“Is Deron Williams going to Turkey?
Is Kobe also going to Turkey?
And did Hainser steal someone’s bagel?”
(Tim: Turkey bagel?)
(Sid: We’re going to examine that; like early in the show.)
(Tim: Was it a Turkey bagel?)
(Sid: Oh, the new ones are Turkey bagels.)
It’s Thursday Tim and Sidizens, I’m officially going on holidays and it sucks to be you. Actually, our office is just moving to another area of campus so the university gave us Friday and Monday off. It’s still a bonus. Sid and Tim are working in the booth, Bronsteter and Coulson are working behind the glass, and John Noon is likely listening somewhere on vacation like a loser. From the introduction, I could tell that we’re already going to have a pretty great show. Topics up for grabs this afternoon include: Derek Jeter, Brian Burke, Roger Clemens, Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki, Weddings, A-Rod, We Didn’t Start the Fire, and Hainser, of course.
From the top of the show’s intro., it’s suggested that Ryan Hains attempted to steal someone’s bagel this morning at Tim Hortons on King Street. The victim, Ryan Barron, tweeted Tim and Sid earlier in the day to let them know. Of course, if it’s Hainser related, the guys were going to attempt to get to the bottom of the accusation. “If this is true, if this accusation is correct, Hainser could have an Anthony Weiner downfall-ish thing here. This is serious.”, said Sid.
* Please see the blog entry below for full details of Hainser’s Corner and what went down at Timmies on King Street.
Once Tim and Sid finally got the truth about what happened, they continued to rip into him. “So, the next time you take a bite into a bagel and it tastes like syphilis, Hainser might have touched it.”, said Sid. The moral of this whole story is that if there’s any Tim and Sidizen out there and witness Hainser fucking around, let them know so they can set him straight.
Deron Williams, Kobe Bryant, and European Basketball
Well, after 20 minutes of hilarious radio, we finally get into some sports. Out of the NBA today, news came forth that Deron Williams will consider playing basketball in Turkey if the NBA lockout is not settled in time. Rumours are that Williams would play for the Turkish club, Besiktas, the same club that Allen Iverson played a couple of games for a few years ago. To follow up that report, there’s also been rumours that the team also wants to talk with Kobe Bryant, a spokeperson for Turkey Airlines.
Two things come to mind when Tim hears these kinds of rumours. 1. The NBA lockout is most likely going to happen, and 2. Why are NBA folks surprised by this? Micallef makes a solid point here because should FIBA allow this, there’s nothing wrong with a player going overseas to play ball. It happens all the time in the NHL – especially during their lockout several years ago. Seixeiro agrees that this isn’t new, but he feels that Williams’ announcement really puts this lockout and the possibility of NBA players playing over in Europe a strong possibility. “If FIBA clears you, why not? If I’m a fringe NBA player like Sonny Weems, why not?”, asks Sid. If a player wants to get some experience and some playing time, allow them to head over there and play some ball. It’s not hurting anyone.
The boys also mention the fact that if the NBA does take a year off, Colangelo’s pick even looks more fantastic as Valanciunas has to sit out a year before he can wear a Raptors jersey anyways. Tim seems hesitant to say anything though. The guy has taken heat from Raptor Nation and I don’t think he wants to discuss the topic anymore. Shut the fuck up people, it’s facts, it’s stats, it’s information. Seixeiro makes a great point when he says, “It’s news folks. Just get the fuck over it….He’s a Raptor now. We would have covered them no matter who the guy was.”
BREAKING NEWS! Ryan Barron has just tweeted in and he accepts Hainser’s apology for trying to steal his bagel this morning at Tim Hortons. “Who knew we would be peacemakers.”, said Sid.
12 Grain Bagel vs. Double Chocolate Donuts
The boys get dragged back to the discussion on pastries and it turns into a debate about bagels and donuts. Seixeiro says that he hates bagels but would take a Double Chocolate donut anytime of the day. Tim on the other hand, seems to go for a healthy multi-grain bagel. “It’s probably healthy to eat, but I never eat that stuff.”, replies Sid. Tim compares Sid’s love for Double Chocolate donuts to the John Belushi Saturday Night Live Skit, Little Chocolate Donuts. SNL sucks for not using Youtube, but you can see the hilarious video at the following link. Lucky for us, a Tim and Sidizen tweeted the show and sent in a funny fact that the Double Chocolate donut actually has less calories than the multi-grain bagel. What the hell? All this time, I should have been eating donuts. “So basically kids, the lesson is that Double Chocolate donuts are the shit and don’t waste your time on fucking mult-grain bagels.”, said Sid. The boys continue the debate and glance at the Tim Hortons’ nutritional guide online and Tim notices that a few of the dipped donuts are considered Yeast Donuts, “Does that disturb you at all?”
Don’t Bullshit Seixeiro, Brian Burke!
In Toronto Maple Leafs news, Brian Burke held a press conference today to discuss the team and his reasoning behind why he didn’t sign Brad Richards. According to the boys, when Burke announced he was having a presser, it was George Steinnbrenner like, everyone was running down there to hear him speak. However, Sid was not too pleased with some of the statements made by Burke. “Don’t talk to us like we’re fucking idiots.”, cried Sid. Apparently, Burke’s rationale behind not signing Brad Richards or attempting to was because of his “respect for the salary cap.” “Your respect for the salary cap is why you didn’t get Brad Richards? My translation is I couldn’t fucking get it done to the best of my ability but this is how I’ll sell it…Don’t give me this bullshit about your respect of the salary cap…It’s very high horse. It’s very arrogant and it sound like you’re talking down to us and to the fans.”, said Sid. It definitely sounds like a someone taking the pussy way out when he should have just told the fans why he didn’t get it done, not about his feelings toward the salary cap.
Interesting Facts From Pizzo’s Update
Pizzo manages to weigh in on the Brian Burke discussion before his updates and he thinks this is a good example of opportunism. Basically saying that with the possible lockout in the NHL coming up, Burke is just attempting to position himself and let everyone know that he doesn’t agree with the salary cap and their front loaded contracts. If anyone was going to be stubborn, it would be Brian Burke.
1. Recently signed Mike Commodore tweeted today, “For those asking, I have not decided what # I am wearing yet…but I am considering #64. Need to talk to equip manager..decide at camp.” This would be amazing, who remembers the Commodore 64?
2. La Toya claimed that her late husband Jack Gordon told Mike Tyson that he could have sex with her for $100,000. Boxers be shoppin’!
3. According to the Miami New Times, Only 22 percent of Floridians say they have a favorable opinion of LeBron. 24 percent have an unfavorable opinion, while 54 percent are unsure. Yes, that makes LeBron more popular here than in Ohio, but the King still has a lot of work to do to win over fans in the Sunshine State. LeBron’s anniversary of ‘The decision’ is upon us, which means he’s been hated for about a year now.
4. Rob Pizzo will not be available tomorrow as he’s off to Montreal for his brother’s bachelor party. On behalf of all Tim and Sidizens, I hope you return alive.
Mark Morrison vs. Montell Jordan
* See blog entry below for full details of what went down during this discussion.
Oregon Will Feel NCAA’s Wrath
Well, it looks like another college football team is in the shit with the NCAA. It looks like Oregon Athletic Administration paid Will Lyles, formerly of Complete Scouting Services, $25,000 by the University of Oregon to streamline players towards the Ducks football program…only to get rebuffed himself by the school and Chip Kelly when the school learned that their activities with Mr. Lyles would soon be made public. Tim and Sid can’t believe that this is happening again to another school. “Is this just evidence that your system is broke?”, asks Tim. Sid says he’s not that surprised and backs it up with some #realtalk. NCAA is one of the biggest sports businesses in the States and there’s no way to avoid it, it’s going to happen. Sid also feels that while some boosters are to blame, he does feel sorry for the people, the fans, who support the team. “I’m just a little numb to it right now.”, said Sid. Will people care? “At the end of the day, it’s too engrained in the sporting sense for a lot of America…At the end of the day, when it’s not your school, people become desensitized to it.”, said Sid.
Great Rapid Fire today Bronsteter. You didn’t have much time but the couple you brought were something to think about, even if they had nothing to do sports.
– China wants CNN to apologize for calling a particular kind of Chinese food disgusting. Is there a particular food that disgusts you? Avocado is the devil’s span. I hate that green shit.
– Horrible Bosses comes out this weekend. Who do you think would be the worst boss in real life, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, or Colin Farrell? I think Farrell could be pretty shit, especially if he started drinking. He’d either fire you, fight you, or demand that you get shit-facead with him.
HORNS to Hainser today. I hate doing this but he did provide some great material in the first part of the show. What the hell? Stealing someone’s bagel. “Sorry Brother, I didn’t mean to take your bagel yo!” Today’s show was definitely more edu-tainment than sports as they guys spoke mostly about donuts, bagels, mark morrison, montell jordan, and nutritional values. However, the sports they did discuss, especially the Oregon story was interesting. I have a feeling that over the next couple of days, we’re going to hear a lot more about this scandal and allegations. And Tim, for the love of God, don’t stop talking about Jonas Valanciunas fuck. Screw the people that hate on you or give you the #calmdown. I’m going to throw out a 9/10.