Luke DeCock, Sid Ain’t Touching It, and “I’m Sorry I Didn’t Go To Humber”

“Steve Simmons spouts off.
Jon Rauch goes off.
And Casey Anthony gets off.
(Sid: And not the good kind of get off; you know what i mean…like first degree murder get off.)
(Tim: No, I understand.)
(Sid: It’s a terrible story. I don’t know why I’m laughing.)
(Tim: She made the opening.)
It’s July 5th, Famous Run that bitch…”

Good Tuesday Tim and Sidizens. After a long weekend for most people on Friday, Tim and Sid: Uncut had a holiday yesterday so the boys were pumped to get going this afternoon. Tim and Sid are in the booth, Bronsteter, speaking on behalf of millions is behind the glass joined by Dave Coulson, and John Noon is out somewhere getting extremely hammered because he’s still on holidays. Today’s jam-packed show includes the following topics: Afghanistan, Novak Djokovic, Hot Dogs in your mouth, Jose Bautista, Brad Richards, Sonny Weems, Albert Pujols, Dany Heatley, Tomas Vokoun, and unfortunately, Casey Anthony.

Casey Anthony and Kim Kardashian
Obviously you’re thinking, Casey Anthony? Well according to Sid, “The only reason that’s on the end of the list is that it was the most intriguing part of my afternoon.” For those of you unaware, it was announced not too long ago that Casey Anthony, accused of murdering her 2 year old daughter with chloroform and duct tape, was acquitted of first-degree murder, aggravated child abuse, and aggravated manslaughter of a child. “They were like the Marlins. They couldn’t hit a fucking thing down in Florida.”, said Sid. And how could the boys not address this topic – twitter, the news, and all other forms of social media blew up when this news was released.

* During this part of the conversation, Seixeiro announces that Andrea Cuccaro, Supervising Director at the Score and Ryerson University Graduate, interrupts the show briefly to serve Uncle Timmy his coffee.

“Why’d you give me the finger?”, asked Sid. From what I can gather, Andrea attempted to deliver Tim’s coffee discreetly but according to Sid, “I don’t live in that world. Fuck that.” The boys get back on the topic of Anthony and figure that it will be pretty interesting to find out what she does this evening; now that she’s been acquitted. Seixeiro had a conversation with DJ Bennett when this story was going down and the question between the two was what would you do if you saw her in a bar tonight? She’s semi-attractive, free, and looking to have fun. “What’s the opening line?” asked Sid; “You got a body I could kill for.” Tim goes on to say that he was checking out Anthony’s Photo Bucket account this afternoon and couldn’t believe some of the pictures that were posted of Casey Anthony partying. “I thought mothers weren’t supposed to party; but I’m crazy like that.”, said Tim.

Tim and Sid then get into a little conversation about the tweet that Kim Kardashian had sent out earlier in the day in response to the verdict. She, like many others, was blown away by what happened in the case. She did however, take a hit from the twitter world and one in particular was the following below:

“Fuck! Are you serious? I had to re-tweet it…on a 1-10 level of murdering people in the face with a line, that’s a 10 1/2!”, screamed Sid. Kardashian took some heat because her father, Robert Kardashian was part of the defence team that managed to get OJ Simpson a not-guilty verdict back in 1994. It’s crazy stuff to say the least. Before the guys finish off the discussion, Tim brings up the fact that the puppet, Nancy Grace is going to have a field day with this verdict.

BREAKING NEWS! The Arizona Cardinals have activated Albert Pujols and will return a month ahead of schedule after he broke his left wrist. That’s what I call miracle-healing.

BREAKING NEWS! The Carolina Hurricane have just signed Tomas Kaberle to a 3-year $12.75 million deal. Are you kidding me? Over $12 million? I’m not sure how someone could pay this kind of money for this guy, he is what we thought he was – not very good. Micallef still can’t believe that he signed with the Hurricanes, “To the Toronto Maple Leafs of the South? What is going on?”. It’s true, Kaberle is now going to join Paul Maurice, Tim Brent, Alexei Ponikarovsky, Jay Harrison, and Jiri Tlusty. I’m telling you…if the Hurricane have success this year, which I doubt they will, it would be a slap in the face to Leaf Nation. “Luke DeCock is going to have a field day once the season starts.”, replies Sid.

Steve Simmons, Brian Burke, & Afghanistan
Other news from the hockey world today included the criticism of Brian Burke by Steve Simmons for visiting the troops in Afghanistan. During the free agent frenzy, the Toronto Maple Leafs made no moves or signings and Simmons suggessted that Burke should have stayed home rather than go overseas. I don’t post items from the 3-letter network on this site, but felt it was important to post the video so you can see exactly what Simmons said.


Tim and Sid both know Simmons a little bit and are familiar that he doesn’t “give a fuck” when it comes to writing what’s on his mind or discussing what pops in his head, but both guys agree that this topic, the issue of Burke going to Afghanistan was hands off. “It’s one of things that you don’t touch.”, said Tim. To which Sid replied, “It’s one of those things that I wouldn’t touch.” And we all know Sid does a lot of touching – this ain’t one of them. The guys also discuss the fact that Dave Nonis was still in town (Nonis is the Leafs Sr. V.P and Director of Hockey Operations) and if a deal was going to be done by the Leafs, Nonis would have handled it. According to Tim,“Leaf fans might not realize that Dave Nonis performs a lot of the GM duties while Brian Burke remains the face.” Despite what was said by Sid on Friday’s show, he has no problem with Burke visiting the troops, but if so, he hopes that he wasn’t conducting business there. A little e-mail is okay, here and there, but a full out Skype? That would have been weird.

There’s also brief discussion on the Leafs newest additions: Matthew Lombardi, Cody Franzen, and Tim Connolly. Of the three pick-ups, they all agree that Cody Franzen was the best choice where as Connolly and Lombardi could be injury prone. Seixeiro likes players that play 80 games and the Leafs could be rolling the dice with these two guys. Other things we learned during their chat:
1. The boys are somewhat skeptical about the amount Brad Richards signed for; 9 years is a long time.
2. Sid once asked Glen Sather for an interview when he was 18. With cigar in mouth, Sather replied, “You got 3 minutes. Walk and talk.”
3. Tim’s first interview was with Jim Brown when he was 17. The unfortunate part of the story, someone else erased the tape conversation on him.

“What Goes Around, Comes Around” & Dany Heatley 

What Goes AroundJustin Timberlake 

Before Pizzo’s Update, Tim and Sid quickly discuss the recent swap of Dany Heatley and Martin Havlat. The first question asked though by Tim is in regards to the Ottawa Senators, “How do the Sens suck? And how does Murrary still have a job?” Both Heatley and Havlat were once property of the Ottawa Senators, they were assets, and now they’re gone. What the hell! However, the player of focus is Dany Heatley. It appears that his failure to show up in the postseason is what killed him. According to Sid, now that he’s in Minnesota, Heatley will never be able to flip that switch, “they’re not going to the postseason anytime soon. His career will be defined by him postseason perfomance.”

Sid also goes on to say, “What goes around, comes around.” Tim seems to try and stop him from that train of thought, but I agree with Seixeiro wholeheartedly. This kid ruined a couple of teams and he was nothing but a dick and caused problems for a lot of GMs and organizations. Tim’s point of view for not rushing to judgement is valid too. He would like to get inside the head of Heatley to find out what’s going on, what he’s thinking, and why he disappears at times. A player with his ability and who has averaged 40 goals a season since the lockout could be valuable to a team. “There’s some demons in this guy.”, says Tim. Sid’s not buying the psychology aspect completely, “I have very little sympathy, hockey-wise, for Dany Heatley. I don’t give a shit.”

Interesting Facts “From No Longer Tired” Rob Pizzo
Before his update, Pizzo gives his two-cents on Heatley going to Minnesota. He justs thinks the Sharks are tired of making excuses for the kid; an elite goal scorer such as Heatley only has 5 goals in the postseason. Wow! Pizzo also notes that the Sharks will save about $3 million by having Havlat.
1. WWE Wrestler CM Punk got into a verbal altercation with several fans at an event in Australia. “You have a Vagina” was pretty hilarious, but of course, using the homophobic slur seemed to cross the line.

2. Tiger Woods’ commerical for a Japanese heat rub has finally be released. Got to make your money some way.


3. During the Toronto Blue Jays game against the Philadelphia Phillies, Jon Rauch went on a tirad after a bad call. While attempting to subdue the Hulk, Manager John Farrell had his jaw displaced when hit by an elbow from Rauch.


Jose Bautista and Song Selection
Before the boys started in on the discussion of Jose Bautista and the MLB All Star game, Sid asks, “Bronsteter, who helps you pick out the songs?” to which Bronsteter replied that he did (Bronsteter opened the segment with the song Popular by Nada Surf). Tim interjected and suggested that Noon helps him when he’s around and Aaron agreed with that statement.“Wow, in 2.5 seconds he went from picking out the songs himself to Noon helping him out.”, cried Sid. But back to the topic on hand, Jose Bautista has broken the all-time record for all-star game votes, breaking the record set by Ken Griffey Jr. in 1994. “Does it surprise you?”, asked Tim. Sid says that he’s somewhat surprised becasue he didn’t realize how old this record was – ’94. He also finds it great that Bautista is getting the respect that he deserves and it shows that even in Toronto, a Blue Jay can be admired by people in the States and all over the world. Tim and Sid also briefly discuss the fact that Bautista is also taking part in the Homerun Derby come All-Star weekend. Sid sounded a little hesitant about Jose doing it because there’s been a history of guys who participate and then end up having a bad second half of the season. It will be interesting to watch to say the least – The Homerun Derby hasn’t grabbed my attention like it has in the past. I’ll definitely tune in to watch Bautista.

Holidays and Humber College
As the guys are nearing the end of the show, Micallef reminds everyone that they’ll be on holidays from July 11th – 25th. During that 2 week period, the show will air Tim and Sid: Uncut Best Of episodes and according to Tim, “Bronsteter won’t be hosting those shows.” The backstory is: Last week, Aaron approached Tim and Sid asking if they had time to do the voice-over for the Best Of show that aired this past Monday. Both guys were currently busy doing Plays Of The Week so Bronsteter offered that he could do it. It appears that his voice over didn’t grab the attention that it should have and some topics thrown out and the tone of Bronsteter’s voice didn’t exude excitement apparently.
Ex. Making fun of Sid’s hatred during the Chocolate Milk Cut or Uncut & the headline of Peppermint or Spearmint gum debate

Sid: Did you ever think for a moment of being an on-air guy?
Tim: He is, he hosts the Hoops Show.
Sid: What’s that?
Bronsteter: It’s the….
Sid: (interrupting) I’m kidding, I’m kidding…but you’re not good is what I’m saying.
Tim: Oh My GOD! Muuuurrrddddeeerrer!
Bronsteter: I’m sorry we didn’t all go to Humber Sid.
Sid: Well…
Bronsteter: Actually, I did go to Humber.
Sid: Wha, wh…of course you did you fucking moron. I’m leaving; fuck this.
Tim: (Laughing hysterically) “We all can’t go to Humber”…you can’t leave, we have to go to Rapid Fire.

Rapid Fire
From here the hilarious debate continued. “You went to Humber you fucking tool.”, screamed Sid. “The joke is that you’re on air and we both went to Humber.”, replied Bronsteter. After that shit show, Aaron was still able to produce a Rapid Fire for all the Tim and Sidizens.
–  Former NHL ref Andy Van Hellemond is suing the author of a comic strip series that made fun of him. What is your favourite comic strip? Calvin and Hobbes did it for me. Short, easy to read comics with humour for both kids and adults.
– An escpaped Baboon, from the New Jersey Zoo, was just found after being missing for 3 days. What animal would you most be scared of encountering on the streets? I think I’d be more scared of shit that can get into small place, snakes, spiders, and other stuff like that. They can creep up on you.
– Kyrie Irving files a police report saying Miss Hawaii is stalking him. Have you or anyone you know ever been stalked? I’ve never been stalked, but a Miss Hawaii? How is that a bad thing. I need know the whole story first.

This was definitely one of the more random shows in awhile – filled with equal amount of sports talk and straight up hilairty. I’m glad they touched on Casey Anthony and discussed the verdict. I can’t believe they bridged into whether or not she was hot and what pick up line would you use – I added a photo above for all to check out. The discussion on Brian Burke and Afghanistan was interesting; as a fan of the Leafs, things like this should be left alone whether or not I’m happy with the team. Some things are above sports at times. Pizzo made up for Friday by bringing the “You have a vagina” clip – I’m sure we’ll hear that  soundbite lots during the next couple of weeks. Besides the Jose Bautisita and his all-star votes, the second half of the show was all humour and I had to stop listening because I was at work. Thumbs up to Bronsteter for hanging in there because I know Sid was ribbing on him hard today. All in good fun. Solid show 9.5/10.

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