Grimace, Diggler, & Milley Baena

“A ballsy performance from Tyler Seguin, a ballsy performance from Dirk Nowitzki, and the balls just didn’t bounce properly for the Raptors.”

What a shitty afternoon! Mid-May and it’s been cold/raining for the last week. Let’s hope this doesn’t continue into the May 2-4 weekend. Nothing a little Tim and Sid: Uncut couldn’t fix however, and boys came firing on all cylinders today. Only a couple of more days now and Tim will be back in the studio, but in the meantime, Sid is helped into his celebrity “O-list” status by the team of Noon, Bronsteter, and the lovely Nadine (P.S. Nadine, after your last visit to the show, I mentioned you in the review and added one of your SportsNaytion videos. Holy shit, the amount of emails I received was off the hook – Do you know her? Do you speak with her? How do I contact her? You have fans Nay Nay). Topics up for discussion this rainy Thursday include: Winnipeg, Tea Bags, Dirk Nowitzki, Heather Cox, Secaucus – New Jersey, Tim Thomas, Charles Barkley, Jay Triano, Soundboards, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Just when you thought the Terminator talk was over, think again listeners. As you know, yesterday we all received the news that Arnold had a love child with one of his maids, causing himself and Maria Shriver to announce that they were getting a divorce. And in true tabloid style, we found out the identity of “said” mistress early this afternoon – Mildred Baena (see photo above), the maid who gave birth to Arnold’s love child. Personally I don’t think she’s much to look at and it appeared that Sid agreed, “I don’t want to throw stones in glass rooms, houses, or whatever you’re living in, but I don’t know about this one. A lot of beers before this one.” Not that I think Shriver is the most beautiful in the world, but I agree that Ol’ Milley is a big step down. And Sid didn’t stop there, “She’s built like a Canadian Right Tackle. If you’re going to risk everything, that’s an interesting choice.” Bronsteter had an interesting point of view regarding Arnold’s mistress, “He proving he’s a man of the people because 99% of men can now say they’ve banged more attractive women.” Hearey, Hearey!!

Boston Bruins/Dirk Nowitzki MishMash
Sid actually didn’t waste much time getting into sports today. The above conversation was maybe 5 minutes maximum; Sid said he wanted to quickly get down to business and discuss the Bruins and Lightning series in the NHL playoffs. “The game in TD Garden last night was amazing. Entertainment from front and back, the way the playoffs should be.” For those that are unaware, game 2 between BOS/TBL was a shoot-out fest, ending with the Bruins evening the series after a 6 – 5 win. According to Sid, there were two stories to this game; one negative and one positive. The first one being that Roloson looked pretty shaky. He’s a great goaltender, but he’s in the age group where he’s getting up there and as of right now, he’s teetering on the ledge of being a problem. “I don’t know how long Dwayne can keep this up. So for his sake, I hope he plays better in game 3.” But the positive story that came out of last night’s game was the exceptional play by Tyler Seguin. Here’s a kid, 19 years old, and has only one playoff game under his belt. He went in there for a total of 13 minutes and scored 4 points. WTF. “God help Tampa if he sees 18 minutes of ice time in game 3 because he’s on point, on point. You got to loosen up the reigns a little bit if you’re Claude Julien.” said Sid. And it’s hard to not disucss Seguin without thinking that he could have been a Leaf #fail.

While that story was developing in Boston last night, Dirk Diggler was writing his own story in Dallas. In game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, Nowitzki brought his best stuff and the German Wunderkind had 48 points, including 24/24 from the charity stripe. Unbelievable. Like Sid said, “Dirk is destroying people. He is annihilating people on the other side of the floor. He is unguardable, unguardable.” But Sid was quick to point out that it was only one game. Let’s keep it in perspective, “The label of being soft is not going away. The only way it leaves is if he does what he couldn’t do in 2006. Close the deal and win an NBA Finals.”

Secaucus, NJ and David Kahn
Sid’s definitely controlling his ability to stay on topic this afternoon – the transitions are like butter. Once he was finished discussing the NBA playoffs, the other NBA story of the night revolved around the draft lottery that took place in New Jersey. If any anyone remembers, on February 24th, Baron Davis was traded to the Cleveland Caviliers for the Clippers first pick. “Did the Clippers think at all about protecting that first pick? They didn’t; they didn’t protect their first pick.” And guess what Clipper fans, the Cavs won the fucking lottery – winning the #1 overall pick. And it was a pretty good night for the city of Cleveland as they received the #1 and #4 pick of the 2011 draft and have something to build on since the departure of LeDouche. Does it soften the blow for James leaving? Not quite, but it does make it better.

The other interesting story that took place during the draft lottery revolved around Dan Gilbert’s son, Nick. Nick Gilbert is battling a form of nerve disease and the kid has a heart of gold. He was selected by the Cavaliers to represent the team when the draft positions were being announced. Call him good luck, or from David Kahn’s point of view, the “draft lottery is rigged.” What a shithead, he’s basically saying that Cleveland won the draft because Nick was up front and that it makes good T.V. Don’t blame the NBA for you losing for the 14th time in the lottery without a #1 pick. Blame your god-awful choices and your decisions that involve the Timberwolves franchise. Sid is pretty sure that the league will have to take a look at Kahn’s accussations.

The Man, the Myth, the Legend, Robert Pizzo Update
Being the softie that he probably is, Pizzo started today’s update by shunning the guys for being rough on Arnold’s mistress, Mildred. He thought everyone was being a little harsh…..but in true fashion, the guys ignored him and Bronsteter began reading out what the twittter world thought about Milley. Aaron threw out a tweet to Tim and Sidizens with the line, “_____________ is hotter than Arnold’s mistress. Some hilarious answers were:
– Kamala
– George Muresan
– B. Arthur
– Popeye Jones
Finally, Pizzo caved and joined the boys by saying “she kind of has a Joker mouth.”

1. Madden NFL 12 has a new feature. In the past, when one of the players would get injured, they’d leave for a quarter or a half. But in the new edition, concussions are introduced and due to their severity, your player will be gone for the entire game.
2. Apparently Lew Alcindor is pissed that his statue is not outside the Staple Centre. “Magic, Hearn, Gretzky, and del a Hoya all have statutes, what don’t I?” The boys get in somewhat of a heated discussion about what determines an athlete getting a statue. The only thing fully agreed upon is that Kareem is an asshole. I’d advise that you check out the article – he is a complete douchebag.
3. Both Wade and James scored under 20 points in game 1 of the Eastern Conferece Finals the other night. Sounds bad, but they always rebound with the best of them. When James scores under 20 points, the Heat are 13 – 1 in the following game. When Wade scores under 20 points, the Heat are 13 – 4 in the following game. Pizzo pretty much guarantees a win in game 2 against the Bulls.

Random Ramblings of a Madman
After the update, Sid focused some more on the NBA draft lottery. The Raptors fell from 3rd spot to 5th – a great present for Colangelo after he resigned with the organization. What players will be available at the #5 spot? The draft isn’t quite filled with superstars and after 1 & 2, there’s a wide array of opinions where guys will fall. Who do the Raptors take? Kemba Walker, Brandon Knight? Sid figures it will be an interesting choice when it comes time for the Raptors to pick. I personally would like to see Knight playing for Toronto.

I could tell at this stage of the show that Hainser’s Corner was not taking place (maybe with a mistress?). So Sid started answering some twitter questions. Some dude wanted to know why the fuck Sid hates tea? “I can’t use a tea bag and not giggle my way through the entire experience.” Another tweet Sid read out was pretty funny. It appears Nadine has struck a cord with the male audience, “@sid_seixeiro Nadine has a sexy voice. That is all.” Fuck Hainser, get Nadine in to do some rapid fire questions (I kid, we all want Hainser).

Just before Rapid Fire, Sid did want to touch on the story about what was happening between True North Sports & Entertainment and the Atlanta Thrashers. Basically, True North requested the help of the Provincial Government (Manitoba) in getting hockey back into Winnipeg. The Preimer said that that was not happening; the government will help with the building and other shit, but when it comes to helping subsidize the debt to purchase the Thrashers? Fuck, No. Sid can’t believe he is hearing this, “The Thrashers are the second cheapest team to buy in the NHL, one spot above Phoenix. When you don’t have enough money to buy shit, that normally means that you shouldn’t buy shit.” Sid’s having less faith in the True North group and the more he reads about them, the more he doesn’t like. I don’t blame him, the last thing Winnipeg needs is to be successful in moving the team, only to have them depart again years down the road due to financial issues.

Rapid Fire
Today’s Rapid Fire included a little Oprah, Arnold, and Ronald McDonald. Brilliant!
– Maria Shriver was out with Oprah for supper when she found out about the love child between Arnold and his mistress. What situation would you least want to find out bad news? I’m getting married in December – I’d have to say the alter.
– People are demanding the removal of Ronald McDonald from it’s products. Whose your favorite McDonaldland Character? Sid chooses Grimace because he doesn’t know what the fuck he does or stands for. I select the Hamburglar because I do know what the fuck he does!

While there were no guests during this show, I thought today’s Tim and Sid: Uncut was “Gold Sidney, Gold!” I liked the NBA talk and the rant against True North Sports & Entertainment. Definitely interesting things to think about. Bronsteter’s Arnold Soundboard continues to get the thumbs up. Overall, I enjoyed how it all went down in the world of sports and edu-tainment. I found the show flew by faster than normal. 9.5/10 

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Don’t Drink F**kin’ Kool-Aid

“The Yankees pissed off Jorge Posada, I pissed off a Jays’ fan, and Arnold Schwarzenegger really pissed off Maria Shara….Sharapova, was gonna say Sharapova – Maria Shriver. I’m sure somewhere down the line Maria Sharapova was pissed off as well. Alright, let’s hope the rest of the show is better than that.”

Welcome Tim and Sidizens, another day, another Tim and Sid: Uncut. Tim Micallef is still on holidays, but Sid is here and backed by the Sound Byte duo, Noon and Bronsteter. Topics for today’s show include and may not include: Winnipeg, Patrice Bergeron, the Jays, Doc Rivers, NFL Lockout, Bryan Colangelo, Kendrick Perkins, Kevin Durant, Tomas Kaberle, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

If you haven’t noticed a recurring theme over the last few weeks, the Tim and Sid: Uncut radio show always ensure that all the Tim and Sidizens are up to date with the latest news that are hot off the presses. First we had Bin Laden, yesterday we had Rebecca Black, and today – Arnold Schwarzenegger. It looks like our favourite action hero was a bad boy. As you’re probably already aware, Arnold and Maria split up just last week and it was only a matter of time before the public find out why. Apparently, and this has been confirmed, Arnold had a kid with a member of his staff 10 years ago and according to the report, Maria just found out about it. First off, and quoted by Sid, “Rumour is that Arnold’s been pounding various vagines for years.”, and secondly, Sid doesn’t buy the fact that Maria didn’t know that Arnold had a love child; “I think you were like Bud Selig during the steroid era and looked the other way.” I’m sure a lot of more of this story will break over the next week or so. I should also point out how awesome Bronsteter was during this section. Throughout Sid’s rants, Aaron was dropping Arnie Sound Bytes like no one’s business. You really have to listen to the podcast because words will not do it justice. But in the meantime, you should check out the 160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes below.

BREAKING NEWS! Brought to you by Aaron Bronsteter. The boys released the news that the Raptors and Bryan Colangelo have agreed upon a two year contract, obviously gearing up for the 2011 NBA Draft Lottery tonight. Sid thinks the Raptors have a good chance at top pick, but as we’ve seen in the past, having one of the worst records doesn’t guarantee a top 1 or 2 pick (and what do you know, they fell to the #5 pick in the draft – shit).

Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid Jays Fans
During this segment, I could sense that Sid had a beef that he wanted to get off his chest. Just after yesterday’s show, Sid made his way back to his desk. In the time that it takes for him to leave the booth and make it to his computer, a listener had already sent in a lengthy email regarding the show. Like every show, Sid or Tim will run down the topics that would be up for discussion during the 55 minutes on air. Some days the boys will discuss all the topics, and somedays (well, most days) there isn’t enough time. Apparently, one of the topics that was up for discussion and not addressed due to time constraints was Jose Bautista. Some listener sent in an email complaining that Bautista wasn’t talked about, “Let me get straight to the point and not waste much of your time as I”m not trying to rile you guys up or piss Sid off or anything. LOL. I’m just extremely disappointed with not having a portion regarding Jose Bautista’s performance on Monday’s show. And yet, a soccer piece closed the entire show.” …… ……. ……. Are you kidding me? The format of this show has been like this since day 1 almost. If you were that disappointed in not hearing about Bautista, I suggest you start reading the sports section in the paper or listening to other sport shows on the SIRIUS 158. If the boys run out of time, or have an important guest, they’re not going to cut him short so they can talk about Jose Bautista – they have respect for their guests. And 9 times out of 10, if Tim and Sid miss out on discussing a particular topic, they’ll make sure they talk about it the following day.

However, Sid is much kinder than I and agreed to spend some time on the Jays and Jose Bautisita. “This is the show of the people.”, said Seixeiro, “and after what he did on Sunday, Jose Bautisita is a fucking beast!”. In all honesty, Sid never imagined that Bautisita would be swinging the bat like this; he thought maybe last year was a special and this year Joey would follow up with 3o homers. But do you know what, “he might have 30 homers by the end of the month.” When Sid watched the first homerun on Sunday, it made him think that he’d actually pay to see this guy play. Sid, “I’m a cheap fuck. But I would pay for Jose Bautista to perform in front of me with a stick.” If you ask me personally, that’s a compliment, and Sid decided to voice this sentiment to the world of twitter. NOOOOO! All he did was a simple tweet that said, “If it weren’t for Jose Bautista, there would be no reason to watch this Jays’ season.” – simple, plain, and straight to the point. But the backlash from that one tweet was enormous, it struck a nerve. People started talking shit left, right, and centre and what pissed Sid off the most were the people who started giving him reasons to watch the Jays this season, as though they were putting Sid in his place. Tweeters were throwing out names like Brendan Morrow, Ricky Romero, John McDonald, and Kyle Drabek. C’mon man!!!!!!! Those are the names you’re suggesting are a draw? Sid threw down here, “Guys, this is fucking weak, this is bullshit! Back up from the World of Warcraft Online for 3 seconds and think about what you’re writing me. This is garbage. Don’t get pissy at me for not drinking the Kool-aid. Jose Bautista is that team right now. Some of you need to look up the fucking meaning of ‘draw’.” Both Noon and Bronsteter agree with Sid, and so do I. The names listed above are not going to get people like my finacee to the ballpark or any other person who doesn’t watch baseball. But a dude who’s hitting the ball like the Hulk? That will make people pay to see a Jays’ game.

Interesting Facts From Pizzo’s Update
1. Camera phones are an awesome invention. After Game 1 between the Bulls and Heat, Dennis Rodman was so excited, he decided to get up, stand up, and sing live at Stanley’s Pub in Chicago late into the night. He did a little rendition of George Clinton’s “We want the Funk!”

2. Mike Tyson is taking his talents to Argentina. The former heavyweight champ is set to appear on Argentina’s “Dancing with the Stars”. But did you guys know that he’s already gone this route before? He also starred in Italy’s version of “Dancing with the Stars” in 2010. I don’t think he floats like a butterfly.

3. During a West Ham player/fan gala, a fight broke out when a soccer player reportedly refused to sign an autograph because he was “too tired.”  The player in question, Demba Ba, said it was sparked due to racist remarks. It doesn’t matter who was responsible, they’re all a bunch of hooligans. 

Ian O’Connor and the New York Yankees
With all that has gone on in the Yankees’ clubhouse this past weekend, it was great timing by Bronsteter to have Ian O’Connor, a sports columnist for ESPNNewYork.com and author of ‘The Captain: The Journey of Derek Jeter‘, on the show as Sid’s next guest. Here’s a little backstory if you’re not familiar with the what happened. Over the weekend, Posada was moved to ninth in the batting order due to his poor play as of late. Rather than play and accept responsibility, Posada felt disrespected by the club and removed himself from the lineup altogether. To make matters worse, Jeter then back he’s friend’s decision the following day. So the first question that was on Sid’s mind was what the hell is has been going on in Yankee Nation over the last 72 hours? O’Connor said it reminded him of the old Bronx Zoo, a complete mess. Judging by the reaction of fans since Posada was relagated to the 9th spot, O’Connor figures it will be an apoctolyptic moment when Jeter gets bumped down the lineup in the future. The interview between Sid and Ian then shifted to the topic of Brian Cashman and his relationship with Jeter. Sid was surprised how openly public Cashman has been on the events that transpired over the weekend – he’s talking to media, FOX news; he’s not covering this up at all. Sid asked O’Connor if this surprised him at all? According to O’Connor, this is really not a surprise. It’s Cashman’s style and he tends to take challenges head on. He compares it to the contract negotiations that happend awhile back between Jeter and the Yankees. During that period, both parties had opposite agendas ($) and Cashman had no problem talking to the media about it. This obviously pissed Jeter off because because according to O’Connor, “it was the first time he’d ever seen Jeter vent his frustrations and show anger.” Now with this recent soap opera, bumping Posada, Jeter’s good friend, the relationship between Cashman and Jeter is definitely strained.

With everything that we’ve seen publicly, the contract dispute and now with the Posada situation, Sid asks O’Connor if it’s a stretch to say that this is the last contract Jeter signs with the New York Yankees? O’Connor doesn’t pull any punches, “Oh no, not a stretch at all. He’s been hitting a lot of grounders. He says he wants to play well into his 40’s, but if you can’t hit the ball past the infield, he can’t expect to play much longer.”

Finally, Sid asked some questions about O’Connor book; the reason behind it and what have been some of the reactions by the Yankee organization? According to O’Connor, it was all about humanizing him. The fans and the City of New York love Jeter, he’s an icon. O’Connor wanted to write a book discussing why Jeter is who he is and where he came from. He’s looking at Jeter as a whole, not just from the angle of him being an athlete. “He’s the most dignified Yankee since Lou Gehrig. Derek showed up to work everyday and was a winner.” With regards to how the organization likes the book, there doesn’t seem to be anyone who has a problem with it. Jeter did see some excerpts in a New York paper that he didn’t like, but in saying that, Jeter didn’t read the book either. Quotes can easily be taken out of context. 

Sid’s Ego Grows 10 Feet
This part of the show was hilarious. Like Sid said, “If this part of the show seems self-indulgent, it is. And I don’t give a fuck.” Basically, back on February 24th, at the NBA trade deadline, Kendrick Perkins was traded to the Thunder. It was the definitely the surprise of the day and the beginning of the end for the Boston Celtics’ chances of winning this year’s title. As we all know, Boston did eventually get booted from the playoffs by Miami, and people still believe that Danny Ainge had to make that particular move. However, Sid hated the idea from the beginning and felt he was on “bit of an island” regarding the trade. “Contenders don’t shed salaries for next season. If you’re fighthing for titles, you keep what you have. Worry about today. It’s about today!” And the fact the fact that Doc Rivers went on a local radio station to voice the same sentiments as Sid, only made Seixeiro’s head grow bigger. In Doc’s words,“I would have waited until after the year was over. Making that trade at the time we made that trade, made it very tough for us. And not only that, we added other pieces as well and we tried to fit them in; so it was just a lot of moving parts to a team that had the advantage that we had with continuity. And everyone else knew it. Chicago was a new team meshing, the Heat were a new team that were meshing, they could not fall back on what we had with our starting five. And once we made the Perkins trade, we took that away.”

Wait for it, wait  for it……Let me tell you something. It is fucking exhausting being as right as I am most of the fucking time. It’s exhausting.” – Sid Seixeiro, May 17th, 2011.

Sid, I clearly hear where you’re coming from. But man, I heard the same sentiment from a lot of people – me included. I heard plenty of people say they didn’t like the Perkins trade. You need to stop talking with Rick Campanelli, Peter Mansbridge, and Lloyd Robertson about sports. They probably don’t know much about the basketball world like you do.

Rapid Fire
A nice little game of “Either Or” from Bronsteter.
Hot Dogs or Hamburgers? Sid gives the thumbs up to Hot Dogs. I have to agree – a nice hot dog is always good at the ballpark.
Jose Bautista or Mother Teresa? It all depends whose going to help me get to heaven.
Favourite canned pasta? Chef Boyardee’s Ravioli or Zoodles? Both are equally disgusting but I’d have to choose Ravioli – the giant size.
Ceasar or Ranch Dressing? I’m a Ceasar guy.
Orange Pekoe or Earl Grey? I’m not a tea guy at all. Even coffee is hard to do at times – it’s all about the Cafe Mocha. It was discovered that Noon is a connoisseur of tea.

Great Tuesday show for the boys. Sid had 2 huge rants today – always a bonus. The Bautista and Celtics rank up there in the rant world. Bronsteter was gold with all the sound bytes (I’d definitely listen to this podcast) and came through with a solid Rapid Fire. The interview with Ian O’Connor was pretty good and it was interesting to hear his take on Yankee Nation. Good show 9/10.