Roger Goodell Is The Godfather, Fedor Gets Axed, & Jason Bourne Plays Some Poker With A-Rod

“Tiger’s back.
A-Rod’s got his back up.
And Timmy, isn’t back.
Famous, run that bitch!” 

Good afternoon peeps and happy Thursday. Hopefully everyone in Tim and Sid nation are looking forward to the upcoming weekend. Welcome to the Tim and Sid: Uncut‘s episode review for August 4th, the day we celebrate the birthday of Roger Clemens and mourn the death of Japanese soccer player, Naoki Matsuda. Sid is once again flying solo in the radio booth, Tim continues to be home laid out, Bronsteter is looking for calendar iPhone apps., and Dave Coulson – the man of many talents – fills in for Johnny “drinks a lot” Noon. Items up for discussion today that may or may not be addressed include: Charles Barkley, World Cup Qualifying, Fedor, Hot Bodies, Pippa, SIRIUS, Roger Goodell, A-Rod, Doug Fister, and Breaking News. 

As mentioned in the introduction, Tim Micallef is once again absent. Our boy is still at home curled up in a ball thanks to a bout of food poisoning. The breaking news today comes from a couple of TimandSid-izens:
Sean via Twitter: “Stock rises in ass cream as Tim Micallef’s asshole expands for the third day in a row.”
John via Email: “Tim now has pinkeye #shitty” “If you mean pinkeye of the intestine, you’re absolutely right.”, responded Sid.
Stephen via Twitter: “Tim, can you veto Sid Seixeiro from playing the sounds regarding yesterday’s podcast. I’m fine with fart jokes but #growuppeterpan.” Sid responds to Stephen’s concern by saying that he had nothing to do with the soundbites. “I want to say on air, it was all Bronsteter’s idea completely. I’m a bit more mature than that.”

Goodella The Hun & The NFL
As mentioned on Tim and Sid: Uncut last week, it was announced that the NFL lockout was over and free agency could begin. While many thought the lockout was officially over, the matter wasn’t completely closed. The settlement between the players and owners was done, but the actual collective bargaining agreement wasn’t quite completed as there were a few issues the two sides could only discuss once the players returned to union status:
1. Personal Conduct Policy. For years now, players have been upset about the policy because as it stands now, Roger Goodell is the“judge, jury, and executioner on any untoward incident that’s off the field.” said Sid. Players were demanding or wanted some sort of third-party to determine discipline.
2. Drug Testing. The NFL were attempting to install a system of testing for athletes.

Results: According to Sid, players in the agreement were supposedly going to fight and try to get a third party to help determine discipline. What did players learn today? “Goodell is God – nothing’s changing.” So much for what players were saying over the last three months. And with regards to the second issue? Today in the NFL, a new drug testing policy was introduced; specifically for HGH. For the first time in history, a North American league will be doing blood testing. Sid goes on to say that it will be an annual, random blood test for players that will happen with the Player’s Union consent. “I think the NFL is ready to drop the needle on the players so to speak.”, said Sid. “And the whizzinator really isn’t much of a factor anymore.” Sid believes this is huge news because for the last few months, the Player’s Union swore they’d fight for these two things and now “they got takin’ to the fuckin’ cleaners.” “They essentially decided to take money over freedoms.”, replied Bronsteter. The boys go on to discuss how this will effect the other leagues. There’s going to be meetings in the NHL, MLB, and the NBA (in the next CBA) shortly in an attempt to try and mimic what Roger Goodell was just able to pull off.

Fister! Furbush! WINNING!
Before Sid gets into more news from the sports world today, he quickly gave a shout out and congratulations to Doug Fister and Charlie Furbush. Since being traded to their respective teams, both players took to the mound and collected W’s. “Furbush trimmed down the opposition.”, said Sid. A TimandSid-izen was also good enough to send the show Jim Leyland’s quote after Doug Fister’s win for the Detroit Tigers, “That Fister is pretty good at making batters mishit the ball.” Sid goes on to say that “Of his 99 pitches, only 26 were balls.”

The Myth, The Legend, Fedor Emelianenko Is Released
The next topic up for discussion between the boys was the recent news that Fedor Emelianenko has been released and no longer has a job with Strikeforce. After his loss to Dan Henderson this past weekend, reporters were just waiting for Dana White to make the announcement. From the sound of Sid’s voice, the firing is bittersweet for him but he understands that losing three fights in a row, in a promotion fight, is not the way to go if you want to stay employed. I have to side with Sid on this one – Fedor went up against some of the best fighters in the world and never lost a fight for seven years. He was practically a myth, a legend, a god-like figure for a period of time. But now? Not so much unfortunately and now that’s he’s been released from Strikeforce, what does he do next? “If you’re a free agent and you have an axe to grind with Dana White, that’s a problem.”, said Sid.

Dave Coulson went on to give his two cents and noted that Fedor’s contract is currently with Showtime. M-1 Global still has one show left with Showtime that was part of Fedor’s contract so there’s a possibility that M-1 Global will probably have Fedor on their next event. And if they want to give the UFC the finger, maybe they’ll match him up with Alistair Overeem. Sid and Bronsteter can see that fight being a draw but then what? Both go to Japan? Either way I don’t think Dana White will care; as far as he’s concerned, he’s done with the both of them. Bronsteter brings up an interesting point though – It’s strange the way that Fedor lost the way he did in the last three fights, he lost three ways that people said he couldn’t be beat: Submission, Doctor Stoppage, and Knockout.

Spiderman, Jason Bourne, and The Alex Rodriguez Gambling Update
Before Coulson’s Updates, Sid quickly brings up the story the boys were talking about yesterday regarding the gambling allegations towards the New York Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez. More news surfaced today from the story that reported that the other people at the poker table with A-Rod were Tobey Maguire, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Leonardo DiCaprio. “That’s a power table. You have Spiderman, King of the World, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck, who piggy-backed Matt Damon to an Oscar.” While A-Rod’s publicists are denying the story, Sid goes on to say that he sees MLB’s concern, but still sees no issue if he was playing poker.

Interesting Facts From Dave Coulson’s Updates
If you missed yesterday’s show, Pizzo let the TimandSid-izens know that he was off to Mexico for the next couple of weeks for his brother’s wedding.“Pizzo is in Mexico taking care of some cartel business.” said Sid. So for today’s updates, Dave Coulson, the Double Dipper, a versatile human being, the Bo Jackson of Tim and Sid: Uncut, will be providing the half-time news.
1. While some NBA players are heading overseas for work, the Bucks’ Brandon Jennings is doing something completely different. The “Curator of Cool” is taking an internship with Under Armour and is receiving some pretty sweet perks. He’s gets access to the CEO’s jeep, a name plate that reads “Curator of Cool”, use of Under Armour’s workout facility, and a condo. Coulson goes on to say that Jennings is also helping develop a new sneaker fashioned after the bumper of a Bugatti luxury car.
2. Boxing superstar Manny Pacquiao’s popularity continues to rise as he gets another boost with his rendition of Dan Hill’s hit “Sometimes When We Touch”. The song has just hit #10 on the Adult Contemporary Music Charts this week.

3. “Do you ride a bike Sid?” asked Coulson. “I have a car. I’m a grown-up.” replied Sid. Coulson goes on to ask Sid if he gets pissed off by bicyclists on the side of the road? Sid goes on to say that he only gets mad at the dudes who weave in and around traffic and the guys who think they’re “Johnny Tour de France”. “I hope both of them get run over.” cried Sid. The reason for the line of questioning by Coulson was that it appears a bicyclist took matters into his own hands in retaliation. Infuriated with motorists parking their luxury cars illegally around the capital of Vilnius, the Mayor, Arturas Zuokas took the drastic step of driving an armoured vehicle over a Mercedes Benz, which was parked in a cycle lane. “Sounds like something Rob Ford would do.” responded Sid.

4. Jersey Shore 4 airs tonight on MTV. The guidos take over Italy.

TimandSid-izens Deliver Some Twitter Feedback
Jay Glazer via Twitter: The NFL Collective Bargaining Agreement has been ratified.
Dave via Twitter: Requested a 21st Birthday shout-out. Sid did just that.
Logan via Twitter:  Jesse Litsch reminds me of you. Looks like he doesn’t really do the whole “diet” thing either #MaryBrowns #FatFuck
Michael via Twitter:
Canada’s Wonderland can go fuck itself. In response to this tweet, Bronsteter goes on to say that he used to work at Canada’s Wonderland – he used to work at the Guess Your Weight Scale. Apparently he would never guess above 180lbs for the ladies, even when girls at least 350lbs rolled on the scale.
Brent via Twitter: Hey Sid, your boy Ice Cube is in the Deion Sanders Hall of Fame documentary. Bronsteter brings up the fact that it’s pretty ironic considering they were talking about how crappy his documentaries were. “If you’re anywhere near the California area, Ice Cube is a source. You can’t get away from Ice Cube.” said Sid.
TimSidizen via Email via Phil Peoples via Facebook: Phil, a huge fan of Tim and Sid: Uncut doesn’t have twitter so he asked if I could send the link on to the boys. It was a list for the hottest celebrity body – winner being Helen Mirren. Sid’s a fan of the GILF, but he’s not sure she should be at the top of any list. You could click here for a list of some other women voted to have hottest body. But according to Sid, “No poll like this should take place unless Selma Hayek is in the poll. Did you see her on Ugly Betty?”

Tiger Woods Debuts A Goatee
All eyes were on Tiger Woods today as he was competing in his first golf tournament in awhile. Woods, coming off a three month lay-off was competing in the Bridgestone Invitational this week. As of right now, Jason Day leads the pack with 10-under and Tiger is sitting at 2-under. Not typical Tiger, but it is his first day – it’ll be interesting to see how his second day goes. At least he made it through the first round.

Greg Sansone Tweet Watch

Canada’s 2014 World Cup Qualifying Schedule
* See previous post for full details of Seixeiro’s Soccer Canada speech. 

Rapid Fire
A huge Rapid Fire from Bronsteter today as it includes CUT or UNCUT questions from TimandSid-izens around the nation. Topics include Chicken, Beer, Pizza Toppings, and Debit Cards.
1. Giving a beer your buddy just bought you to a girl that you’re trying to pick up. CUT or UNCUT? If I was not “engaged”, I think my buddy would have no problem with me giving a beer to a chick in order to get some – he’d actually be proud to have helped – UNCUT.
2. Booing a player at practice. CUT or UNCUT? Completely CUT. It’s practice and if you enjoy watching practice while being a boob, security should throw you out.
3. Paying for a slurpee with a debit card. CUT or UNCUT? UNCUT – I’ve bought $2 coffees at Starbucks. I never have cash.
4. Shitting at the club. CUT or UNCUT? UNCUT as long as you wipe.
5. Eating just the skin off KFC chicken. CUT or UNCUT? CUT. You can’t leave any meat on the bone…complete Foss if you do.
6. Pizza places that say a gourmet topping counts as two toppings. CUT or UNCUT? CUT. All toppings should be equivalent.
7. Couples sharing a Facebook account. CUT or UNCUT? CUT! This is complete CUT. If a girl asks you she wants to share a FB account, it means she doesn’t trust you and vice versa. Get out of the relationship.

Great show by the boys today. I don’t know what it is, but it seems like each episode keeps getting bigger and bigger. I used to do reviews that included roughly 1000 words, but over the past month, I’ve consistently hit over 2500 – I need to soon quit my job if they start getting any bigger. Awesome show though – I’m beginning to miss Tim but Sid is doing a great job by himself – he’s a solid A+. Great opening about Tim – again I like the fan interaction. Solid breakdown by the boys on the Roger Goodell and Fedor stories; I was impressed with Dave Coulson’s knowledge of MMA and his updates today. Where the “F” has this kid been? I’ve heard him fill in for Noon before but he’s hardly said anything before – representin’ KW. Best part of the day though belonged to Sid’s rant on Canada’s Soccer. Our boy threw down and hopefully people listen and get out to BMO to support the soccer team. Hey, my chick hates soccer but she loves going to Toronto FC games for the beer and fresh air. It’s a great way to hang out! Huge CUT or UNCUT by Bronsteter – I think this was one of the biggest Rapid Fire segments in awhile. For the amount of content, Salma’s breasts, and Sid’s rant – 10/10.


Doug Fister, Charlie Furbush, & The Football Factories International: The Balkans

“KD puts on a show at Rucker Park.
The Jays put on a show for Robbie.
And Randy Moss will be a no show this season.
(Tim: This should be a good show.)
(Sid: And the season after that.)
(Tim: We’ll see.)
(Sid: And the season after that, and after that. If he does stay retired is the point.)
(Tim: Correct.)
Famous run that bitch!” 

Welcome back TimandSid-izens from the long weekend. It’s hard to believe that we’re already into August and before you know it, the NBA preseason will be taking place….oh wait, the NBA filed two claims against players today, this “whose dick is bigger” contest won’t be ending anytime soon. But in the meantime, Sid is ready to go today, Timmy “Zachary” Micallef is present, and our boys Noon and Bronsteter are set to deliver some horns. Items up for discussion that may or may not be addressed include: Ubaldo Jimenez, Antonio Cromartie, Fedor, Brandon Marshall, World Cup Qualifying, Peyton Manning, Randy Moss, Nnamdi Asomugha, Eric Bedard, and theScore on SIRIUS 158. 

theScore, Tim and Sid: Uncut, and SIRIUS Radio Channel 158
To start off today’s show, the boys had some sad news for listeners of theScore Radio. As of September 1st, theScore Radio will no longer exist. Unfortunately, SIRIUS Satellite Radio decided to pull the plug on the station due to the recent merger with XM Radio Canada. While Tim and Sid: Uncut will remain at theScore for the TimandSid-izens, Tim goes on to “pour a little out for our fallen homies.” Sid agrees with those sentiments and says that with all the shuffling going on with the merger, SIRIUS 158 lost and became a victim.

Charlie Fister and Doug Furbush

Amazing news for fans of Otto Pfister and Michael Ryder. Over the weekend, the Seattle Mariners and the Detroit Tigers completed a deal that saw Charlie Furbush being shipped to the Seattle Mariners; the lefty for the Detroit Tigers was part of a 5 player trade. Furbush and two other minor leaguers will go to Seattle, in exchange for David Pauley and Doug Fister. The guys break into some hilarious discussion as they analyze the trade.

Tim: My thoughts are if Detroit slowly eases Fister into their rotation gently, he’ll fit in right away.
Sid: If you bring Fister into what is a dry rotation; a rotation that has been struggling, I think it’s tough. You might get a little uncomfortable.
Tim: And if it’s dry, you don’t want Doug Fister.
Sid: If it’s a nice moist situation, ripe for…a fluid situation…
Tim: Then that’s a better spot. 

The boys start jumping the shark here and Sid then goes on to relate the above trade to a little incident that happened to him over the past weekend. Sid, along with his beautiful wife, attended this past Sunday’s Roberto Alomar Day. As he was walking up the steps to his seats, a young TimandSid-izen screams out, “Yo Sid! Doug Fister. Fister hardly knew her!” and then went on to tweet it. I would have paid to have seen Mrs. Seixeiro’s face here – pure gold. Bronsteter brings up Charlie Furbush again in which Sid responds with, “You have to trim the rotation to get Furbush in. You don’t want an unmanicured bush in there who hasn’t pitched for awhile.” “Fister for Furbush.”, cried Tim.

Randy Moss Retires? Or Fishing For Suitors?

While Furbush and Fister were big news in baseball, most of the first segment this afternoon focused around the announcement that wide receiver Randy Moss was hanging up his cleats for good. Tied with Terrell Owens for most touchdowns (153), Moss filed his retirement papers with the league and seems to be gone for good; or will he? Sid’s not entirely sure this will be the last we see of him and Tim agrees with that statement. Micallef compares Moss to a little kid who’s sulking right now because there wasn’t enough interest for him come last week’s NFL free agency. Sid questions whether or not we’ll see a day when people retire and we’ll believe it, “Brett Favre has fucked it for everybody.” And this is true; how many times has the aging QB said he was done with the game only to show up the following season in a new jersey? Whatever happens, it’s hard not to believe that as this upcoming season progresses, there won’t be a team looking for his services come Week 4. Tim and Sid then go on to discuss whether or not Randy could be considered the best wide receiver of his generation. Tim finds this a hard question to answer but when you look at other guys like Terrell Owens, Hines Ward, Marvin Harrison, Issac Bruce, and Torry Holt, you can see that Moss was definitely one of the best in that class. If you watch the video below, you can see he made a lot of quarterbacks look good – sometimes all you had to do was throw that shit down the field.

The boys continue discussing Moss’ legacy and bring up the fact that “Randy Moss made defensive coordinators rethink things.”, Sid. “Randy Moss ran two routes, fast and faster.” Sid believes that history would have painted a better picture of him if he won a Superbowl, but for now, he’ll mostly be known as the troubled player with attitude issues. But for a guy who had 47 touchdowns from ’07 – ’09, it’s hard to believe that he’s even retiring. Those days are not too far gone. A listener writes in to the show and suggests that the career of Moss is similar to that of Allen Iverson. Tim agrees with those sentiments and draws comparisons to how they began their career, what they went through in the big leagues, and how their careers shrank. Sid agrees with the comparison but believes that “Randy Moss is A.I. in light speed.” As the first half of the show begins to wind down, the boys have some fun and bring up the time when Moss got fined $10,000 by the NFL for mooning. He was later asked by a reporter how he was going to pay the fine, in which he responded:

The boys continue to joke and laugh at Moss’ answer above and Sid asks, “You run over to the meter maid and put your balls on her face. Randy, why did you put your balls on her face?” to which Moss would hypothetically respond, “What’s balls on face to me?”

The NFL Dream Team and Jason Babin
The Philadelphia Eagles continued to add pieces this weekend to their roster. Besides Vince Young and Nnamdi Asomugha, the Eagles also signed Jason Babin, Cullen Jenkins, and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Tim goes on to discuss that many people are already calling this team the NFL Dream team, even players such as Babin.

“Do you think that’s a bit too much”, asked Tim. Sid feels it would be okay for Nnamdi to tweet it but for Babin? That would be “like Udonis Haslem tweeting “We’re the Big Four bitch.” They also discuss how DeSean Jackson must be feeling right now in regards to all the recent acquisitions by the Eagles. As of right now, Jackson is only set to make $500,000 next season and for a player who I would call one of the MVP’s on that team, that’s not a lot of dough. Jackson wants to get paid and he deserves to get paid; according to Sid, he’d have no problem with this kid holding out. “He’s making a CFL salary.”

BoDog and Alex Trebek
Before Pizzo’s Update, Tim threw out the news that BoDog had picked the favourites to win the 2011-12 Superbowl and wonders if Sid knew who the favourite to win it all was. Bronsteter begins to play the Jeopardy theme song and then changes the topic completely to the recent news of the game show host, Alex Trebek. The 71-year old Trebek, awoke in his hotel room early in the morning last week to find a woman trying to steal personal items including cash and a bracelet. He then proceeded to chase her down but snapped his tendon in the process. Based on the details Trebek gave San Francisco police, the woman was later apprehended and booked for burglary and possession of stolen property. A HERO! This act of heroism only makes Sid wonder how Alex gets women in the club? What’s the line that he uses? “What is my dick?”, replied Tim. “This early automan empire stuck his dick in where?”, cried Noon. Eventually the boys get back on course and the odds are as follows:
1. Philadelphia Eagles: 3rd Favourite 9 – 1
2. Green Bay Packers: 2nd Favourite 7  -1
3. New England Patriots: The Favourite 6 1/2 – 1 

Interesting Facts From Pizzo’s Updates
Pizzo starts off the segment by referring to the Randy Moss soundbite above by playing the following track:

Nuts On Your ChinEazy E

Sid goes on to tell a story about when he attended a basement party years ago in Mississauga. The cops showed up to the party due to noise and just as they got there, the smart ass kid working the tables puts on N.W.A’s Fuck Da Police. The Dad got pissed and my guess is that everyone cleared out of there pretty quickly.
1. Braylon Edwards was alleged to have been on hand at South Bar in Michcigan when two members of his entourage got in a scuffle with employees. According to a report, the two individuals were arrested and one club staffer was reportedly cut with a kitchen knife, requiring 14 stitches. Edwards wasn’t directly involved with the scuffle, but he did tweet the following, “Dam. Get ya knuckles ready” and then “Don’t fight if. You don’t know how.” Edwards later used the same old excuse by every twitter fool by tweeting:

2. In order to wear No. 5, a number previously held by Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, Donovan McNabb entered a written agreement with his new teammate to promote the punter’s rock band, Tripping Icarus, during a press conference, donate $5,000 to charity, and buy Kluwe an ice cream cone.
3. San Antonio Spurs legend, David Robinson, is selling his home in San Antonio. The kicker? The house is on a street that was named after Robinson called “The Admiral’s Way”. Pizzo throws out the question, CUT or UNCUT? Selling a house on a street that’s named after you?

The Philadelphia Eagles agreed to a one-year contract with veteran running back for the Miami Dolphins, Ronnie Brown. Wow, I’m blown away. Both of the guys like this move and it only makes the backfield for the Eagles better. “DeSean Jackson just tweeted the following, “What the fuck?””, replied Sid. Hopefully for his sake, with all these signings, there’s money in there somewhere for Jackson. If there isn’t, “that ain’t right!”

2014 World Cup Qualifying News
The main focus of today’s second segment surrounded the released schedule and draws for FIFA’s 2014 World Cup qualifying. “Canada only made on the World Cup of soccer once, and it’s been a fucking disaster ever since.”, said Sid. According to Seixeiro, Canada will avoid Mexico and the United States until the last round of qualifying. They do however have to play Honduras and Cuba and if the team can get to the second spot, they could do it. With this kind of draw, “If they fuck up, it’s on them.”, cried Sid. Sid goes on to say that this was the kind of draw that Canada wanted and that “there’s guys on that team that think they are much better than they prove (De Rosario & de Guzman)…there’s a lack of cohesion.”, Sid. Canada are going to need all the help they can get. Other interesting match-ups to look for include:

1. Croatia vs. Serbia. Sid gets goosebumps just thinking about the match-up. Tim goes on to say that he hopes it will be safe, both for the fans and the players. They then go on to discuss the documentary The Real Football Factories International: The Balkans which ended by telling the story of how a hooligan took an opposing fan to a grave and raped him – If you want to get freaked out, go to 3:28 of the video below.

2. France drew Spain. Let’s just say that things don’t look too good for France because the second place team in that group won’t be going to the World Cup. Spain is a pretty good team if you haven’t noticed, they’re on a roll.
3. Italy drew Denmark

Fedor Emelianeko Is No Longer A Myth

Before Rapid Fire, the boys quickly touch on Fedor Emelianenko’s third straight loss this past Saturday. While there was some discussion as to whether Herb Dean should have stopped the fight, it was clear that Dan Henderson had control and Fedor was in a compromised position. A few more shots and it would have left no doubt. The guys discuss how it’s hard to believe that Fedor went 7 years without losing a fight and now he’s lost 3 in a row. Sid’s convinced that he should have signed with the UFC in 2009, but the idea of co-promoting with M1 Global soured the negotiations & White backed out. Fedor is still probably a draw but not to the same extent.

Rapid Fire
On today’s edition of Rapid Fire, Bronsteter actually put a call out on twitter for help from the TimandSid-izens requesting their best Either Or.
– Open OR close the lights? Turn off the damn lights man!
– Getting punched by Mike Tyson in the face OR receiving an Aroldis Chapman’s fastball to the gut? I’d take a fastball to the gut. Tyson would probably break my jaw, dislodge my brain, and literally break my face. I get married in December, I need to speak.
– Chips OR Cookies? I’m a cookie guy. Which one? It doesn’t matter.
– Braylon Edwards OR Plaxico Burress? I’ll throw Plaxico Burress a bone. Personally, I not a fan of Edwards at all.
– Better wrestling commentator, Jim Ross OR Gorilla Monsoon? Gorilla Monsoon hands down. There was only so much I could take of Ross’ high pitch squeal. And no, I didn’t ask Sansone what his thoughts were.
– If you could bring one CD to a deserted island, who would it be? Walter Ostanek OR Bobby McFerrin? Roll Out the Barrel should go to music hell.

Great episode today boys. Obviously there was a somber mood at theScore yesterday and for Pizzo, Tim, Sid, Noon, and Bronsteter to go in the studio and deliver a great Tim and Sid: Uncut was exceptional. It truly shows their professionalism and I appreciate that. The Fister/Furbush story was hilarious and while I didn’t quote the whole conversation, I’d advise listeners who missed it to check it out. The Randy Moss retirement discussion was Grade A – it’ll be interesting to see how it will play out this upcoming season. I agree with the boys that he’ll be back playing somewhere – the Eagles? Pizzo’s song Nuts On Your Chin was a highlight for updates and Sid’s discussion on the World Cup was good to hear even though the rape chat disturbed me after looking up the video. Solid Rapid Fire by Bronsteter – I personally like the fan touch from time to time. The show really knows how to interact with it’s fan. 9.5/10

NFL Free Agency Continues, The Ugandan Giant, & Bronsteter Can Change His Penis Size

Ochocinco lands in Foxboro.
Vince Young lands in the link.
And Uganda’s Little League team, 
Can’t land in the States.
(Sid: I just threw it in there because I wanted to talk about Kamala.)
(Tim: Yeah?)
(Sid: That’s the only reason I wanted that story.)
(Tim: Will you slap your belly?)
(Tim: Ohhh, Ohhh, Famous run that bitch!”

Welcome to another Tim and Sid: Uncut review folks. The boys had a solid show on Friday and since it was the long weekend, you could tell they were ready to deliver more edu-tainment than sports. Bronsteter was joined by Dave Coulson behind the glass, Tim and Sid were set to go, and “Charlie Chats Up” Noon was on holiday getting shit faced somewhere. Items up for discussion today included: Roy Williams, Roger Clemens, Tiger, Greg Olsen, Colby Rasmus, Canada Basketball, Surveys, Roberto Alomar, and Friday, Friday, Friday. 

Casual Friday and the $43,000 Contractor
Before the boys get into any sport chatter, they both bring up the fact that it’s Friday – it’s the long weekend and both sound pretty excited. Sid drops the news that he’s as relaxed as one could be right now, so relaxed that he showed up today at work with jeans and a t-shirt on. Tim finds it strange because he’s never really seen Sid dress down so to speak; he really hasn’t seen outside the studios. “You came in my backyard once.”, said Tim. “And by backyard, I mean behind the house.”

Conversation between the boys then flows into the recent estimate delivered to him by a contractor. Micallef has a 30-year pool behind his house and problems are starting to arise: the concrete is coming up, his pipes are leaking, and it’s just plain old. And with his little boy growing up, the family is going to want to use it more often in the future. Anyways, he had a contractor come in and after an inspection, he told Tim that it would take about $43,000 to fix it. WTF? That’s more money than I make in a year for christ’s sake. “You might as well purchase a CFL wide receiver for that.”, replied Sid. It’s just a ridiculous price; Sid throws out a challenge to all the TimandSid-izens to help Tim and his pool issue and if they know any pool contractors in the GTA area that are good, let Uncle Timmy know. Tim’s going to try and get some more quotes and hopefully going to get a better deal with someone.

Uganda’s Little League and Kamala

 Kamala Theme Song – WWF

Shitty news for a Ugandan youth baseball team that would have been the first from Africa to play in the Little League World Series. The team was denied visas over players’ age discrepancies this week and won’t be able to enter the States. “You think the Tour of France is crooked? This fuckin’ Little League World Series is the worst thing ever.” Tim sounds just as pissed with the idea and responds with, “To sully a 12-year old baseball game?” Ridiculous! The actual reason that Sid wanted to bring up the topic though is because it would allow him to bring up The Ugandan Giant, Kamala. For those that don’t know, Kamala “James Harris” was an American professional wrestler whose popularity rose when he wrestled in the WWF during the 80’s and ’90’s. The guys reminisce about Kamala, his antics, his new folk singing career, and old school WWF vignettes. Some of Sid’s favourites included those belonging to Mr. Perfect.

Boom Goes the NFL Pen!
Tim and Sid finally break into some great NFL Free Agency discussion. Today is especially important because at 6:01PM ET, signings between players and teams will officially begin. While we’ve been hearing trade rumours and agreements, nothing is final until this evening – “Women be press conferencin'”, cried Sid. Some of the big name players up for discussion and small points made during this segment included:

1. Kevin Kolb is a different bird – he’s left the Philadelphia Eagles for the Arizona Cardinals
2. Nnamdi Asomugha sweepstakes continues: front runners for the cornerback include the New York Jets and Dallas Cowboys (We now know he went to the Philadelphia Eagles)
3. Players in the Jets organization are being asked to restructure their contracts in order to help sign Asomugha: Mark Sanchez volunteered to do it and Darrelle Revis has been asked to do the same thing
4. Sid gives a little shout-out to the Carolina Panthers for some of their moves
5. Tim can’t get over the fact that the Chicago Bears haven’t made any big moves, besides Roy Williams, especially for a team with NFC aspirations, “What are they waiting for?”
6. After the signings of Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ochocinco by the New England Patriots must have sent a buzz through the New York Jets’ offices. Both Tim and Sid believes they’ll be making some moves just to keep up with the Patriots
7. Rumours are that New England’s Belichick is going to make one more run at the Superbowl before he retires
8. Sid attempts to ask Tim to make a prediction who he thinks will be a Superbowl pick in each conference. Tim seems to side step the question and a just lists a few teams who he thinks won’t be there; The Colts for example
9. News is released that Greg Sansone is “tweeting up a fuckin’ storm right now.” If you need to know anything about the NFL free agency, follow this V.P of television

Chad Ochocinco
Tim and Sid do spend some time on one particular deal involving the New England Patriots. Both of them really like the move, especially after seeing the following youtube clip showing the relationship between Belichick and Ochocinco.

According to Sid, it seems like they have a great relationship; they really seem to get along. “There’s a good chemistry there and they look like they’ve known each other for years.”, said Sid. They both also agree that Ochocinco will honour Belichick’s system and will end up being a big asset for Tom Brady. In regards to all the VH1/twitter shit that Chad takes part in, they can see Belichick shutting that stuff down in hopes of getting Chad to just football. There was also quick discussion on Ochocinco, NE’s Aaron Hernandez, and the #85. Right now, Hernandez owns #85 and sits in a great position to get Chad to pay some big dough in order to get the jersey number. “I’m hoping he bent Chad Johnson over.”, cried Tim.

Vince Young

“What do you think  about Young going to the Eagles?”, Tim asks Sid. “Is that not now the most athletic 1-2 QB punch in the history of the fucking planet? You have Vince Young and Michael Vick who can run for days.”, replied Sid. Both guys again seem to like the move and Tim especially feels that if Young can go in there, shut his mouth and just play football, his stock value for the following year can only increase. Bronsteter throws out names like Garcia and Kolb who’ve made it big after being a backup with the Eagles organization, “If you’re a backup quarterback, being in Philly is the place to be.”

Kamala’s Folk Songs
Bronsteter breaks the NFL free agent chatter by playing some of the folk music from Kamala as discussed earlier in the show. The guys can’t believe it’s really him, “This is the same man I once saw bite a man’s forehead open.”, said Sid. You can listen to some of the tunes by clicking here. Tim believes it kind of sounds like Bobby McFerrin, the American grammy winner vocalist and conductor known for his hit, shit song, Don’t Worry Be Happy. “Bobby McFerrin can go fuck himself.”, cried Sid. Tim seems to be giving McFerrin some credit because the singer won a grammy and sells out shows in Europe – he’s huge over there. Bronsteter backs up McFerrin’s popularity by throwing out an interesting statistic: McFerrin won a grammy, but The Who and Jimmy Hendrix never. Sid’s not buying into the hype though, the best memory of McFerrin for him belonged to the episode from Family Guy.

Interesting Facts From Our Boy, Rob Pizzo
Pizzo starts off the show by playing a little Live Bobby McFerrin. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the clip that Rob chose but it gives a good example of how horrible it is. I’m one for singing, not people making dying cat noises.

They boys go on to discuss McFerrin some more and a TimandSid-izen writes in letting us know that McFerrin has actually one 10 grammy awards. Wow! Who knew you could win all those awards by making slurs with your voice. The boys also discuss the fact that McFerrin did the theme song for season 4 of The Cosby Show. There’s mutual love for that show, but it’s agreed upon that once Cousin Pam showed up, it went downhill. Pizzo compared it to jumping the shark. “Fuck Pam, where’s Rudy?”, cried Sid. While Alvin, Theo, and Vince were some of the funnier characters, an all-time favourite had to of been Peter.

1. After being traded to the New England Patriots recently, sources close to Ochocinco say that the wide receiver will do whatever it takes to sport #85 for his jersey. Probably not the best words to use when going into a negotiation. This story reminds Sid of the movie The Fan starring Robert De Niro and Wesley Snipes. During the film, when Juan Primo won’t give up his number to Wesley Snipes, Robert De Niro (The Fan) takes matters into his own hands and kills the guy. Here’s the trailer…

2. The cameras caught New Jersey Nets power forward Kris Humphries declaring his celebrity fiancé Kim Kardashian the second most beautiful woman in the world. For the record, Humphries believes his mom to be the most beautiful. “He’s mom must have nice tits.”, added Sid.

3. If you remember from yesterday, Pizzo announced that Jalen Rose was for a DUI. Well it seems the twitter hate has been pouring in. How does Jalen respond? He deleted the tweet after but I have a screen capture of it below.

Tim and Sid’s ASKMEN.COM
ASKMEN.COM is a men’s online magazine offering the best advice on dating, secrets of love, celebrity biography, relationships and health. The other day, Tim, Sid, Producer Roger Lafleur and Andrea Cuccaro were discussing some of the questions that were asked on the survey. In what I call a hilarious segment and one that MK fully listened to with me, the following items discussed were:

1. Is it important for a girlfriend to have wife potential?
“Bronsteter, I’ll ask you. You used to crush ass.”, Sid.
“And by crushed ass he means masturbate.”, Tim.
Bronsteter answers the question with a “No.”
2. Would you dump a girlfriend if she became fat?
Tim believes that “YES”, he would dump a girlfriend if she became fat and it seems that 47% of men agree with him.
3. Are you comfortable with a partner friending her ex’s on Facebook?
Tim answers “YES” to the question and responds with “I’m confident in my ability to schkeef. I’m not worried.”, cries Tim. 44% of men agree with Micallef.
4. Have you ever lied about the number of sex partners you’ve had?
Tim absolutely refuses to address this question. “I refuse to have this conversation and refuse to have this conversation with my wife. I don’t want to know her number. She shouldn’t want to know my number.” Bronsteter agrees with Tim who goes on to say to guys who think they are going to find a virgin. “You’re not finding a virgin. So guess what, the woman you’re with has been run through before.”
5. Have you ever fantasized about a partner’s friend?
“I’m going to throw in / sister.”, says Sid. 37% of men said “Yes, but I try to avoid it now.” Meaning they wanted to before?
6. Would you be willing to tell your partner that you would like to engage in a fantasy together?
“I don’t like that one.”, responded Tim.
7. Can you tell if a woman is faking an orgasm?
Tim goes on to say that you can’t, but Sid responds with a funny bite, “If a woman tells me she’s having an orgasm, I know she’s lying. I know me.”
8. Have you ever had sex with a co-worker?
Neither one of the guys answer this question but according to Sid, “56% of men said no, but i would if the opportunity.”
9. Is it ever okay to pay for sex?
“I think if you’re a fucking loser with money, it’s fine.”, replies Sid. And Tim follows up with the idea that if you’re going to die a virgin, then yes…you got pay the dough to get some love.
10. Bronsteter, would you change your penis size if you could?
“I can. I just use my hand.”, replies Orville. From hear, you can hear Uncle Timmy mimicking vomiting noises in the background.

They also refer back to the CUT or UNCUT question that was brought up yesterday regarding if it was okay for guys to do yoga? Tim believes that it’s a great spot to meet women, but Sid isn’t buying that theory at all. He believes that the ratio of men to women would be the same if you went to a Backstreet Boys concert. The only question I ask Sid, how do you meet a chick in amongst 20,000 fans screaming the names of said bandmates. They are not looking to fuck you, they’re looking to fuck the boy band. In yoga though, “ladies be wearin'” LuLu Lemon, you’re in a quiet room, sometimes have to partner up, and sometimes you might have to press your crotch against their wonderful lady lumps. It’s a win-win.

They finish up this segment by mentioning that there was a women’s section to this and that they’ll discuss it at a later date to which Bronsteter responds, “Who gives a shit what they have to say.” #WhyDoesBronsteterHateWomen?

Canada Basketball
* I’ll be doing up a separate entry of this discussion….so stay tuned. 

Rapid Fire
Bronsteter seemed to not have a lot of time today, but he still managed to throw out a couple of good questions.
1. Apparently some guy in the States preformed a medical procedure on himself with a butterknife. Which medical procedure scares you most? Tim mentions he had a hernia when he was 3-years old. Probably all of them? I guess any working around the heart, important organs, would scare the shit out of me.
2. On Sunday, the Jays are giving out bobbleheads of Roberto Alomar in honour of his Hall of Fame induction. If you could have a bobblehead of anyone else other than yourself, who would you have? I’m always seeing bobbleheads of male athletes…how about some bobbleheads of women’s beach volleyball players?

3. In a recent New York poll, Derek Jeter and Babe were named the greatest Yankees of all-time ahead of players like Joe Dimaggio and Lou Gehrig. Who do you think is the greatest Yankee of all-time? I agree with Tim and Sid on this one. Lou Gehrig, hands down. The guy played for years with a disease and still produced at the ballpark – he still showed up. He should win for heart alone. To be honest, I’m actually surprised to see Jeter on the list.

Definitely up there for one of the more random episodes of Tim and Sid: Uncut in awhile. From Kamala, Pool, Dress Down Fridays, and ASKMEN.COM, it was filled with more edu-tainment than sports. But I like this…it’s Friday, gives us a break and allows us to just enjoy random shit for a change. The NFL discussion was great though. I had never seen the video of Ochocinco and Belichick before so it was definitely an eye opener to see that particular relationship. It will be interesting to see how it will play out this season. The Bobby McFerrin discussion was hilarious and it brought back memories of The Cosby Show, Peter, and the 80’s. Solid segments by Pizzo and Bronsteter. I think Bronsteter was pumped for the weekend too because our boy was throwing stones and comedy for the whole hour. From crushing ass, to changing his penis size, to hating women, he brought his A+ game. Because MK sat with me during this episode and actually laughed throughout the last 30 minutes and was entertained, 10/10. 

NFL’s C.R.E.A.M, The Toronto Blue Jays Get Younger, and Cam Stewart Has A “Burning Passion”?

“We’re back, we’re live.
And we’re a little bit fatter. (that’s true, that’s true)
I like burgers in my mouth. (that’s not the only thing)
It’s been a good two weeks.
Famous, run that bitch.”

Holy Shit TimandSid-izens! After two weeks of being off the air, Tim and Sid: Uncut have returned to theScore Radio and SIRIUS Radio Channel 158. The BEST OF series served it’s purpose for the first while, but by day 13, I was itching for new sports and edu-tainment. From all the TimandSid-izens, welcome back boys. As always, the show was stacked. Bronsteter and Noon were behind the glass, Pizzo was around somewhere, and Tim and Sid were ready to rock. The topics for today’s episode included: Us, the Jays, Summer, Santonio Holmes, Drafted 3, Ervin Santana, 6-hour ball games, Hainser, Golf, and some possible stories.

Right from the start you could tell that the boys were pumped to go, especially Tim. He was tweeting all this morning about his excitement, whereas Sid didn’t say shit #sarcasm. In all seriousness though, they all sounded pretty happy to be back on air, ready to discuss sports and edu-tainment. They do bring up the fact though that over the break, they did receive a lot of “I Hate Bronsteter” tweets and emails from fans throwing jabs at Orville for his voiceovers for the BEST OF series. “Some people just annihilated you. It warmed my heart.”, said Sid. “I’m happy I could put together the BEST OF Tim and Sid and the worst of Bronsteter all into one incredible package.”, replied Bronsteter sarcastically.

Conversation then flowed into why the boys were absent for the last while. As discussed in an earlier blog over the two week break, I mentioned that Seixeiro was working on theScore television series DRAFTED 3. Sid was working 12 hour days and it was just too much from him to work on DRAFTED 3 and come in to do the show so it was decided that Tim and Sid: Uncut and 24 in 30 would be shut down for the time being. Sid goes on to mention that Tim was also part of the show this year and when asked if he liked it, Micallef only provided dead air as he found it hard to find an answer. Finally he threw out, “It was very awkward. I was stuck halfway between absolutely murdering them and helping them out.” Sid goes on to explain that this was natural seeing as both of them are pros in the business, but it is still just a reality show. There’s pauses, they have to get the right shot, and flow does not exist. In regards to the finalists for the show, “It’s unfair what we did to them but it was kind of awesome.”, said Sid.

Just before they are about to talk some sports though, Sid brings up the fact that some listener tweeted to the boys early in their hiatus and challenged them by saying that they took time off because there was nothing going on in the world of sports. Tim thought the tweeter was joking, but it seems that Sid took offence to this, “Sarcasm doesn’t translate to the written word so I didn’t know how to take it. I’ll tell you how I took it – fuck off!”

Hainser’s Corner
See upcoming entry for the full review of Hainser’s Corner.

NFL Lockout and Free Agent Frenzy

C.R.E.A.MWu-Tang Clan

Well, unless you’ve been hiding under a rock over the last couple of days, you should know that the NFL is no longer in a lockout. Huge news for any football fan, great news for the players, and even better news for the owners. “Like the great WU-Tang taught us…Cash rules everything around me, C.R.E.A.M, get the money, dollar, dollar bill ya’ll.”, said Tim. Sid seconds that thought and goes on to say that the league was too smart to let this go. While it was a shitty thing to go through, everyone wasn’t surprised to see it end. $9 billion a year? That deal is getting signed. And now that the lockout is over, player movement has already begun:

Donovan McNabb
The first guy up for discussion was quarterback Donovan McNabb. McNabb was acquired by the Minnesota Vikings from the Washington Redskins for a 6th round pick in 2012, a conditional 6th round pick in 2013, and McNabb will also have to restructure his 5-year $78 million deal that he originally signed with the Redskins last year. “What a year a difference makes. McNabb was sent to the Vikings for basically a couple of hot pockets and a six pack of Sarasota.”, said Micallef. It’s true, the Redskins are pretty much getting nothing in return. For a QB that was so highly thought of last year, it’s funny how much difference a year makes. Sid weighs in, “So him getting that $70 million extension…that will go down as the most useless story of all time? What a fucking waste. Dan Snyder must be fuckin’ bored out of his mind.”

Kevin Kolb
The second player rumoured to be moving and discussed was the Philadelphia Eagles’ Kevin Kolb. The Eagles are doing everything they can to try and get a 1st round draft pick for the QB, but up until six minutes ago (10:35pm), no deal has been finalized. The Arizona Cardinals seem interested but no one’s pulled the trigger. Both Tim and Sid agree that Kolb is a good player and what happened to him in Philadelphia last year was a shame. Sid make a good point that what Michael Vick did last year though, by taking the starting job…only happens every 10 years. While Tim believes the price for Kolb might be a little high, Sid doesn’t seem to think so, “Kolb didn’t lose his job. Vick just took it.”

Matt Hasselbeck
Another QB on the move people! According to Tim and Sid, Hasselbeck, who played the last 10 seasons with the Seattle Seahawks and took them to the 2005 Super Bowl, has worked out a multi-year deal with the Titans. This move by the Titans also spells out the end of the Vince Young and Titans era. They both agree that after last season, there’s no way Young gets a starting job anytime soon. When you think about it, it’s also hard to believe that after all the success that Jeff Fisher and Vince Young had in the past, both are no longer with the team.

Sid goes off track for a second and asks the boys what The View’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck might think of her brother-in-law moving to Tennessee? It’s obvious that the boys agree with me in thinking that Elisabeth is nuts and Tim goes on to ask who is worse, Elisabeth Hasselbeck or Nancy Grace? For me personally, that’s like trying to pick a favourite child – both can be complete nut jobs. But according to Seixeiro, “There’s guys in the radio department, 7 beers in, that would give it a shot (regarding Nancy Grace). If Cam ran into Nancy Grace at a bar, he would try.” “Cam hates Nancy Grace with a burning passion.”, replied Bronsteter. “And that’s what he would have afterwords, a burning passion.”, cried Noon.

Tyler Thigpen

The Buffalo Bills have agreed to a three-year contract with free agent quarterback Tyler Thigpen. This news is pretty funny for all the guys and Tim brings up his tweet from the following night stating his thoughts on said signing.

Other notable signings include:
– Tarvaris Jackson going to the Seattle Seahawks
– Santonio Holmes re-signs with the New York Jets to a deal worth over $50 million. According to Tim, it’s one the biggest guarantees given to a wide receiver. Sid has a funny response, “He also was given one of Antonio Cromartie’s kids in the deal.”
– Matt Leinart reached a deal with the Houston Texans.

Interesting Facts From Pizzo’s Updates
1. Dan Patrick had one of the most awkward interviews with an athlete on Wednesday when retired NFL player Marshall Faulk appeared on the radio show. The suggestion of the possibility of Matt Hasselbeck succeeding as an NFL analyst seems to piss Faulk off for no apparent reason. You can check out the strange interview here.
2. The newest Oakland Raiderette is a GILF. Ol’ Susie Sanchez, 37 years young, had tried out for the cheerleading team in the past but was cut 4 different times. This year however, she finally made it. This is the second Grandmother to become a Raiderette, with the first one making the team in 2003.

3. In other stupid player news, that’s right…more players being stupid. NBA analyst Jalen Rose, and Oiler goaltender, Nikolai Khabibulin were both busted for DUI. Idiots. The funny part of this update was that no one was even paying attention to Pizzo. They were still too busy staring at photos of Susie Sanchez from update #2. “Jesus, she’s old. Oh my God…her tits are three years old, but she’s old.”, cried Sid.

Toronto Blue Jays and Alex Anthopoulos 
The second segment of the show began with discussion on the Toronto Blue Jays and the blockbuster deals that occurred between Toronto, Chicago, and St. Louis this afternoon. The deals look like this:

Toronto: received Colby Rasmus, Mark Teahen, Brian Tallet, Trever Miller, and P.J. Walters
St. Louis: received Corey Patterson, Marc Rzepczynski, Edwin Jackson, Octavio Dotel, and three players to be named later
Chicago: received Jason Frasor and Zach Stewart

This is a huge overhaul for the Blue Jays but it’s something that Anthopoulos has been wanting for awhile. The Blue Jays GM had tried several times in the past to secure Colby Rasmus but has never been able to pull it off. Rasmus was the key acquisition this afternoon and both Tim and Sid find him interesting to say the least. While he’s not producing huge numbers this season, he was ranked the 3rd best prospect in 2009. Sid weighs the positives and believes that him being 24 years of age, being signed through 2015, and having lots of major league games under his belt is a plus.

Jerry Meals and the 6 Hour Game
Time was running out for Tim and Sid but they did quickly discuss the recent 6 hour game that happened the night before between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Atlanta Braves. For a game to go on for so long and then end with a shitty call…it pretty much sucks. Umpire Jerry Meals did not see the tag made by Michael McKenry three feet in front of home plate and Atlanta went on to win the game 4-3 in 19 innings.

Rapid Fire
Unfortunately, Bronsteter didn’t have much time at all for his Rapid Fire and our boy didn’t even introduce the game. But it sounded like he was doing a little Either Or.
– The NFL is back in full swing and there are teams that need quarterbacks. Who would you rather have to start this season. Vince Young, Kevin Kolb, Kyle Orton, or Carson Palmer? As an Eagles fan, I’m going with Kolb. I wish him all the best in the future and it’s a shame he couldn’t remain backup. I’d rather him than the rumoured Favre.
– Which Week 1 season opener are you most excited to see. Packers vs. Saints or Steelers vs. Ravens? I’m in for the rivalry game…Steelers vs. Ravens…huge hits and legitimate hatred for one another.
– If you could bring back any cancelled television show for new episodes, which one would it be? Growing up I had a crush on Gillian Anderson. This is going to be a total geek answer but I have to go with the X-Files. Scully was hot.

Great show from the boys. I think by the time it aired, I was busting with anticipation. When you’ve doing reviews for these guys for the last three months, it’s hard to see them go on a hiatus. I do appreciate the support though from all the readers. Even when Tim and Sid: Uncut was off-air, people still checked out the blog on a regular basis and helped readership continue to sky rocket. I do this for theScore, Tim and Sid: Uncut, and especially the TimandSid-izens. First off, great intro. I can’t believe we began with a Hainser’s Corner…glad to see they got to the bottom of Hainser’s lies. The post-lockout discussion was entertaining – I’m guessing there will be much more trades and signing talk to come over the next couple of days. Pizzo brought some pretty good updates…he has done better in the past, but I think it was just the excitement of being on air again with Tim and Sid. Unfortunately the second segment seemed rush because of all the football talk, but it’s not the boys fault. This is only a 1 hour show and it’s hard to get all the sports and edu-tainment spaced in under 60 minutes. Good job by Bronsteter…pressed for time, he still was able to produce some nice Rapid Fire questions. A solid 9.5/10.

TimSidizen’s Updates: “Old Yeller” Favre, Sansone’s Tweet, Theismann’s Bacterial Infection, Lateral Movement, and Micallef’s Free Agency Frenzy

It’s Tuesday Tim and Sidizens, one day closer to Wednesday and a brand new, live episode of Tim and Sid: Uncut. But enough with the nice chat though – the BEST OF Tim and Sid: Uncut series was entertaining for awhile, but now I’m over it. I ready for Tim, Sid, Bronsteter, Noon, and Pizzo to show up tomorrow with guns a’ blazin’. We’ll finally get our hourly dosage of sports and edu-tainment from the doctors at theScore. So this will be the last entry for TimSidizen’s Updates for the next while as Pizzo will be back bringing random sports news to the masses.

1. Brett Favre will not go away. As reported over the weekend, rumours were circulating around the NFL that the Philadelphia Eagles were interested in signing the 41-year old QB. While the news seems to be more fiction than fact right now, Vick doesn’t help the rumours by tweeting “I would be honoured to have Brett Favre as a backup.” Either Vick really is happy about Favre joining the team, or he’s just letting Old Yeller know that he’s not starting. As an Eagles fan, this is not something I look forward too as I think Favre brings more distraction than play. Between the “Deciding whether to play last year” and “sex-ting incident”, his antics just got old after awhile. theScore’s Greg Sansone had a great tweet about the story.

Sansone won tweet of the day this past Sunday.

2. Still with the NFL, former quarterback and Super Bowl Champion, Joe Theismann has teamed up with SaniBrands to introduce a new mouth rinse designed for players who wear mouthguards. Theismann himself apparently caught a bacterial infection in 1971 after a game in Montreal, where he was sick for approximately three weeks.

3. Now that the NFL season is a go, bring on the Double Sessions, Two-A-Days, and Hell Week – some players are going to wish they stayed in shape. But not the Minnesota Vikings’ Bryant McKinnie…It seems that McKinnie has been working during the lockout and is poised to hit the field in top shape. According to TMZ, the Offensive Tackle has been training with the Williams’ Sisters (Venus and Serena). He goes on to tell TMZ that they’ve been helping him with his lateral movement and acceleration forwards and backwards. I bet they were helping him with his acceleration forwards and backwards. When McKinnie hits the field, it will be interesting to see if he actually paid attention to the drills or just the breasties.

4. It was reported yesterday that several NBA stars received $400,000 (tax free) to play in several exhibition games in the Philippines over the weekend. Kobe Bryant, along with Kevin Durant and Derrick Rose, received the serious coin for merely playing in 2 games and spending a hour or so before and after the game with media, fans, etc. Hypothetically, the trio probably worked 6 hours a day. That $400,000 breaks down to $200,000 a day or close to $33,333 an hour. I’m obviously in the wrong line of work.

5. With the NFL lockout officially over, I’d suggest checking out Tim Micallef’s take on the upcoming free agency frenzy. According to Tim, this will be the largest free agent class in history. #StraightCashHomie Click here to check out Micallef’s NFL Free Agency video.

Tim & Sid Meet Marty McFly

“In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth and after a week of doing shit, God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made. But on the 8th day, God realized the world was missing twitter and #realtalk; he ended up creating the Tim and Sid: Uncut show to fill the needs of those less fortunate and help those uneducated in edu-tainment.”  

I’ve had numerous requests from readers asking me to do reviews/write-ups on past episodes. One episode in particular that seemed to be on interest was the very first radio show/podcast every done by Tim and Sid. So, this little review is from the very first Tim and Sid: Uncut podcast that took place on Monday September 14, 2009. It’s a blast from the past that only McFly and his Delorean can help us with. Wow, what a change a couple of years make. It wasn’t even called Tim and Sid: Uncut at that time; different producers, no sound bytes, production value almost = 0. It’s pretty entertaining to listen to. Enjoy and reflect how “boys became teenagers” 😉 “Famous, Run that Bitch!”

……………oh wait, the show didn’t even have an official theme song at that time. It was using this little diddy below to introduce the show.

Tim and Sidizens, the very first podcast, was worked by Sid Seixeiro, Tim Micallef, and Sacha Kargl (I’m only guessing it’s him because the boys don’t say his last name). According to Sid,“We’re gonna talk about stuff. Sport stuff and other stuff. Just a lot of stuff.” Tim suggested that they might call the show 50 Minutes because 60 Minutes was already taken and they were going to let the fans decide if a 50 mintue podcast was long enough. Topics for the podcast included: Brett Favre, Drew Brees, Kanye West, Taylor Swift, Adrian Peterson, Michael Jordan, Jake Delhomme, Lady Gaga, Mark Sanchez, Gus Johnson, Brian Urlacher, Serena Williams, Little Momma, and the Immaculate Deflection.

The guys briefly began their very first podcast discussing the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards that took place the night before. Lots to talk about (most of it was saved until the end of show), but they briefly discussed the Little Momma incident. Near the end of Jay-Z’s and Alicia Key’s performance, Little Momma jumped onto the stage with the two and saddled up beside them both – giving the ol’ gangster, arms crossed look. The best part was that she wasn’t part of the act. “What the hell was she thinking?” Tim’s favorite part was Jay-Z’s and Key’s expressions. My favorite part that wasn’t talked about was Beyonce’s attempt to stop Little Momma in the first place.

Monday’s NFL Wrap-up
Being that it was week #1 yesterday, Tim and Sid immediately got into the story that was the NFL. According to Sid, “The story of week #1 was Mark Sanchez. For a rookie to go into Houston and do what he did, good stuff.” Everyone was getting down on him because his numbers were not outrageous, but the dude was 7 – for- 7 on third downs. Not bad for a rookie QB. The other story was Adrian Peterson and his monster game, “He’s an absolute PIMP. He’s the best player on Planet Earth.”, said Micallef. Sid summed it up best though in regards to Peterson’s performance,“He brought peace to the Middle East. A huge game for him in Week #1 and good afternoon for the Vikings. But I can’t wait for Favre to wake up and realize that he’s not the man.”

During this segment of the show, it was the first time I could hear Sid wanting to rant and trail off into other topics. During the discussion about football, he randomly mentioned how he almost got into an accident with a woman who looked as angry as Serena Williams at the U.S. Open. Plus, he saw District 9 over the weekend. Continue, please.

Follow Me on Twitter
Both the guys introduce their twitter accounts and suggest all the listeners to follow them. Tim is convinced that the only people that are actually going to listen to the show are those that follow them. “The Score is not going to pump this.”, said Tim. Boy were you wrong! Discussion then flowed into how much both of them love the re-tweets. The best thing is when someone retweets the retweeter, you know you got something special then.

Oh, Back to Football
Chatter flowed back in the NFL and up next on their list of topics were the Indianapolis Colts, Marvin Harrison, and Anthony Gonzalez. There was some debate about the receiver situation and how good the Colts actually are. Tim wants to know, “Where do you put them in the AFC?” Sid thinks it’s tough because “you know they’re going to win 10 or 11 games, but do you really put them in the Top 5 in that conference?” It’ll obviously depend on how Gonzalez matures.

Topic Slide / Gus Johnson
Tim a deep voice….”Topic sliiiiiiide.” There’s no production whatsoever so Tim does his own sound effects to introduce the next topic. According to Tim, “If fans don’t start supporting the show, they’ll have to start singing the show’s introduction.” The guys then get into a little discussion about Gus Johnson and his ability to always end up with an absolute gem whenever he announces a sporting event. This weekend was no different as he ended up with a complete dud (game), but then we get the Immaculate Deflection, and his dud turned into amazing.

Tim, “It’s like Gus has a horseshoe  in his ass. And during that game, he basically has an orgasm on the air.” Both agree that he needs to cover the Masters sometime in the future.

Another topic transition, “Yo, yo, yo, and away we go. Let’s go Sid.” (these are hilarious). There was some more football chat on whether or not Drew Brees is underrated? Sid says no, but his top QBs of choice right now are Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Ben Roethlsberger – they have W’s and championships. His play on Sunday was great, but it was against the Detroit Lions and that is to be expected. To end the football chatter, the guys finished off on how shitty Jake Delhomme looked, how great DeShawn Jackson was, and how amazing the Score mobile is. Download that app. on your BB or iPhone immediately.

Who’s Worse? and Shut Up!
A short segment involving Jake Delhomme and Lady Gaga. “She looked like a chicken” (at the VMA’s), Micallef said. “I can’t believe she went to the awards show looking like that. You can perform however you want to perform, but I’m not listening to ya, you jackass!” Sid doesn’t seem to mind how outrageous she is, but Tim obviously has hatred toward the gal. Another segment introduced here was Shut Up. The first person to ever receive the award was Kanye West for his interruption of Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech for best video. Tim threw done the short-lived segment, “Shut Up!”

Michael Jordan’s HOF Introduction
Tim, being the basketball guru he is, wanted to express his sentiments on how disappointed he was with the Michael Jordan HOF acceptance speech. In a time when he should be thanking people, Jordan was taking shots at people, especially Byron Russell. Tim thinks he should of just said thank you and moved on. He forgot about Phil Jackson, Dean Smith, Pippen, etc. According to Tim, “He used the stage to further Michael Jordan and nobody else. He should have used the platform given to him differently.”

The Big Finale
Tim discussed a little bit about the recent Western and Laurier football game. He felt Western looked really impressive and was probably going to win the Yates Cup. In Amercian College football, he was pleased to see the rivalry between Michigan and Notre Dame heat up again. And in the tennis world, Serena Williams spazzed out during the U.S. Open and told a line judge, who called a foot fault, that she was going to shove the ball down her throat. During this debate, Sid was convinced that the line judge had reason to be scared while Tim felt it was all an act and there was no reason for the line judge to have felt threatened. Best line during this whole debate came from Tim, “Make your point and then I’m going to crush you.”

And that was it Tim and Sidizens, Sid finished up with a “Seacrest Out” and Semisonic’s Closing Time was played to sound off the podcast.

Wow, what a difference 2 years make. No production, no sound bytes, no chatter with the producer(s), no official title, and no set-in-stone segments. But do you know what? I thought it was fucking awesome. It really felt like two dudes just sitting around and shooting the shit – talking about everything from sports, to music, to the weekend’s events. No wonder this thing blew up and became so popular. There did seem be a lot more topics thrown into the show, but at the same time, the guys weren’t able to spend great lengths discussing each one. The format they have set up now is perfect. Good podcast, great chatter, and for nostalgia reasons….10/10

Hainser’s Corner & Skeletor

“The Canucks bury the Preds, Miami is about to bury the Celtics, while Twitter continues to bury careers?….yikes.” It appears to be a good line-up for Tuesday’s show. Some of the topics on Sid’s list include: Ryan Kesler, Twitter, L.A Lakers, Rondo’s elbow, Hainser, Arnold “The Terminator”, Sean Avery, and Fatigue.

BREAKING NEWS! Sid Seixeiro is tired – he is feeling fatigued. Poor bastard had to walk to work today, his anger towards having a little bit of exercise tells me #SidDon’tDoDiets. It took him an hour and a half to make it to the building and by 4pm this afternoon, he sounds like he’s looking for the couch. But like the trooper he is, he’ll prevail. The reason for Sid’s little hike is due to the increasing gas prices. According to Sid, “Southern Ontario is getting hammered with the rising costs of gas. The rumour is that it’s going to hit $1.40 / litre at midnight this evening.” Sid doesn’t understand why – “They killed every dictator in the world. You’re raising gas prices due to the rivers rising in Mississippi? Get the fuck out of here!”. Either way, Sid is broke and cheap – he won’t be paying for gas at this price. Have fun with the afternoon hikes then Sid, it doesn’t look like it’s going to decrease anytime soon. The little oil/gas talk was followed by Sid’s current weed problem; it has now doubled since yesterday. He loved the suggestions given by listeners through twitter, but he’s pretty sure that the salt suggestion isn’t going to do anything but kill his grass – thanks anyways.

Once Sid got his complaints out of the way, he started in on the NBA playoffs – in particular, the MIA/BOS series. He figures that game 4 was monumental for the Miami Heat. Basically, if the Heat win the Championship, Sid feels that what happened in game 4 last night (OT win over BOS – 35 pts. by James and a huge bucket by Bosh) could be the defining moment of the season for the team. Sid was impressed that both Bosh and James, who’ve had terrible games in the past at TD building, actually showed up – even after getting pounded by the media. This should bode well for both of them psychologically. Miami is now up 3 – 1 in the series. We all know Sid will rip anyone if they deserve it, but for their effort in game 4, Sid says he gives the guys credit.

Matt Sekeres and the Vancouver Canucks
Sid’s first guest was the Globe and Mail’s sports correspondent, Matt Sekeres. Sekeres covers the Vancouver Canucks and both guys immediately got into the Canucks game 6 win the night before. The Vancouver Canucks came through, not just for the fans, but all off Canada – they’re the last Canadian team left in the NHL playoffs. Sid asked Sekeres his thoughts on the Nashville hockey team and their fans. He’s tired of hearing all this bullshit in the media about how amazing the Nashville market is (If I remember correctly, Kevin Weekes was mouthing off how awesome it was down there on his last visit to the show). Matt was down there for games 3 and 4, but opted to stay home for game 6. Apparently, when Sekeres was down there, scalpers had tickets as thick as phone books for sale, ranging from $25 – $125. Sekeres said, “Nashville is definitely not a great hockey town if the best ticket available in the second round only goes for $125.” But Matt does give them credit for getting a small following – they are doing better than Phoenix and Atlanta. Sid followed up asking Matt who he thought Canuck nation would like to see in the next round? Sekeres thinks that most people would say Detroit because they’re beaten up and going through injuries, but there’s also a strong case for San Jose. One, being in the same time zone is a bonus, and two, Detroit has a bunch of guys that have been there before (finals, cups) and San Jose would be a team on a similar level to that of Vancouver. There was also some question about Henrik Sedin and his recent play. There are rumours that he’s injured and from what Sekeres can tell us, that may be the case. He was late for media the other day because he was in the trainer’s room; nothings confirmed, but something could be there. The boys also talked a little about unsung heroes for the Canucks – several names thrown out included: Luongo, Bieksa, Hamhuis, Burrows, and Higgins.

Something that pissed both Sid and Matt off was in regards to the upcoming televised Western Conference Finals. It’s looks like NBC has the NHL by the balls and are calling the shots – no Saturday game. I repeat, a Canadian team in the Western Conference Finals and there is no Saturday game. Hello Sunday? No one is paying attention to Canada’s tradition – that’s right NHL, let’s keep pumping a demographic that are not interested in hockey. Once the interview finished up, Seixeiro wanted to tell a little story before Pizzo’s update. Over the weekend, after attending a Mother’s Day function, Sid came home, plunked on the couch and tuned into some Score highlights. As he was drifting in and out of sleep, he heard fellow employee Andy Baechler’s voice voicing highlights of the Chicago Cubs pack….“as he’s rounding the bases, he stumbles around like Sid Seixeiro after the Score’s Summer Party.” BOOYAA! Funny part was that Sid hasn’t been to a Score party in about 4 years and he spent the rest of the night putting out the fire with his wife (she was in the room during the highlight pack).

Interesting Facts Pizzo’s Update
1. It’s been reported that Yankees Owner George Steinbrenner was an FBI Informant. George assisted the government in a terrorism investigation.
2. It looks like the Gotti film is going to happen and it seems that Al Pacino is involved. Sid mentioned that Martin Scorsese was directing the film, but in a recent article, the film is actually being directed by Barry Levinson. The film will also star Lindsay Lohan, Joe Pesci, and Kelly Preston.
3. Cheerleader Gabriella  Pasqualotto, once employed by the Mumbai Indians, was recently sent home because she blogged about how players in the organization flirted with the girls and treated them like pieces of meat. Full details here. One of her posts included, “The men see your face, then your boobs, then your ass, then your boobs again, Ol’ Graeme Smith
 will flirt with anyone while his girlfriend walks behind him. The Australian cricketers are naughty, a certain someone played kissing catches with three girls. He told them, ‘Come to my room, I want to cuddle.” 

4. Jimmy Johnson was named Forbes most influential athlete today. Wow! Nascar has a huge following.

After Pizzo’s update, the guys randomly began discussion of having a Tim and Sid: Uncut golf tournament. Horns if you get a birdie (my guess is Noon would rather horns over a BMW) and speakers everywhere spitting out Bronsteter’s rolodex of sound bytes. They threw out some names such as The TS Open and The Real Talk Open; my suggestion is shown above.

The Los Angeles Lakers
Sid got into a little chat about the Lakers. According to Sid, “Any Laker fan who is getting on this team is a fucking moron. Appreciate what you had.” He believes Kobe will be happy with the past couple of years and his title wins without Shaq. He did discuss a little bit about Magic Johnson’s comments of blowing up the team. The way he looks at it, “unless they’re trading, they’re not blowing up anything.” Blake, Artest, Kobe, and Pau still have their contracts for a couple of more years. The only ones really available are Matt Barnes and Shannon Brown – so unless the Lakers are making deals, they don’t have many more options.

Hainser’s Corner
* See “Hainser’s Corner” at the top of the Home Page.

Rapid Fire
Bronsteter had a solid rapid fire for us this afternoon. He decided to go with the game “Either OR”. Since Tim was absent, Noon filled in on some of the questions.
Heads or Tails? Sid picked heads and Noon said it depends where he is at the time. I’m a Tails guy.
– Scrambled or Sunnyside up? Both Sid and Noon picked scrambled. I’m not an egg person. The closest thing I get to a scrambled egg is French Toast.
– The NBA draft or NFL draft? The NBA draft definitely. The players picked in this draft actually mean something. The guys in the NFL? Could take awhile before they play or make an impact.
Pen or Pencil? Sid goes with the pen. He’s a decisive person. I choose pencil, you can erase shit.
Rain or Snow? Sid says rain, I choose a big dump of snow.

Good rebound show from yesterday. Maybe being the first day without Tim or just a long lethargic weekend. The interview with Matt Sekeres was great and I enjoyed his view on the Nashville Predators and their so-called market. Great new segment with Hainser! I had a hard time keeping a straight face. Awesome day 9.5/10.