad Richards, Roger Goodell, Christian Ehrhoff, Jonas Valanciunas, Roy Halladay, Tim and Sid Blog, Dean Blundell Take Two, Erik Cole, NBA.COM, and Canada Day.

The Royal Couple and Waiting 4 Hours to See A 1.8 Second Drive-By
Before the boys begin discussion on what transpired over the last few hours in the NHL, they talk about William and Kate’s recent visit to Ottawa for Canada Day to lighten the mood. Sid throws out the most obvious question about whether anyone saw them earlier in the day during the Canada Day festivities. “Did they sign as a UFA?”, asked Pizzo. “I’d sign that in a second.”, (referring to Kate) replied Sid. Tim followed up with “I think she’s a restricted free agent now though guys. You might have to give a first, a second, and third…” They also discuss all the people that waited on the streets waiting for William and Kate to drive by. Micallef pretty much calls out anyone over the age of 15 that waited on the Hill to watch the Royal Couple drive by a loser 🙂 It seems that Pizzo and Sid agree with that statement and give a great example of someone screaming out, “I waited all day for thhhiiiisssss…” as the Royal Couple drive by in a car going about 60 mil/hr. I’m not sure waiting in a crowd for 4 hours to see someone drive by in 1.8 seconds is really worth it.

95% Chance and Radio’s Margin of Error
Sid also brings up the fact that on today’s show, they’ll try and play the Dean Blundell interview from the Joe Carter Classic Golf Tournament. If you remember, on yesterday’s show, Bronsteter attempted to play the audio and it seemed to break up and was very hard to hear. They ended up having to shut it down and said they’d try again today. Seixeiro asks Aaron if there’s a possibility that the audio works today. According to Bronsteter, they’ve been testing it all day, but in saying that, “Radio has a margin of error period. I’m go to say we have a 95% chance this works.” To which Sid replied, “I’m not saying shit.”

Free Agency Day in the NHL!
It’s free agency day folks in the NHL. That only means one thing on the Tim and Sid: Uncut radio show, lots of hockey talk. To help with discussion and to breakdown many of the signings, Tim and Sid bring in their very own Rob Pizzo to figure everything out that’s happened up to this point.

The first agent signing discussed was regarding Kris Versteeg. The Florida Panthers have acquired Versteeg from the Philadelphia Flyers for two draft picks. The three time 20 goal scorer will hopefully give a boost to the Panthers offensive line. But according to Sid, “The best part of the Panthers story is the fact that their salary was .80 cents coming into today.” From what I can gather, you have to hit the basement and today was literally a shopping spree for them, they had to make moves or they couldn’t play. Besides Versteeg, the Panthers also signed veteren, Ed Jovanovski to 16.5 million over 4 years. The guys are not sure this was the brightest move though, “He’s 35 and he’s only getting better.”, said Sid sarcastically. Pizzo made a great analogy when he compared all the signings by the Panthers today to the film Brewster’s Millions; just spending money because it’s required. Other deals made by the desperate Panthers included: Jose Theodore to a 2 year deal worth $3 million, and Scottie Upshall to a 4 year deal worth $14 million. Panthers be shoppin’!

BREAKING NEWS! Speaking of shoppin’, the Buffalo Sabres just signed Ville Leino to a 6 year, $27 million contract. Holy shit! The guys seemed pretty surprised by the signing but all agree that they love what “TERRY PEGULA” is doing. Pizzo is a little shocked that Leino didn’t resign with the Flyers but Tim makes a great point that with Richards and Carter sent packing several weeks ago, it was only a matter of time before Leino would have wanted to move, “Those guys were his boys.”, added Tim. Now that the Sabres have acquired Leino and Christian Ehrhoff (earlier in the day, the Sabres signed Ehrhoff to a 10 year, $40 million deal), and with Miller in net, Tim wants to know “where do you put these guys?” Seixeiro believes it’s still a little too early to tell and we’ll have to wait and see where Brad Richards and some of the other free agents land. They also briefly talk about the fact that while the Flyers no longer have Leino, they did however pick up Max Talbot and Jaromir Jagr.

Another big name available today during the free agent frenzy is Brad Richards of the Dallas Stars. Richards seemd to be the most talked about free agent today and many teams have sent representatives to Mississauga in an attempt to sign the UFA Centre. Teams that are said to have the best chances of signing Richards are the L.A Kings and New York Rangers. The crazy thing about whoever signs Richards is that the first 2 years of his contract will be the max $12.8 million – crazy numbers. The guys play a guessing game: Sid believes he’ll sign something around $80 million, while Pizzo and Tim think it wll run between $60 – $70 million. But Sid makes a valid point, “He’s the best of the bad bunch. How can he not?” Pizzo believes the fact that Richards is 31 will prevent him from making that kind of loot. Other deals quickly mentioned here include Marco Sturm who just signed with the Vancouver Canucks. Micallef thinks it’s an okay deal because “they needed someone to protect the Sedins. What happened to them in Vancouver was ridiculous.”

Being from Toronto, you knew the guys were going get into some Maple Leaf talk and discuss the moves the team has made so far today. Oh wait, “after a few months of heavy talk, Brian Burke hasn’t done a fucking thing.”, cried Sid. Leafs nation has been completely silent today as no moves have been made. Pizzo throws out the idea that maybe Burke is scrambling behind the scenes in an attempt to get Richards. But Sid’s not hearing it, “We hear a lot of tough talk from guys, but sign somebody for fuck sakes. Go get Kaberle, anything! Your team is shit, your tickets are overpriced. Go get something for your fans to talk about today and put a smile on their fucking faces.”, screamed Seixeiro. Sid makes a good point though, if your team has been losing they way the Leafs have been losing for the last few years, you have to do something. The Leafs are plain bad right now – they have to do something. The guys then focus on Brad Richards a little bit more and suggest that maybe TSN do a Decision 2 with him (LeBron James’ spinoff). So many teams are trying to get this guy; ideal set up would be Gord Miller conducting an interview with Richards in a gymnasium.

Other deals mentioned briefly are:
1. Roman Hamrlik is off to Washington
2. Joel Ward is gone to Washington
3. The Montreal Canadiens have picked up Erik Cole
4. Semyon Varlomov is now an Av
5. Sheldon Souray is now a Dallas Star

They briefly touch on the Semyon Varlomov deal that saw the Capitals netminder head to the Colorado Avalanche for 2 draft picks (1st pick in 2012, and 2nd round pick). The team is definitely rolling the dice on Varlomov because no one has really seen what this kid could do yet. He could be a great or he could be bad. If this deal goes badly for the Avs and they suck big time next year, Sid thinks this could be worse than the Phil Kessel deal as the 2012 draft lottery looks pretty good so far.

A special Canada Day match game in celebration of today’s NHL Free Agency. Some great responses from Tim and Sidizens and the guys working the show include:
– A Kardashian because they’re whores (Sid)
– Paris Hilton (Dave Coulson)
– Ecuadorian Hookers (Pizzo)
– Confirmation Tweets from the 3-letter insiders (Hainser Nation)
– Twit pics of the Canuck flasher
– Hainser’s Shake Weight
– More than blame thrown around at the Joe Carter Classic on lost taped interviews 

Pizzo also throws out the answer Pippa but this seems to be where the guys think he’s crossed the line and pretty much ask him to leave. “Thanks for doing this Pizzo (regarding all the NHL discussion above). Go home and get some coke and sleep. Do whatever you do.” To which Pizzo has no response and just chuckles as he leaves the booth.

Interesting Facts From Pizzo’s Update
* There were none. Pizzo worked 4 hours today and was uable to find three updates to discuss. Hopefully he’ll have the strength on Tuesday. He has no reason not too.

Hainser’s Corner
* Check out the blog entry and transcript below for the very special Canada Day Hainser’s Corner. 

Dean Blundell, Deep Fried Asparagus, and Take Two
As mentioned above, Bronsteter was going to give it more try to see if he could air the interview with Dean Blundell from the Joe Carter Golf Classic Tournament. This time – it was a success. Again, one of the men that sat down with Tim and Sid during the event was Toronto’s own, Dean Blundell from the Edge. As he’s sitting, Tim and Sid are giving him props, but it seems the feeling is mutual. “Does it really matter, you guys are so National, so huge.”, replied Blundell. Tim begins to discuss the fact that people started tweeting for Blundell to go meet the boys and that’s why he showed up at the clubhouse – he wanted to sit down and say hi to the guys. “If you tweet something, people will do it.”

Sid goes on to ask Blundell how the Fried Asparagus was?  “Is there swearing on this show? (he obviously doesn’t listen to Tim and Sid: Uncut) They completely screw up vegetables. They have fucked up asparagus; they deep fried it.” Tim goes on to mention that Sid loves everything deep fried, but Blundell continues to disagree, “They fucked this asparagus up.” Toddy Tickles then shows up and you could hear him in the background a little bit. Tickles can’t believe they are allowed to swear on the show, so he joins right in by mentioning something about sticking the deep fried asparagus up someone’s ass. “Deep fried in the bowel’s of grease.”, replies Blundell. The interview does get a little crazy as it continues with topics such as masturbating in excitement for sport idols, not being allowed to talk over one another in radio, Tickles has a sore back from too much sex, and the news that Chris Hansen (To Catch A Predator) was busted on camera for having an affair to which Blundell asks, “Was he having intercourse? Was he up in the guts?” The interview does turn serious for the one second though as Blundell goes on to thank Joe Carter for putting off the event and all the other athletes for showing up and playing some golf. According to Dean, the athletes do this pro bono and do not make a dime – big ups for everyone that showed up in support of the Children’s Aid Foundation.

TimSidizen and the Tim and Sid: Uncut Review Blog
* I’m currently doing up an entry discussing my experiences at the Score, the gifts/swag from the boys, and a look at the behind-the-scenes of the Tim and Sid: Uncut radio show. Keep an eye out very soon.

Things we Learned This Week
1. Devon White was a better Centre Fielder than Kenny Lofton, according to Devon White
2. Ecuadorian Prostitutes are irresistible but they’ll steal from you
3. The Inaugural Score Hall of Fame has a fairly big first class
4. Justin Bieber looks like Marcy D’Arcy
5. Star Jones wheezes heavily when she speaks
6. The Hockey Hall of Fame is easy to get into
7. I (Aaron Bronsteter) should never speak on Gordie Howe’s behalf ever again

Rapid Fire
– Shia LaBeouf said he hooked up with Megan Fox on the set of Transformers and he wasn’t sure if she was dating Brian Austin Green at the time. CUT or UNCUT, banging someone you know that may be in a relationship? I stand by the UNCUT, Green was on 90210, no respect.
– A love letter written by Michael Jordan when he was 18 was leaked to the press. Have you ever written a love letter to a girl? It all depends who and how hot the chick is…if there’s potential to get some, a love letter could be warranted. That’s why Google is so great because you could just copy something from there.
– What’s your favourite thing about Canada? Too many things: the air, the people, the country as a whole. It’s great to be a Canadian! How many countries can you start a blog in and be recognized by the guys that provide the inspiration. Un-fucking-believable.

Amazing show today. Obviously this will be a biased review as I was in the damn thing. How can you give it anything less than 10/10? Plus, they worked on a holiday, who can take away anything from that. I especially liked the NHL frenzy discussion on Brad Richards and the lack of effort today by Brian Burke. The dude needs to stop shopping because it isn’t going to start on it’s own. Lucky for Bronsteter that the Dean Blundell audio finally worked – I had a feeling that Seixeiro would have thrown the headset through the glass if it hadn’t 😉 Failure on Pizzo’s part though for not providing an update – but I know the boy was tired. They did manage to squeeze in a Hainser’s Corner which never ceases to amaze me. Overall, great show, there didn’t seem to be any down time and I appreciated the boys letting me sit in, behind the glass and then later in the booth. Happy Canada everybody; hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Good job boys and have a great holiday 10/10.


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