“The Canucks show their teeth, Jay Triano bites the dust, plus, are the MAVS now toothless against Miami? I couldn’t think of many good tooth references; like Burrows bites the guy, I got to have fuckin’ teeth somewhere in the opening. I think Alex Burrows is quite frankly, being selfish in doing something like that. Like, I got to write openings that have some semblance. Ah well.”
Big day today folks, lots of news to discuss – Canucks take game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals and game 2 of the NBA Championship take place this evening. As usual, Bronsteter and Noon are working behind the glass and topics for today include: Overnight Ratings, Brett Lawrie, GSP, Shaq, The Streets Have No Name, Ryan Kesler, Biting, Steve Spurrier, and the best story we’ve heard in awhile.
The Best Story Ever = Weinergate
Before the guys could discuss any hockey, it was important for them to discuss the news in U.S. Politics that has been transpiring over the last week. Apparently, a rising New York Congressman, Anthony Weiner, tweeted a female that wasn’t his wife a photo of his crotch. Not his penis, just a pair of underwear with a package. A Republican blogger got a hold of this and obviously sent it out for all to see. Questions are obviously being asked about who was he was sending it to and if it’s really his bird? Apparently the young woman involved is Nicole Gennette (See photo below).
She’s a humanitarian in the making! HA! Tony’s been working the media and doing everything in his power to deny the accusations. The best video and clip the guys played today involved the interview with Wolf Blitzer. The guys didn’t talk about the stripper he also DM’d in the past as well.
The most stupid part of the interview? He’s not denying that it’s a photo of him. Sid has a good theory that ol’ Tony here was trying to Direct Message Nicole and he ended up sending it to the whole world instead. You’ve been busted Weiner!
A brief conversation arose with regards to our man Cabbie, who used to work on the Score. It was officially announced yesterday that he was now working for the 3-letter network and his debut was on ___Off the Record aired last night. The boys wanted to give a shout out to their buddy and wish him all the best. According to Tim, he was a big factor in getting the word out on the Tim and Sid: Uncut in the first place – “him and his 30,000 followers on Twitter.” No one should have any ill will toward him, and if you do, Sid figures you should fuck off.
Ouch, Alex, Alex Bit Me!
The guys finally got into some NHL Stanley Cup finals talk. A crazy game to say the least – Raffi Torres scored the game winner (1-0) with 19 seconds left in the game. Talk about a heart breaker. However, Tim felt the referees were the ones who actually took over the game. There was powerplay, after powerplay, after powerplay – what the hell? “It’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re fucking gonna get.”, said Sid, in response to the up and down calls. Tim pretty much calls last night’s game a mistake and just hopes it doesn’t go the same way in game 2. A big shout-out to Torres as well for scoring the winner. Both Tim and Sid were surprised that he was even on the ice at the time, but come to think about it, he’s the only player with actual Stanley Cup final experience on the team – Good on him I say.
The boys did discuss a like Colin Campbell, Mike Murphy, and the biting incident from game 1. During a scrum/mosh, Alex Burrows, while getting face-washed, bit the finger of Patrice Bergeron – Jesus, another Mike Tyson incident. Anyways, with Campbell out as disciplinarian, Murphy is taking over the job temporarily until it is filled and his ruling from the biting incident was as follows: “There was no conclusive evidence that he intended to bite the finger of Patrice Bergeron.” Really Mike? There were 9 cameras in the area – everyone knew and saw what had happened. In the end, Burrows wasn’t suspended and will suit up for game 2. This only blows Tim’s head because it again proves his point that the replacement for Colin Campbell doesn’t have to a “Hockey” guy – someone from the boy’s club. Tim uses himself as an example claiming that he’s watched more hockey than Colin Campbell and 99% of the people on this earth and a non-hockey guy could do the job just as good. Yes, Tim, we know you watch a lot of hockey, but guess what – there’s a lot of people in that 1 % with you. I can name a dozen people on the top of my head right now that might have watched more hockey than you maybe. It’s quite the bold statement.
Bono and Brule’s Hot Girlfriend
Still with hockey, the guys began discussion on the news that came out today about U2’s Bono and the Edmonton Oilers’ Gilbert Brule. The other night, prior to a show in Edmonton, Bono and his manager were out for a walk when it started to rain. The ever-cool Bono stuck up his thumb and hoped for a ride. At that time, Brule and his girlfriend who were out taking the dog for a walk, actually picked up Bono and dropped him off at his destination. To say thanks, Bono offered Brule backstage passes and the rest was history. Brule was actually there to watch game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals, but instead, sold the tickets and made his way to Edmonton with his mother and girlfriend (8 out of 10).
The guys also played a video from the following day in which Bono tells the story of what happened the night before (see below). I died laughing at this part because all the guys started ripping on the people in the crowd and the dude actually taking the video. It’s pretty funny (I suggest going to 2:10)
Interesting Facts From Pizzo’s Update
Before Pizzo can get into any updates, the guys continue to rip on the dude taking the video during Bono’s show. I can’t blame them, it’s one of the better soundbytes in awhile. It will be added to the Nooner and Bronsteter Soundbytes section shortly.
1. There’s a website that breaks down the highest paid athletes for each country. Several mentions include Jason Bay (Canada), Lewis Hamilton (England), A-Rod (U.S), and Dirk Nowitzki (Germany). I’m not 100% sure that this is the actual website, but it provides the same information.
2. Steven Seagal now has his own MMA Action Figure. What the hell? I’m in the same boat as Tim, I collected the Wrestling Superstars in grade 3.
3. Who’s the biggest Washington Redskins fan ever? A man in Washington recently had a crown put on his tooth that had the Redskins logo on it.
Goodnight My Darlings! – Jay Triano
Well, it was finally made official, Jay Triano has been released of his duties as coach of the Toronto Raptors. The guys definitely have the utmost repsect for Jay and believe he’s one classy guy – of course he is, he’s Canadian. This is not a huge shock to everyone, especially Tim and Sid because during their interview with Colangelo last week, he never out-right said he’d hire Triano back as the coach; he kind of danced around the question posed by Sid by just saying that they were going to have some meetings. According to Sid, “He is a good guy, but on the otherside, defensively, he was not a good coach.” But can you blame him, look at what he had to work with. All this hate for him is definitely not warranted in my opinion (people from Twitter land). The team for him was like an ugly chick – no amount of beer is ever going to make her beautiful. There’s some discussion on who may replace Triano and Sid mentions that he likes Lawrence Frank – he’s defensive minded and could help improve the team. Either way, from all the Tim and Sidizens, adios Jay.
Rapid Fire
Huge fight announcement by Bronsteter before the beginning of Rapid Fire. It’s been released that GSP will finally face Nick Diaz sometime next year. I’m looking forward to this fight. Sid belives that Nick is going to get his ass kicked.
During this segment, you could hear someone in the booth (SIDNEY) let one rip. He claims it was the chair, but when you think about it, all that chocolate milk can cause gas and it has to be released from some orifice.
– Using technology such as BBM, Texting, Twitter, etc. to break up with somebody. CUT or UNCUT? I say CUT to this, that’s fucking straight foss.
– Having a secret handshake. CUT or UNCUT? All the guys say CUT and I agree with them. Unless it opens a secret passage or something, there’s no need for it.
– Ordering a product from the T.V. CUT or UNCUT? I think this is UNCUT. What Sid fails to recognize is that some items on the tube are not available at your local Canadian Tire. But in saying that, I’ve never ordered anything from the tube in my life. But I wouldn’t rule it out.
– Sending out wedding invitations via Facebook or Email. CUT or UNCUT? From personal experience this is CUT! I’m doing up wedding invites now, well not really me – M.K is, and there’s no way she’d send them out through social media/email. However, with that being said – the postal strike is not going to help us get them out anytime soon.
* During this show, we learned that Seixeiro masturbates to Best Buy Flyers
WOOOO! Great show, more on the edu-tainment side of things today, but fun none the less. The Weiner and Brule story were great – especially regarding the guy filming the concert. Its also came to my attention that Sid needs to chill out on calling out the listeners or at least give them more credit than he does. I did up a timeline of the show yesterday and while going through the shows, noticed that he was much nicer in the beginning of the show. Not that he’s going to give a fuck anyways – I’m still a fan of his regardless. I’m glad that the guys touched on Jay Triano for a bit – for the time that he’s given them in the past, it was appropriate to give him a proper shout-out. Great job by Bronsteter with the Rapid Fire and where’s Noon? We don’t hear him engaging as much – but when he does, he delivers a homerun. Great show – fuck it, 9.8/10
Sid and Tim: Cut 