Uncle Timmy Is Back In-studio, Harris Finds A Monstrosity, Fedor = Jordan, & Noon Interviews Tiger Woods

“Goodell and Dee Smith have settled their differences.
Sean Avery seems a tad unsettled.
And Micallef’s stomach, we think, has finally settled.
(Tim: Kinda)
(Sid: Cheers to you Pepto Bismol)
(Tim: Kinda, Gravol)
(Sid: How ya feelin’? I guess we’ll get to that)
Famous run that bitch!”

BREAKING NEWS!
Attention! Attention TimandSid-izens. Before Tim and Sid even announce the topics to be discussed or ignored, Bronsteter rings in the popular Breaking News soundbite. It appears that Tim Micallef did not have food poisoning. I repeat – Tim Micallef did not have food poisoning. While Tim “had a tender No. 5 of the Cardinals”, he’s not entirely sure it was the chicken souvlaki after all. Usually, if you get food poisoning, it will run through your system within 24-hrs but what Tim seemed to have lasted for almost 72-hrs. There’s reports that a three day flu is going around and there’s a possibility that’s what Uncle Timmy picked up. Sid, however, heard there was a measles and mumps outbreak in the GTA and suggests that Tim has “ass mumps.” “It’s the cocaine of sickness if you will.” cries out Noon. And seeing as Tim blamed chicken souvlaki, he apologizes to Greece, Rony Seikaly, Alex Anthopoulos, “The fat chick who wrote My Big Fat Greek Wedding“, etc.

But back to the topic on hand…welcome to Friday’s review of Tim and Sid: Uncut for August 5th, 2011. Noon, Tim, Sid, and Bronsteter are all available for your sports & edu-tainment needs, while Pizzo visits the donkey show in Mexico during his brother’s wedding. Topics up for discussion on this episode included: LaMarr Woodley, Sean Avery, Canton, OHIO, Steve Williams, Horses, Roger Goodell, Anthony Calvillo, D-Wade, Brett Lawrie, and Tim Micallef.

Random Tidbits
Before the guys began actual discussion on anything, they bounce around numerous topics that seem to pop to their heads.
1. There’s a horse story involving Mauro Ranallo and Tim and Sid decide they’ll wait for “Mr. Yo, Yo, Yo, and away we Go” to come on to talk about it.
2. The reason Mauro Ranallo will be on during the second segment is because he’s talking with Dana White later this evening.
3. According to Sid, Tim sounds much better than he did earlier in the week. “You sounded like death.” said Sid.
4. Tim kind of thought that Bronsteter’s fart noises were a bit much on Tuesday. Sid pretends that he had nothing to do with it. “Come on Bronsteter, you put the “F” in professional” but then goes on to say “Bronsteter found the first 10 effects and Noon found the next 14. It was a group effort.” 

Canada’s 2014 World Cup Qualifiers & Amateur Sports
The first topic brought up today was by Uncle Timmy. He missed the last couple of days and wanted to bring up Sid’s Canada soccer rant from yesterday pleading listeners to go support Team Canada at BMO Field. According to Sid, the backstory of why he did the rant was because theScore‘s Joe Ross and Kristian Jack had tweeted earlier in the day that tickets for Canada’s qualifiers were going on sale this upcoming Monday. The tweets got Sid thinking that near the end of Thursday’s show, he’d mention it as well to the TimandSid-izens and it ended up being something else. Sid said he was taken aback by all the positive feedback and didn’t realize that he’d get such a reception. I second that feedback because the comments coming through the blog were positive and everyone was giving Sid huge thumbs up for supporting the team.

Since Canada soccer was up for discussion, Tim also went on to throw out that news that Canada Basketball also had games coming up and he urged everyone to go watch them. A big pet peeve from the guys (i.e. Jack, Micallef, Seixeiro, Ross, Noon, and Bronsteter) is that “20,000 people will show up at BMO Field for a TFC game, but 4,000 people will show up for a Canada soccer game…it doesn’t make sense. One excuse is that you might not about about it.” said Tim. He also goes on to say, “10,000 people will go to Scotiabank Centre to watch a Carleton and Ottawa match-up, but when the national team plays at the ACC, 2,500 will show up. And that’s generous.” So according to Tim, the next time a sport is being played or is coming out in this country, Tim and Sid: Uncut are going to let you know about it in order to get fans out there. Noon then goes on to mention that there’s also a men’s Canada rugby game coming up as well at BMO Field – it’s all about getting people out there supporting amateur sports in Canada.

Fellatio Tweet From A TimandSid-izen
During Tim and Sid’s discussion on amateur sports in Canada, Bronsteter read out the following tweet from a long time listener and TimandSid-izen:

“Hey honey, Micallef is talking about Canada Basketball. Lick my balls.” said Sid. The guys are all laughing at this tweet and find it hard to believe that it’s actually happening – they want someone to confirm the tweet/act. Sid goes on to say, “In summary, two horns on today’s show. One to Rugby Canada and another one to the guy who’s getting head while listening to Tim and Sid: Uncut.”

Orville’s Tweet Statistic On Greg Sansone 
After the random tweet from TimandSid-izen Shane, Tim brings up the recent tweet from producer Aaron Bronsteter the day before. As you might already know, over the last few weeks, Sid and Tim tend to bring up Greg Sansone’s Tweet Of The Day. The V.P. of theScore‘s Television Network has been participating big time in tweet world lately and he usually brings his best stuff. The tweet from Bronsteter earlier in the day was as follows:

Tim goes on to give Bronsteter props for finding that brilliant statistic and we find out that Aaron actually counted the number of tweets for the month of July and divided it by Greg’s total number of tweets. Pretty solid work from him – he should be getting horns. But while Tim is giving Bronsteter credit, he also questions the particular lineup sheet Aaron gave the boys prior to the show. “Anthony Calvillo breaks the record for completions in last night’s Al’s win over the Argos. No numbers, no stats, no nada.” says Tim. While Tim was searching for stats on google for Doug Flutie and Warren Moon to compare Calvillo’s new record, Bronsteter was counting Sansone’s tweets. “It shows I care more about Sansone than the CFL.” replied Aaron.

Cry Me A River Steve Williams
From the world of golf, Tim and Sid chatted a little bit about the Bridgestone Invitational that’s taking place this weekend. One of the stories to come out revolves around Tiger Woods and his ex-caddie, Steve Williams. To get you up-to-date, several weeks ago, Woods “let go” or “fired” Williams , his caddie for the last decade. The twist? Williams now caddies for Adam Scott who is currently leading the tournament. Williams is on record for saying that “he wasted two years of his life” with Woods, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da, and Sid ain’t buying it or feeling any compassion what-so-ever. “Whatever happened to Steve “fuckin'” Williams, I’m fine with…Let’s all leave naive-ville for a moment…don’t give me the victim routine. Just don’t.”

Believe it or not though, our very own John Noon was actually at Akron, OHIO this weekend and snagged a quick one-on-one with Tiger Woods for his take on the story. However, Woods seemed to side-step the Williams debate and the interview took a surprising route.

Noon’s one-on-one with Tiger Williams

Carol Confirms The Monstrosity
Before Updates, Tim and Sid quickly bring up a story that developed earlier in the day – one of great importance. Camera Operator for theScore, Ryan Harris sent the following email to everybody in the building:

Sid goes on to say though that this is the same camera guy who sent an email over a month ago to everyone trying to sell one Sade ticket at face value; “He’s just a shady fuckin’ guy. A shady guy.” said Sid. The funny part of the story though? theScore‘s office manager & accounts receivable, a little nice English lady, Carol Park, followed up with another email and said, “Oh my word. Yes, it is a monstrosity.” While Tim’s not trying to disparage Carol’s email in anyway, he just found it funny that she responded to Harris’ email and confirmed said clog. Poor Carol. “That’s why men go home to poop.” cries Tim.

Interesting Facts From “Jack of All-Trades”, Dave Coulson
1. In an operation called “Iron Snare,” police sent out letters to parents who owed child support declaring they had won tickets to the 2011 Iron Bowl game between Auburn and Alabama. The deadbeat dads and moms arrived at a site showing highlights of last year’s game. Told they needed to bring the letter and photo ID, the suspects were then cuffed one-by-one for a total of $270,000 in unpaid child support. According to a report, 10 people showed up to try and claim their free tickets.

2. NBA basketball players were having a game in a New York City park with a huge crowd of fans watching. One fan had a screaming match with Michael Beasley and really got under his skin. Beasley yelled back, and finally walked up to him and pushed him in the face. Coulson actually contacted Nike who were filming the event and they sent him the actual footage of what went down.


But if you want to see what really went down, click the following link here.

3. After beating Major League Baseball at its own Beat The Streak challenge, Stephen Colbert was granted the right to take over the MLB twitter account for 24 hours. Some highlights from Colbert’s tweets included:

Mauro Ranallo Joins Tim and Sid: Uncut For Some Horse Meat Discussion
For the second segment of the show, Tim and Sid brought in Mr. Crazy himself, MMA fanatic, theScore‘s Mauro Ranallo. “Mauro Ranallo has been in this studio for 38-seconds and he will not shut the fuck up. Tim and I can’t get a word in edge-wise.” cried Sid. “You’re a thoroughbred Ranallo.” Before the guys get into any UFC and MMA discussion, I bring you back to the beginning of today’s review regarding horse meat. This past Wednesday, Ranallo was on theScore’s BET Night Live and two stories emerged from that night.

1. Ranallo raised nearly $600 for the Cancer Society
2. During his opening monologue BET Night Live, he mentioned horse meat

“Do you think on a horse-racing show talking about horse meat is appropriate?” asked Sid. “Yeah, yeah. It ties into what I’m interested it…It ties into the equine industry…I have Alistair Overeem who eats horse meat.” replies Ranallo. At this stage I’m busting a gut because it’s one of the funniest things I’ve heard on this show in awhile. Ranallo attempts to justify his answer by saying that some people might not like how the horses are treated – but he does admit that he did it on purpose to create a story. But Sid compares it to “this is the equivalent of saying TLC, or TLC running a slate saying “Welcome to Kate Plus 8″ brought to you by ground infant.” The room blows up! “What the hell was that?”, cries Ranallo.

BREAKING NEWS DUE TO ADD! 
1. It looks like the rent was TOO HIGH. Jimmy McMillan has been evicted from his house.
2. Mauro Ranallo brings up the best body story from yesterday. Ranallo thinks Mirren has a hot body, “Helen Mirren? I think she’s sexy.” said Ranallo.
3. Tim can’t believe that Jersey Shore 4 was trending.

Mauro Ranallo, Michael Jordan, and Fedor
Finally the boys get into some discussion on the the MMA and the upcoming UFC 133. First item on the table was the recent tweet from Dana White in response to a comment by our very own Mauro Ranallo.

What was lost in translation though was that Ranallo was comparing Fedor to the Michael Jordan of the Washington Wizards; not the Michael Jordan of the Chicago Bulls. Ranallo says that he stands by this comparison because Fedor was an undersized fighter, went 32-0 (not including the no contest/illegal elbow strike), and didn’t lose for nearly a decade – with most of those victories coming in the first five minutes. And at that time, Mauro still believes that Fedor fought for the greatest promotion and the reason that White disagrees with the comparison to MJ is because he never promoted one of Fedor’s fights. “If I (referring to Dana White) didn’t create you. You don’t exist.” says Ranallo.

Sid goes on to ask Mauro whether or not he legally works for Dana White now? Even though the UFC sucked up Strikefore, Ranallo responds by saying that he works for theScore and Showtime. He’s lucky to be able to wear a reporter’s hat for theScore and a commentator’s hat for Showtime. He’s not scared of making comments like those above; Dana White likes him, Joe Rogan likes him, and he has no worries of speaking his mind. He still stands by his comment and the comparison between the two athletes. Ranallo then goes on to say that he’s just disappointed because he feels that true MMA fans were cheated by not seeing Fedor get in a UFC ring. Like many other North American fans, Mauro will never see him in the UFC. Tim brings up a good point here and questions whether or not White never brought in Fedor because he was protecting his guys (i.e. Brock Lesnar and Randy Couture). Unfortunately, time was running out and Ranallo throws out a quick pick for Saturday’s UFC 133: He’s taking Evans over Ortiz.

Rapid Fire
The last time Mauro was in-studio with Tim and Sid: Uncut, he stayed for Rapid Fire with Tim and it was gold. The “horse meat” lover brought some solid answers and this time he decided to stay around again.
1. Fantasy football drafts are coming up. Who would you take in the first overall pick? I’m already going with Michael Vick. However, there’s a few bodies in my pool and getting the first pick will be tough.
2. Merril Hodge ripped into Tim Tebow recently. Who do you think is the worst starting quarterback this year? If Jimmy Clausen starts for the Panthers (I know Cam Newton is there, but Carolina hasn’t started a rookie QB since Weinke in 2001) it could spell utter chaos.
3. The Change opens this weekend in theatres. If you could change lives with someone for one day, who would it be? Mauro throws out the best/strangest answer to a Rapid Fire question in ages. “I would want to be Monica Lewinsky’s dress.” At first there’s silence, and then gasps of WTFs all around. “AND BOOM GOES THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ DYNAMITE.” screams Ranallo as he leaves the booth. “That’s the most inappropriate thing that has ever been said on this show.” Bronsteter is not even going to do his Things We’ve Learned This Week because Ranallo just answered them all, Mauro had a huge week: Horse Meat, Monica Lewinsky’s Dress, and his Dana White Interview.

What a huge Tim and Sid: Uncut Friday! It took me this long just to get it out because the guys discussed so many topics and I wanted to make sure I wrote a good, lengthy review of the show without having to sacrifice any of the good stuff. In order to appease the masses, I’m going to do up these kind of reviews during the weekends and during the weekdays, just focus on the important stuff. Seeing as this is still a hobby, a boy needs a break every now and then. So either way, look for big ones like this for Friday’s shows.

Where to start? First off, it was great to have Tim back in the studio. The show always works best when the boys work together – they really have a great chemistry with one another. I loved the discussion on amateur sports in Canada and I agree with Tim whole-heartedly that the support behind those athletes and the sport is sometimes lacking. Funny, random highlights of the first segment included Bronsteter’s Sansone Stat and Noon’s Tiger Woods interview – solid effort by both guys. Dave Coulson stopped snorting crack for a second and delivered a pretty good Update in replace of Pizzo. But hands down, the winner of today on the show was Mauro Ranallo. This guy is completely nuts and he always gets a good reaction from the TimandSid-izens. I can only imagine what it’s like to meet this guy in person. From horse meat, to Lewinsky’s dress, to Michael Jordan comparisons, the last half of the show was amazing. For delivering a screeching “BOOM GOES THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ DYNAMITE”, today’s show gets a 10/10.

UFC Prez, Dana White…Take 2

 

Great news today Tim and Sidizens!. Tim and Sid: Uncut will be attempting to speak with UFC President, Dana White again. Unfortunately, the show was unable to connect with him earlier in the week, but it looks like it will be happening this afternoon. What a way to end the long work week.

“It’s going to be an awesome fuckin’ afternoon.”

Remember to tune into the Score on SIRIUS Radio at 4 PM ET on Channel 158.

UFC President, Dana White…

Great news today Tim and Sidizens about tomorrow’s show. Tim and Sid: Uncut will be speaking with UFC President, Dana White. Love or hate the guy, he’s one of the main reasons why the UFC has reached it’s level of status since he was installed as its president by owners Frank and Lorenzo Fertitta. It’s only Tuesday and Tim’s talked with Stephen A. Smith, Scoop Jackson, and now White. As Dana would say, “It’s going to be an awesome fuckin’ afternoon.”

Remember to tune in tomorrow at 4 PM ET on SIRIUS Channel 158.

Ariel Helwani & Abbottabad Porn


“The Sharks are in seventh heaven, Tiger’s career is buried in purgatory, and before going to hell, Bin Laden masturbated to porn…..seriously, he masturbated to porn. Famous rub out that, I mean, run that bitch.” Oh god, this show never ceases to make me laugh. Just when you think an intro. couldn’t get any better it does. It’s Friday Tim and Sidizens, meaning it’s the last day of the work week for most us. Thank you God (or whoever you pray to). Some topics for Friday include: Patrick Marleau, Ashton Kutcher, Carlos Boozer, J.R., Kevin Durant, Sid’s Statute, Brock Lesnar, Tiger Woods, and Osama Bin Laden. This is Sid’s last day of his first week hosting the Tim and Sid: Uncut radio show alone. I’m sure he’ll go out with a “bang” today 😉

For most of the last two weeks, the show has included everyone’s favourite topic from hell, Osama Bin Laden. And just when Sid thought talking about Bin Laden was over, more news came out today that had to be discussed. Like Sid said, “It’s the gift that keeps on giving.” And until that material stops, we have to talk about that fucker. In today’s news, Reuters released breaking news that said that an exclusive pornography stash was found in Bin Laden’s hideout by U.S Commandos. The stash of porn was “fairly extensive.” Seixeiro, “So Bin Laden’s not in a cave running, he’s in his compound, built by Pakistan FIFA, watching porn on his 4″ television.” Tim and Sidizens can appreciate the fact that Sid, Bronsteter, and Noon are going to milk some funnies out of this topic today. Introducing, What are some of the titles found in Bin Laden’s Porn Stash? game. Huge comedy in this segment. Some of the suggestions were:
– Abbottabad Goat Milk Squirters Part 12 – Noon
– The Martyr’s 200 Virgins – Bronsteter
– Knock, Knock, Who’s There? 72 Virigins: Anal al-Qaeda – Seixeiro
– All Ankle Access – Noon
– Navy Seals: Team 69 – Seixeiro
I think the big thing to come from all of this is the fact that Bin Laden had 6 wives to bang and do what he wanted with. But instead, “The most dangerous guy in the world was masturbating to porn.” At this time, Pizzo stepped in with a good line, “Did you hear that he took a shot to the face?”

The Sharks Final Bite of the Red Wings
Once the boys had finished discussing their favourite porn titles, Sid jumped into one of the bigger topics of the day. On Thursday, the San Jose Sharks defeated the Detroit Red Wings to end the 7 game series in victorious fashion. Sid felt this series was pretty interesting to watch, especially how it all played out. SJS went up 3 – 0, then lost three games straight, then battled out a 7th game win. Like Sid said, “Everyone was expecting San Jose to have an epic collapse.” But the story that was talked about in this segment was the comments made on Patrick Marleau by Jeremy Roenick. As you’re all aware, after game 5, Roenick called Marleau “gutless” for not having a good series. Sid felt this wasn’t just ripping a player on bad play, it was a personal attack. Instead of commenting on the insult, Marleau responded by scoring the game winner in game 7 and propelling the Sharks into the Western Conference Finals. This is where Sid took exception and you could tell he was a little pissed. According to Seixeiro, when broadcasters are wrong, it’s important to come forward and acknowledge their mistake – whether they do it on their own or are pushed by someone (i.e. the employer). But what does Roenick do after game 7? Check out his comments below.

He calls it “tough love” and comes across as though he was pushed Marleau into being the player he knows he can be. “No, no, no. Don’t play that card. Don’t play the – well, I know how good you are and I was just giving you a push. Bullshit! That’s weak, it’s borderline gutless. No way were J.R’s comments used to motivate the kid. You look like a fool Roenick. A fool. Just say you’re wrong.” said Seixeiro. I was excited big time for Marleau after game 7, even more so because of the comments made by Roenick. I just think Roenick was being a douche and ripping a guy because it was fun.

My Friends Call Me Jacks
Huge surprise for Tim and Sidizens today. I actually rolled over laughing when I heard Sid introduce Jason Jackson, broadcaster for the Miami Heat, as his first guest. If you remember, the guys have been ripping on Jackson and his NBA Fan Conduct video lately. It’s a real gem and has become a sound byte from time to time for Bronsteter. I’ve added the video to the Nooner and Bronsteter Bytes section on the home page. Sid got right into discussion of the Miami Heat and the Eastern Conference Finals. According to Jacks, the Heat at practice today were both serious and loose. The players were having 3-point contests, playing knock-outs, and just looking relaxed. There was a little conversation about Spoelstra and the fact that he’s a new coach. Sid asked if he will be well prepared for the Eastern Conference Finals?Jacks felt that Erik will be ready to step up – he’s always looking for excellence and what has amazed Jacks the most about him is the coach’s demeanor. Whether it’s a 20 point win or a 1 point loss, Spoelstra has the same approach all the time. The man is easy and breezy either way it goes. Sid followed up with a great question regarding all the player movement that happened prior to the 2010-11 season. As any NBA fan is aware, last year, there were rumours that James and Wade would head to the Chicago Bulls. Obviously that didn’t happen and Sid wondered if the series could get personal? (there were some words thrown back and forth when both James and Wade didn’t end up with the Bulls) Jacks thinks it might be personal early on, but believes the players will bring it back basketball in the end and push all the other stuff out of the way. Conversation then flowed into the story of Bosh vs. Boozer. Boozer recently made the comment, “The Heat have 2 good players.”, snubbing Bosh of course. Jacks just thinks this is a veteran move, someone trying to get inside the head of his opponent. He believes Chris will have a good series and is ready for his first trip to the Eastern Conference Finals. Sid asks Jacks how many games he sees this series going? Jason sounded convinced that Miami will take it in 6. He thinks the Heat are surging, while the Bulls are on their heels a bit, “they’ve had to work a lot harder to get here.” Good interview with Jason Jackson but it’s clear that he’s as biased as they come. Whenever Sid asked about the series, it seemed that Jackson could only really give shout-outs to the Heat. I don’t blame the guy I guess, he was fired from ESPN in 2002 for violating company policy – something about sexual harassment. Being loyal to his employer is probably #1 in his to do list”.

After the chat with Jason Jackson, Bronsteter threw out a good question and asked Sid if he thought the ratings for the Eastern Conference Finals will be better than the NBA Finals (especially with all the players involved)? Sid didn’t quite agree, “I see where you’re going though, but I think you’re so fucking wrong, it’s unbelievable.” Love when Sid debates 😛

Broken Wings and Pizzo’s Updates
Before Pizzo could begin his update, he wanted to mourn a little about the fact that his beloved Red Wings were ousted in the NHL Playoffs. He is a huge fan of the Red Wings and was kind of pissed that they got the boot in game 7 rather than game 4. Something that also ticked him off was the fact that during the final 30 seconds of the game, down 1 goal, and on the verge of losing – Detroit’s two best players Zetterberg and Datsyuk were sitting on the bench. “Doesn’t make sense, doesn’t make any sense at all.”
1. Sir Alex Ferguson from Manchester United is being fined for positive comments. He recently said, prior to a game, “we’re getting the best referee, no doubt about that.” In an age where athletes and management are always getting fined for cursing out refs, we have one getting fined for being nice. But hey, I’m sure Alex was actually trying to get on the good side of the ref. Always thinking he is.
2. Think getting hit in the nuts is a bad thing? Well for Taylor Statham, it was positive. The kid got kneed in the balls during practice and eventually had to go to the doctor due to pain. Anyways, it was discovered that he had testicular cancer and it had to be operated on. The surgery was a success and Taylor is now cancer free. Wowzers, check your balls boys.
3. Recently, Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots, autographed a football for charity. the funny part? Instead of merely writing his name, Belichick adds the S.B. 36, 38, 39 (Superbowl Champions) to the second line. WOW. Pizzo calls this completely CUT, but Sid thinks it’s UNCUT – nothing wrong with showing your resume. 

MMA’s Ariel Helwani
This is when I love the show the most – fantastic guests. First Jacks, and now Canadian MMA Journalist, Ariel Helwani. If anyone is aware of MMA and the UFC, you’ve heard of Ariel. With all the recent injuries that are taking place in the UFC, it was appropriate to have him on the air. Sid’s first question was actually about those said injuries – Lesnar, Jones, Edgar, and Maynard. Is the UFC cursed? Helwani truly believes that this is a bad time right now. Players are going down and it is going to be interesting to see how the next PPV goes. To follow up with that, Sid wondered when or if Ariel caught wind of Brock’s injury update prior to the announcement. Ariel said that he did hear something about 3 or 4 days ago and that it might involve Brock backing out of the fight, but didn’t expect the news to be so bad. He understands that this was a huge blow to Vancouver, especially since they haven’t sold out yet. And that main card fight was huge for UFC 131.

Around this time, Sid had to hang up with Helwani because the connection was the shits. Like the guys said, the phone sounded something like morse code, similar to those amazing Canadian Heritage moments ads.

Connection! Noon and Bronsteter were able to get Ariel back online and we were back in business. With regards to the injuries, Sid asked whether or not the UFC can do something to make this up to fans? Ariel doesn’t think there’s a whole lot more that it can do. They’re showing pre-show fights on Spike, airing them on Facebook, and at times, the main card isn’t always the most exciting. Take the UFC 129 card, the Hominick fight was clearly the best fight of the night. There was also some follow-up to Lesnar’s injury and whether or not he will retire. Helwani is not so sure that it’s actually up to him. Diverticulitis is serious shit and could actually take him out of the sport. It’s not only Brock’s decision, but also his family’s, doctors, and the outcome of the surgeries.

Rapid Fire
Rapid Fire was pretty short today as the interviews with both Jacks and Helwani ran a little long. However, Bronsteter came through in fine fashion. First, like all Fridays, Aaron did a run through of the things Tim and Sidizens learned this week. They include:
– Bin Laden likes porn
– The UFC is cursed
– Ariel Helwani communicates using morse code
– It’s Friday the 13th
– Sid is more afraid of Twitter
– Sid’s Statute is as accurate as Lawlor’s Law
– Hainser thinks tornados are one of the most deadliest storms

And to end the show:
Which item do you own would piss you off most if you found out that your wife auctioned it off? Sid’s answer included Ketchup Chips; he’s Slingbox would be a close second. I think if M.K auctioned off my Thornley Drum Skin, I might be a little peeved; well a lot peeved.

Well, the Tim and Sid: Uncut show ended on a huge note. You couldn’t of written the Osama/porn segment any better and the Jason Jackson interview was pretty good. A huge surprise to have Ariel Helwani on the show. I love following this guy and he really does a great job at bringing MMA to the people/fans. He’s the best in the business. Hands down, best show of the week – Sid, Bronsteter, and Noon, you ended this week’s show with a 10/10. Horns for all you bitches!


Ron Swanson vs. Ben Chang


“….Rashard Mendenhall loses a sponsor, and John Noon has Chlamydia.” (the headlines prior to the theme song was cut short when transferred to the podcast – however Noon’s current plight was really the only highlight from the intro.). Another week has come and gone and the weekend is upon us. Some of the topics up for grabs today were: Ron Artest, Jimmy Howard, Horses, Shaquille O’Neal, Dirk Nowitzki, and Manny Pacquiao. Unfortunately, Noon was absent for today’s episode, but Bronsteter was joined by Dave Coulson behind the glass. Apparently, Noon has chlamydia………or that was at least how Seixeiro interpreted it. And since Sid was ripped for his pink-eye incident several week’s ago, he was going to let John have it. Like Tim said, “Vengeance will be Seixeiro’s”. In actuality, Noon was absent for the following reason, excerpt: email to the Score: “keeping with the long standing tradition of athletic failures in radio, I, John Noon, have screwed my neck and shoulder up by crashing into the boards at hockey. I’ll be available via phone and email. Apologies for the short notice. Signed John Noon”. All I can say is, use protection Noon, use protection.”

The OHF: Micallef vs. Pizzo Rd. 1
A huge discussion today on the news that came out Friday morning regarding the Ontario Hockey Federation’s decision to ban body-checking for recreational players between the ages of 6 and 21. Basically, there will be no more hitting allowed in House League and Select teams comprised of the top house league players. With regards to “rep”, A, AA, and AAA, the rule is not in effect. From many of the message boards, Tim could see there was alot of mixed reactions through Ontario and Canada. Many people believe that the rule change is great for hockey – making it a safe environment for children to learn skills while also reducing the possible injuries. Tim voiced the same sentiment and figures “if you’re not good enough to play in the 3rd level of hockey, then there’s no need to learn hitting.” Sid wondered though if banning checking in hockey, could hinder a possible pro career in “rep”? The guys brought Pizzo into the conversation because he’s a huge hockey guy – he’s the #7 Canadian hockey broadcaster based on the Klout System. Pizzo, however, has a completely different take on the recent ruling. He thinks it’s a terrible idea. It has nothing to do with whether a person goes pro or not. It’s just a natural progression where one kid could play house league for a couple of years and then improve their game to a point where they could play in “rep” league. Pizzo believes that because that particular kid “never had the experience of learning the art of hits or how to avoid hits; he’s going to get creamed. An important part of hitting is knowing how to take hits so you don’t get hurt.” In response to this comment, Tim doesn’t know what the big issue is. He believes a child could learn how to hit in less than 2 minutes – that’s how he learned when he was younger. Pizzo is not buying that argument though and an agreement regarding the OHF topic between the two is not happening anytime soon.

Both guys definitely present views from each side of the argument that I agree with to an extent. Tim’s point is valid because it’s important that kids do have a safe environment to play hockey in without the risk of injury. It’s the true meaning of playing the game for “fun with risks”. But at the same time, what’s hockey without hitting? Body-checking has been a part of the game since….well, forever possibly. And I truly believe that a kid who is exposed to hitting at a young age, will be better prepared for hitting as he gets older, especially if he moves up to “rep” league. I understand that injuries are a huge possibility but for the parents who don’t want their kids to get hurt, maybe try another sport? Children play football and rugby at a young age as well, some even as young at 9 & 10 – both are sports where hitting is a huge part of the game. Why only focused on hockey? As my better half, MK, said, “Hockey ain’t ballet. That’s what figure skating is for.”

NHL Playoff Chatter
Once the heated debate finished, conversation shifted to the NHL playoffs. Ryan Kesler has really stepped his game up and helped Vancouver win the last two games against Nashville. Tim believes that he’s actually “put the team on his back in the last two games.” Both Tim and Sid believe the series is a wrap and the Canucks are on their way to the Western Conference Finals. But once there, then what? Can they beat the Sharks? (assuming the Sharks beat the Red Wings). Sid made a good point here with regards to the Canucks “exorcising their demons”. There’s one demon left – Anti Niemi. Can they beat that guy? With regards to the BOS/PHI series, everyone believes the series to be over. Pronger is still injured and there’s no chance for a comeback. The same goes for the Sharks and Red Wings series. It seems that the Red Wings have dug a hole to deep to climb out of. Chat then shifted to whether Modano and Lidstrom will retire should they get knocked out by Detroit? The “Swedish D” and the “Highest Points Scoring American” might consider making it a career. It’s ironic that Modano became the All-time American point leader in a game against the Sharks. It looks like it will also be the team to send him into retirement.

*After last night’s games, the Flyers are officially out and the Red Wings survived for another night – the series is now 3 games to 1.

Interesting Facts From PIMP, Rob Pizzo
1. Little chatter on which show is better? Community or Parks and Recreation. There’s a lot of love for Parks and Rec., but Tim thinks Modern Family is better than both shows. I have to agree with that statement.
2. Klout scores were released recently for NBA players and teams. Players such as James, Durant, Odom, Wade, and Nash lead the league. With regards to teams, the Lakers interact the most with their fans via social media.
3. NHL.com recently updated their homepage with a photo of the Canucks’ Green men. Strange, seeing as they condemned them for being a nuisance in the area a couple of days prior. In typically NHL fashion – back-peddling at it’s best.
4. At a recent weigh-in for a boxing match between Evander Holyfield and Brian Nielson, Nielson mooned the entire crowd. Another gong show for Holyfield – time for him to hang them up. The guys discussed some past press conferences and everyone agreed that Iron Mike had some of the best soundbites in history.

What We Learned This Week
A little segment run by Bronsteter here. He’s done these before in the past, but they usually are near the end of the show. This was a good little break. The things learned during this week’s shows were that:
– Tim and Sidizens found out who and where Sauce Kid is from.
– Bronsteter should be more precise in his requests. Especially when they are directed at Hainser.
– It’s never to early for ice cream.
– Tim does business around the corner from Roy Foss.
– Osama Bin Laden is taking his talents to hell after being killed during Operation Neptune.
– Jason Jackson’s friends call him “Jacks”.
– Sid paid $4.75 for water.
– Most Tim and Sidizens think MINIs are straight foss.
– Tim’s future car has more seats than the Liberals.

NBA #realtalk
The next segment involved whether or not the Lakers and Celtics see their respective Conference Finals. Both L.A and Boston are down two games to none against the Heat and Mavs. It’s hard to believe considering that everyone in the sports world believed that at least one of these teams would be there. Tim and Sid agree that you can’t count out either one of these teams until we see the result of game 3. Both teams are recent NBA Champions and know what it takes to win – you can’t rule them out. (However, I just finished watching the Lakers/Mavs game 3 and the Lakers collapsed like the Berlin Wall). With regards to the Hawks/Bulls series, there’s nothing to intriguing happening. Other than Rose’s injury, which they believe he’ll overcome, the Bulls should finish off Atlanta. Derrick is a young guy and has the ability to play through pain, and come through for his team.

Some other news of interest that came up near the end of the show involved the announcement of GSP’s payday. It appears that George made $400,000 for last week’s fight against Jake Shields. Puppy shit compared to what UFC 129 actually brought in for putting off the event. Tim can’t believe that UFC fighters haven’t stepped up and challenged Dana White yet with the threat of leaving. Compared to boxing, UFC fighters are making pocket change. Ex. Manny Pacquiao is pulling in $15 million this week for fighting Shane Mosley. Tim is ready to become a UFC agent – time to step up.

Rapid Fire
Nick Diaz is fighting Jeff Lacy soon. Will an MMA fighter be able to excel in boxing? Sid’s not sure and Tim doesn’t think so. I kind of agree with Tim – while Diaz has some boxing skills, there’s no way MMA fighters have the same fist speed or stamina as full-time boxers.
If Nicklas Lidstrom retires after the series against the Sharks, where will he rank amongst all-time defencemen? Everyone agrees he’s in the Top 3. I’d go as far as maybe #1. He has the trophies and Stanley Cups to prove it. He’s durability has been huge.
Rashard Mendenhall lost his endorsement with Champion. Is this a good look for Champion? In the long run, I think so. He made some pretty fucked up statements. From a marketing standpoint, if they continued with him, sales would have most likely decreased.
Hooters has a recent Mother’s Day promotion for moms: They get free chicken wings for showing up. Is this a good idea? CUT all around! No moms allowed.

Today’s show was up there. The OHF’s decision to ban body-checking is a huge topic and I’m glad the guys decided to talk about it. It was obvious that both Micallef and Pizzo are passionate about the sport of hockey, and it came through in their defence for each of their viewpoints. It’ll definitely be something talked about in the hockey world for the next while. For the heated debate and Sid’s ability to not interrupt, this show gets a 10/10 from me.

The “Hematoma” of a Champion

Sid “Sexy” Seixeiro is in the building! The man who always steps over the line, who doesn’t have an inside voice, and curses like the devil was back in the studio. While Tim held the fort like no other last week, it was still good to have Sid back. He brings an element of randomness – and random is what we got. Initially, I really didn’t know what to expect on today’s Tim and Sid: Uncut. After last night’s Osama Bin Laden news, UFC 129, and the current NBA/NHL playoffs, the boys had lots to choose from.

Immediately as the show’s introduction finished, Tim and Sid started in on the death of Osama Bin Laden. As Sid put it, “Twitter was crazy last night. It puts us in the same room together.” Both guys began a hilarious part of the segment by reading tweets from the night before regarding the death of Osama. Bronsteter was quick on the button as each one fully deserved CSI horns. Some one-liners included:
“Osama Bin Laden has upper body injury. Will not return.” – Tim Micallef
– “He decided to take his talents to hell.” – Sid Seixeiro
“Can we officially call Osama Bin Laden the Champion of Hide-and-Go Seek” – Tim Micallef
“I guess he can shave the playoff beard.” – Tim Micallef
“Hey Tim, hear about Bin Laden? That motherfucker is dead.” – Sid Seixeiro

I could tell in Sid’s voice that he was too pumped to really talk about anything for a long period of time. He was interrupting Tim, jumping to random topics, screaming out shit – he was awesome. Give this man horns for his enthusiasm alone. He jumped from Bronsteter’s pork butt, to what Osama’s been up to before he got caught, to geo-tagging, to Seth Myers. It was a great back-and-forth by the guys. Sid mentioned that he believed the world will demand a photo of Bin Laden dead. Tim, however, wondered if maybe that might be a double standard. Would we, as Canadians, want to see pictures of our troops killed or photos of individuals kidnapped by terrorists? I can see where he’s coming from. Sid mentioned that he found it a very strange period when photos and videos of Sadaam’s death were released. This part of the conversation actually had a serious undertone and I commend the guys on having some #realtalk. Overall, this was a great first half of the radio show. Definitely important stuff to discuss as this is what’s goin’ on in the world. My fiancee loved the political chat as she works for a government “think tank” here in Waterloo. She was quite impressed and laughed at just about every sentence.

Tim also mentioned how much he loved National Anthems and how he gets jacked up when hearing them. He mentioned a particular duo Kate Smith and Lauren Hart that would be heard at the PHI/BOS game. I didn’t recognize the name at first but when I brought up the video, I remembered who he was talking about. Below is a video from tonight’s game.

Interesting Facts from Pizzo’s update:
1. During the news of Bin Laden’s death last night, twitter exploded with tweets, and some of the best tweets came from athletes. Well, actually not the best – Rudy Gay’s tweet sucked. Some tweets included: “Okay, so we killed Osama, we just need to find Waldo & Carmen Sandiego, then I’l be happy.” and “Since we got Osama, Do I need to take my laptop out at security?”.
2. Marathon story #4: Brett Henderson of St. Paris, Ohio, was stopped by officers with a taser when he refused to stop running the Flying Pig Marathon. He was running naked!
3. During game 7 between the Bruins and Canadiens, Zdeno Chara was spotted drinking Coca-Cola behind the bench for a refresher. The problem – the NHL is sponsored by a little called company Pepsi-Cola. Let’s just say they fired off a letter to Chara and don’t want the incident to happen again – not a in Coke-branded container at least.
4. If Jack Layton wins the election, Sid is moving to Buffalo. He’s getting the hell out of Canada. Tim didn’t realize that Jack went to his massage parlour – “They are gonna fuck you.”  (in best Italian accent)

UFC 129 Recap
I’m not going to lie. I actually expected this to be what most of today’s Tim and Sid: Uncut was going to involve. I mean it was the biggest news headline for Toronto this weekend. However at 11:30pm Sunday, that was quickly forgotten about as most of the talk today was about the death of Bin Laden. So I completely understand why the show went in the direction it did. Either way, discussion began with talk on the UFC’s ability to convey the energy felt in the building to the television for those watching at home. Sid felt the the Rogers Centre was “fucking crazy” with excitement, but it didn’t seem to come across to viewers at home. Talk then drifted to the GSP/Shields and Hominick/Aldo fights. Sid believed, much like most people in the building and at home, that the Hominick fight was much more exciting that the main fight. However Sid was surprised that fight was even allowed to continue. “The guy had a tit on his head.” Both Tim and Sid felt that if it had exploded, we might not be having another MMA fight in Ontario for along time. For me personally, I was impressed that the fight continued….but it rang the hypocrisy that goes on at times in sports. We’ve spent the last few months complaining about head shots, fights, etc. that go on in hockey, but once the UFC come to town, we’re ready for individuals to knock each other the fuck out. I’m pretty sure the same dude that was cheering beside me for Hominick to break Aldo’s face, was the same guy that calls into radio shows complaining that head shots and fighting should be banned (Just some thoughts).

The last bit of UFC 129 talk involved the bonuses fighters get for “Fight of the Night”. The Hominick/Aldo fight won both fighters $129,000 – small beans when you compare the $11.5 million collected at the gate (this doesn’t include the PPV). Tim suggested that Dana White should watch out as a revolt could happen in the future. To back that up, Sid mentioned that almost all the guys who fought Saturday have to sit for at least 15 days – it was a brutal card. I guess the question is whether fighters will think it’s worth it when they’re getting paid so little, compared to what the UFC actually collects from a UFC event. But Bronsteter had a great counterpoint when he said that most fighters would be happy with that payday; compared to the $15,000 that some fighters, like Hominick, make per fight.

Rapid Fire
Well, Rapid Fire lasted approximately two minutes today. The show was filled with so much random shit that by the time Tim and Sid got to Bronsteter, there wasn’t much time left. However, I give Orville credit, he managed to get in two sweet questions.
Is Seth Meyer the best weekend update host of all time? Tim and Sid choose Dennis Miller. I agree with Bronsteter – Norm is the guy I nominate.
Sacramento Kings are staying for at least one more year in the NBA before a possible move. Who’s your favourite Kings player?: Bobby Jackson and Olden Polynice were mentioned. I choose Mitch Richmond, I still have that guy’s jersey from the early 90’s.

Sid’s back in the house! Crazy ass show – I honestly don’t know what to say. There was so much shit jam packed into 55 minutes. My fiancee and I listened to the podcast on the ride home tonight so I’m going to let her give the rating. Her words, “Does Sid have ADD? I’ve never seen a guy run through so many topics in a span of 50 minutes. He’s hilarious.” MK’s rating 10/10 for the political content and the Sid-isms.

“It’s 85 f**king feet!”

We built that! It’s eighty-five feet. Eighty-five fucking feet!”

“It’s like Dallas’ Texas Stadium on steroids.”
– Rogers Centre for UFC 129

Last night’s UFC event was the biggest in it’s history, as UFC 129 was held in the Rogers Centre in front of a little more than 55,000 fans in Toronto, ON. Unfortunately, there was still possibly thousands of individuals, some Tim and Sidizens included, that were left without tickets and had to watch the event from their couches on PPV. However, Dana White, in one of his Daily Video Blogs that he usually does prior to all UFC events, gave an amazing tour of the stadium and gives the fans a little idea of what to expect prior to the festivities. White gives a run-down of equipment used, the views from the $50 section to the $800 section, and the areas for fans to buy merchandise, take pictures, etc. for a full interactive experience.

What I was most impressed by throughout the whole video however, was what seemed to be a genuine love for the UFC and ensuring that fans really have a great time at a UFC event. The tag line, “A fat kid in a smartie store” doesn’t do it justice. He seemd pretty excited to finally be putting off an MMA event Canada – White really loves what he does and really believes in the sport of MMA. While alot of people have different views of Dana White as a person/owner, there’s one thing we all have to agree on – the guy knows how to market the shit out of the UFC.

Finally, it’s the dreaded Monday tomorrow, but that only means another new week of Tim and Sid:Uncut. I have no idea what the boys have lined up, but I’m sure it will be jam-packed with goodness. The daily reviews will begin again.