Uncle Timmy Is Back In-studio, Harris Finds A Monstrosity, Fedor = Jordan, & Noon Interviews Tiger Woods

“Goodell and Dee Smith have settled their differences.
Sean Avery seems a tad unsettled.
And Micallef’s stomach, we think, has finally settled.
(Tim: Kinda)
(Sid: Cheers to you Pepto Bismol)
(Tim: Kinda, Gravol)
(Sid: How ya feelin’? I guess we’ll get to that)
Famous run that bitch!”

Attention! Attention TimandSid-izens. Before Tim and Sid even announce the topics to be discussed or ignored, Bronsteter rings in the popular Breaking News soundbite. It appears that Tim Micallef did not have food poisoning. I repeat – Tim Micallef did not have food poisoning. While Tim “had a tender No. 5 of the Cardinals”, he’s not entirely sure it was the chicken souvlaki after all. Usually, if you get food poisoning, it will run through your system within 24-hrs but what Tim seemed to have lasted for almost 72-hrs. There’s reports that a three day flu is going around and there’s a possibility that’s what Uncle Timmy picked up. Sid, however, heard there was a measles and mumps outbreak in the GTA and suggests that Tim has “ass mumps.” “It’s the cocaine of sickness if you will.” cries out Noon. And seeing as Tim blamed chicken souvlaki, he apologizes to Greece, Rony Seikaly, Alex Anthopoulos, “The fat chick who wrote My Big Fat Greek Wedding“, etc.

But back to the topic on hand…welcome to Friday’s review of Tim and Sid: Uncut for August 5th, 2011. Noon, Tim, Sid, and Bronsteter are all available for your sports & edu-tainment needs, while Pizzo visits the donkey show in Mexico during his brother’s wedding. Topics up for discussion on this episode included: LaMarr Woodley, Sean Avery, Canton, OHIO, Steve Williams, Horses, Roger Goodell, Anthony Calvillo, D-Wade, Brett Lawrie, and Tim Micallef.

Random Tidbits
Before the guys began actual discussion on anything, they bounce around numerous topics that seem to pop to their heads.
1. There’s a horse story involving Mauro Ranallo and Tim and Sid decide they’ll wait for “Mr. Yo, Yo, Yo, and away we Go” to come on to talk about it.
2. The reason Mauro Ranallo will be on during the second segment is because he’s talking with Dana White later this evening.
3. According to Sid, Tim sounds much better than he did earlier in the week. “You sounded like death.” said Sid.
4. Tim kind of thought that Bronsteter’s fart noises were a bit much on Tuesday. Sid pretends that he had nothing to do with it. “Come on Bronsteter, you put the “F” in professional” but then goes on to say “Bronsteter found the first 10 effects and Noon found the next 14. It was a group effort.” 

Canada’s 2014 World Cup Qualifiers & Amateur Sports
The first topic brought up today was by Uncle Timmy. He missed the last couple of days and wanted to bring up Sid’s Canada soccer rant from yesterday pleading listeners to go support Team Canada at BMO Field. According to Sid, the backstory of why he did the rant was because theScore‘s Joe Ross and Kristian Jack had tweeted earlier in the day that tickets for Canada’s qualifiers were going on sale this upcoming Monday. The tweets got Sid thinking that near the end of Thursday’s show, he’d mention it as well to the TimandSid-izens and it ended up being something else. Sid said he was taken aback by all the positive feedback and didn’t realize that he’d get such a reception. I second that feedback because the comments coming through the blog were positive and everyone was giving Sid huge thumbs up for supporting the team.

Since Canada soccer was up for discussion, Tim also went on to throw out that news that Canada Basketball also had games coming up and he urged everyone to go watch them. A big pet peeve from the guys (i.e. Jack, Micallef, Seixeiro, Ross, Noon, and Bronsteter) is that “20,000 people will show up at BMO Field for a TFC game, but 4,000 people will show up for a Canada soccer game…it doesn’t make sense. One excuse is that you might not about about it.” said Tim. He also goes on to say, “10,000 people will go to Scotiabank Centre to watch a Carleton and Ottawa match-up, but when the national team plays at the ACC, 2,500 will show up. And that’s generous.” So according to Tim, the next time a sport is being played or is coming out in this country, Tim and Sid: Uncut are going to let you know about it in order to get fans out there. Noon then goes on to mention that there’s also a men’s Canada rugby game coming up as well at BMO Field – it’s all about getting people out there supporting amateur sports in Canada.

Fellatio Tweet From A TimandSid-izen
During Tim and Sid’s discussion on amateur sports in Canada, Bronsteter read out the following tweet from a long time listener and TimandSid-izen:

“Hey honey, Micallef is talking about Canada Basketball. Lick my balls.” said Sid. The guys are all laughing at this tweet and find it hard to believe that it’s actually happening – they want someone to confirm the tweet/act. Sid goes on to say, “In summary, two horns on today’s show. One to Rugby Canada and another one to the guy who’s getting head while listening to Tim and Sid: Uncut.”

Orville’s Tweet Statistic On Greg Sansone 
After the random tweet from TimandSid-izen Shane, Tim brings up the recent tweet from producer Aaron Bronsteter the day before. As you might already know, over the last few weeks, Sid and Tim tend to bring up Greg Sansone’s Tweet Of The Day. The V.P. of theScore‘s Television Network has been participating big time in tweet world lately and he usually brings his best stuff. The tweet from Bronsteter earlier in the day was as follows:

Tim goes on to give Bronsteter props for finding that brilliant statistic and we find out that Aaron actually counted the number of tweets for the month of July and divided it by Greg’s total number of tweets. Pretty solid work from him – he should be getting horns. But while Tim is giving Bronsteter credit, he also questions the particular lineup sheet Aaron gave the boys prior to the show. “Anthony Calvillo breaks the record for completions in last night’s Al’s win over the Argos. No numbers, no stats, no nada.” says Tim. While Tim was searching for stats on google for Doug Flutie and Warren Moon to compare Calvillo’s new record, Bronsteter was counting Sansone’s tweets. “It shows I care more about Sansone than the CFL.” replied Aaron.

Cry Me A River Steve Williams
From the world of golf, Tim and Sid chatted a little bit about the Bridgestone Invitational that’s taking place this weekend. One of the stories to come out revolves around Tiger Woods and his ex-caddie, Steve Williams. To get you up-to-date, several weeks ago, Woods “let go” or “fired” Williams , his caddie for the last decade. The twist? Williams now caddies for Adam Scott who is currently leading the tournament. Williams is on record for saying that “he wasted two years of his life” with Woods, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da, and Sid ain’t buying it or feeling any compassion what-so-ever. “Whatever happened to Steve “fuckin'” Williams, I’m fine with…Let’s all leave naive-ville for a moment…don’t give me the victim routine. Just don’t.”

Believe it or not though, our very own John Noon was actually at Akron, OHIO this weekend and snagged a quick one-on-one with Tiger Woods for his take on the story. However, Woods seemed to side-step the Williams debate and the interview took a surprising route.

Noon’s one-on-one with Tiger Williams

Carol Confirms The Monstrosity
Before Updates, Tim and Sid quickly bring up a story that developed earlier in the day – one of great importance. Camera Operator for theScore, Ryan Harris sent the following email to everybody in the building:

Sid goes on to say though that this is the same camera guy who sent an email over a month ago to everyone trying to sell one Sade ticket at face value; “He’s just a shady fuckin’ guy. A shady guy.” said Sid. The funny part of the story though? theScore‘s office manager & accounts receivable, a little nice English lady, Carol Park, followed up with another email and said, “Oh my word. Yes, it is a monstrosity.” While Tim’s not trying to disparage Carol’s email in anyway, he just found it funny that she responded to Harris’ email and confirmed said clog. Poor Carol. “That’s why men go home to poop.” cries Tim.

Interesting Facts From “Jack of All-Trades”, Dave Coulson
1. In an operation called “Iron Snare,” police sent out letters to parents who owed child support declaring they had won tickets to the 2011 Iron Bowl game between Auburn and Alabama. The deadbeat dads and moms arrived at a site showing highlights of last year’s game. Told they needed to bring the letter and photo ID, the suspects were then cuffed one-by-one for a total of $270,000 in unpaid child support. According to a report, 10 people showed up to try and claim their free tickets.

2. NBA basketball players were having a game in a New York City park with a huge crowd of fans watching. One fan had a screaming match with Michael Beasley and really got under his skin. Beasley yelled back, and finally walked up to him and pushed him in the face. Coulson actually contacted Nike who were filming the event and they sent him the actual footage of what went down.

But if you want to see what really went down, click the following link here.

3. After beating Major League Baseball at its own Beat The Streak challenge, Stephen Colbert was granted the right to take over the MLB twitter account for 24 hours. Some highlights from Colbert’s tweets included:

Mauro Ranallo Joins Tim and Sid: Uncut For Some Horse Meat Discussion
For the second segment of the show, Tim and Sid brought in Mr. Crazy himself, MMA fanatic, theScore‘s Mauro Ranallo. “Mauro Ranallo has been in this studio for 38-seconds and he will not shut the fuck up. Tim and I can’t get a word in edge-wise.” cried Sid. “You’re a thoroughbred Ranallo.” Before the guys get into any UFC and MMA discussion, I bring you back to the beginning of today’s review regarding horse meat. This past Wednesday, Ranallo was on theScore’s BET Night Live and two stories emerged from that night.

1. Ranallo raised nearly $600 for the Cancer Society
2. During his opening monologue BET Night Live, he mentioned horse meat

“Do you think on a horse-racing show talking about horse meat is appropriate?” asked Sid. “Yeah, yeah. It ties into what I’m interested it…It ties into the equine industry…I have Alistair Overeem who eats horse meat.” replies Ranallo. At this stage I’m busting a gut because it’s one of the funniest things I’ve heard on this show in awhile. Ranallo attempts to justify his answer by saying that some people might not like how the horses are treated – but he does admit that he did it on purpose to create a story. But Sid compares it to “this is the equivalent of saying TLC, or TLC running a slate saying “Welcome to Kate Plus 8″ brought to you by ground infant.” The room blows up! “What the hell was that?”, cries Ranallo.

1. It looks like the rent was TOO HIGH. Jimmy McMillan has been evicted from his house.
2. Mauro Ranallo brings up the best body story from yesterday. Ranallo thinks Mirren has a hot body, “Helen Mirren? I think she’s sexy.” said Ranallo.
3. Tim can’t believe that Jersey Shore 4 was trending.

Mauro Ranallo, Michael Jordan, and Fedor
Finally the boys get into some discussion on the the MMA and the upcoming UFC 133. First item on the table was the recent tweet from Dana White in response to a comment by our very own Mauro Ranallo.

What was lost in translation though was that Ranallo was comparing Fedor to the Michael Jordan of the Washington Wizards; not the Michael Jordan of the Chicago Bulls. Ranallo says that he stands by this comparison because Fedor was an undersized fighter, went 32-0 (not including the no contest/illegal elbow strike), and didn’t lose for nearly a decade – with most of those victories coming in the first five minutes. And at that time, Mauro still believes that Fedor fought for the greatest promotion and the reason that White disagrees with the comparison to MJ is because he never promoted one of Fedor’s fights. “If I (referring to Dana White) didn’t create you. You don’t exist.” says Ranallo.

Sid goes on to ask Mauro whether or not he legally works for Dana White now? Even though the UFC sucked up Strikefore, Ranallo responds by saying that he works for theScore and Showtime. He’s lucky to be able to wear a reporter’s hat for theScore and a commentator’s hat for Showtime. He’s not scared of making comments like those above; Dana White likes him, Joe Rogan likes him, and he has no worries of speaking his mind. He still stands by his comment and the comparison between the two athletes. Ranallo then goes on to say that he’s just disappointed because he feels that true MMA fans were cheated by not seeing Fedor get in a UFC ring. Like many other North American fans, Mauro will never see him in the UFC. Tim brings up a good point here and questions whether or not White never brought in Fedor because he was protecting his guys (i.e. Brock Lesnar and Randy Couture). Unfortunately, time was running out and Ranallo throws out a quick pick for Saturday’s UFC 133: He’s taking Evans over Ortiz.

Rapid Fire
The last time Mauro was in-studio with Tim and Sid: Uncut, he stayed for Rapid Fire with Tim and it was gold. The “horse meat” lover brought some solid answers and this time he decided to stay around again.
1. Fantasy football drafts are coming up. Who would you take in the first overall pick? I’m already going with Michael Vick. However, there’s a few bodies in my pool and getting the first pick will be tough.
2. Merril Hodge ripped into Tim Tebow recently. Who do you think is the worst starting quarterback this year? If Jimmy Clausen starts for the Panthers (I know Cam Newton is there, but Carolina hasn’t started a rookie QB since Weinke in 2001) it could spell utter chaos.
3. The Change opens this weekend in theatres. If you could change lives with someone for one day, who would it be? Mauro throws out the best/strangest answer to a Rapid Fire question in ages. “I would want to be Monica Lewinsky’s dress.” At first there’s silence, and then gasps of WTFs all around. “AND BOOM GOES THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ DYNAMITE.” screams Ranallo as he leaves the booth. “That’s the most inappropriate thing that has ever been said on this show.” Bronsteter is not even going to do his Things We’ve Learned This Week because Ranallo just answered them all, Mauro had a huge week: Horse Meat, Monica Lewinsky’s Dress, and his Dana White Interview.

What a huge Tim and Sid: Uncut Friday! It took me this long just to get it out because the guys discussed so many topics and I wanted to make sure I wrote a good, lengthy review of the show without having to sacrifice any of the good stuff. In order to appease the masses, I’m going to do up these kind of reviews during the weekends and during the weekdays, just focus on the important stuff. Seeing as this is still a hobby, a boy needs a break every now and then. So either way, look for big ones like this for Friday’s shows.

Where to start? First off, it was great to have Tim back in the studio. The show always works best when the boys work together – they really have a great chemistry with one another. I loved the discussion on amateur sports in Canada and I agree with Tim whole-heartedly that the support behind those athletes and the sport is sometimes lacking. Funny, random highlights of the first segment included Bronsteter’s Sansone Stat and Noon’s Tiger Woods interview – solid effort by both guys. Dave Coulson stopped snorting crack for a second and delivered a pretty good Update in replace of Pizzo. But hands down, the winner of today on the show was Mauro Ranallo. This guy is completely nuts and he always gets a good reaction from the TimandSid-izens. I can only imagine what it’s like to meet this guy in person. From horse meat, to Lewinsky’s dress, to Michael Jordan comparisons, the last half of the show was amazing. For delivering a screeching “BOOM GOES THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ DYNAMITE”, today’s show gets a 10/10.


One thought on “Uncle Timmy Is Back In-studio, Harris Finds A Monstrosity, Fedor = Jordan, & Noon Interviews Tiger Woods

  1. I enjoy what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the good works guys I’ve included you guys to my personal blogroll.

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