Them are fightin’ words! Let the battle begin!
Who Do You Think Has the Better Crew?
Them are fightin’ words! Let the battle begin!
Who Do You Think Has the Better Crew?
“Jackson’s ready for action.
Stevie gets sassy.
And the Dow goes down.
(Sid: Yikes, #WTF?)
(Sid: Your voice is like Velvet Peanut Butter. Have I told you that?)
Famous run that ish!”
Another weekend has come and gone and Monday has crept up on us like a ninja in the night. At least we had Tim and Sid: Uncut this afternoon to ease those early week blahs. So welcome TimandSidi-zens to another review for August 8th, 2011. Sid sounded amped to start, Tim’s stomach issues seemed to have cleared up, and the boys behind the glass, Noon and Bronsteter, had their fingers ready to fire off some soundbites. In regards to Pizzo, he’s still somewhere in Mexico working cartel stuff. Some of the topics up for discussion today that may or may not be addressed include: Rashad Evans, DeSean Jackson, Shannon Sharpe, Brett Lawrie, Adam Scott, A-Rod, Stephen Strasburg, Deion Sanders, Tito Ortiz, and the SAP (Standard & Poor).
Micallef Got An A in AoC: Economics
As you’re already aware, before the boys get into any sports discussion, they usually begin each show with the “news of the day” and give listeners a look into what’s happening around the world. The big news to come out this afternoon involved the TSX and the Dow Jones. News surfaced that global stocks tumbled as investors fled on the first trading day after the SAP was downgraded in the U.S. Stocks plunged with the S&P down more than 6% for its largest drop in nearly three years. With the report surfacing, twitter seemed to blow-up and according to Tim, “everyone on twitter thought they were an economist.” Even though Tim received an A in AoC: Economics, he still finds it frustrating to see people on tweeter explaining the Dow Jones while using words that half of us don’t use. If you’re attempting to educate people on how the TSX and Dow Jones operate, analysts and know-it-alls need to use words that are used on a regular basis. “I listened to Ali Velshi and that’s all I need to know.” replied Sid.
Seixeiro goes on to ask Bronsteter for the TSX and our favourite producer apparently gives Sid the “I may as well asked him to give me one of his kidneys.” said Sid. From Bronsteter’s google search, it looks like the TSX dropped 1000 points in three days and lost just over 392 points today. The SAP on Friday caused complete chaos; despite the fact that they messed up their number. “How can you mess up your numbers and downgrade a credit rating?” asks Sid. As mentioned above, Ali Velshi helped Sid understand what the hell was going on and the former t.v. reporter was able to break it down: “If there’s a couple a home about to pay the mortgage, the bank doesn’t see that. If they’re also having violent fights in their home, the bank doesn’t see that. The bank just wants to see the mortgage getting paid; they don’t give a crap about anything else. Well the bank saw some in-house fighting among Congress and when the bank sees that, they’re going to downgrade them.”
Before they end all the economy talk, Tim mentions that he’s also a little disappointed with this news because he just put some money in; diversified his portfolio, and now he’s worried his interest rates will be terrible. “Some people lost their shirts today and on Friday.” says Sid. “And if Italy goes down, we’re all in trouble.” responded Tim.
Greg Sansone’s Match-Game
To tie in with the recent news of the TSX and Dow Jones, Greg Sansone; V.P. of theScore Television Network, comes through with a brilliant match-game.
Some of the great responses included:
1. Tim’s pants from last week (Noon)
2. Whoever created the monstrosity in theScore bathroom (Sid)
3. Tim Micallef after chicken souvlaki (Sean)
4. Canada’s FIFA rankings (Noon)
5. My ex-girlfriend (Paul)
7. Rebecca Black’s career (Bronsteter)
8. Your boy who asked for horns last week (Ross)
theScore On Sirius & Tim and Sid: Uncut
As most of the TimandSid-izens are aware, as of September 1st, 2011, theScore Radio will no longer exist. As mentioned last week Sirius has decided to pull the plug on the radio station. With XM and Sirius about to be one in Canada, Sirius have decided that there is no need to keep theScore Radio. “What happened to it’s stock today Tim?” asked Sid sarcastically. Both boys agree – Don’t invest in theScore Radio at this time! Tim goes on to mention that while they can’t do anything on their end, as a listener, WE can do something.
In Canada: email@example.com 1-888-539-7474
In the U.S: firstname.lastname@example.org 1-866-635-2349
The boys do go on to say that as TimandSid-izens, we shouldn’t worry about not getting our Tim and Sid: Uncut fix. The show will continue after September 1st through iTunes, podcasts, and possibly through webcasts with a live chat room (still under negotiations).
Tiger Woods, Steve Williams, or Adam Scott?
In the first discussion of sports, Tim asks Sid what the biggest story in sports was this weekend. Sid figures it has to be what transpired at the golf course and it sounds like both guys are on the same page and agree that in the middle of August, this is what has to be talked about. While it was Adam Scott who went on to win the Bridgestone Invitational this past weekend, the bigger story to come out of the tourney seemed to be the one revolving around Tiger Woods and his ex-caddie, Steve Williams. Debate between Tim and Sid surrounds what happened after Scott secured the win. Williams, now working for Scott, did a scrum right after the 18th hole – he was the second interview after the winner.
For a caddie whose helped win numerous titles and whose won millions of dollars while under Tiger, Sid did not like the comments made by Williams. “If Steve Williams today or tomorrow wants to pop off, he’s got a reason too. But in that moment, it was a wildly selfish maneuver from Steve Williams’ perspective. Hey Steve, here’s a phrase for you – “No comment.” It’s the kid’s moment. Adam Scott won the tournament. You didn’t shot 65, he did. It’s not your day. What the hell is wrong with you?” said Sid. Tim attempts to play devil’s advocate by suggesting that Williams might never have another time to talk but Sid isn’t buying that argument. “The timing made him look small and petty because it wasn’t his moment. It makes him look smaller.” Sid then goes on to say, “In a way I’m glad it happened. It’s a window into a guy’s mind that’s Steve Williams. He’s a bitter, insecure guy.” Tim suggests that maybe they bring in Sansone to discuss the matter and Sid agrees with him and throws out some trash talk, “Bring him in. I’d like to eat someone alive on this debate. I could be wrong with this, but I doubt it. The timing was just unprofessional.”
Interesting Facts From Dave Coulson’s Updates
Before Coulson can get to his updates, Sid asks the update newby what it’s like being Pizzo for the short period of time. According to Coulson, he’s having a great time so far, but is kind of upset that Bronsteter can’t even get his name of the show’s script – it still says Pizzo on it. “So it’s your third day in and you’re already complaining about Bronsteter. Welcome to the team.” replies Sid.
1. Luis Castillo, once a bat boy for the New York Yankees from 1998 to 2005, has a so-called tell-all book coming out called Clubhouse Confidential in which he offers some interesting tales from the behind the scenes. Some of the highlights from the book include:
– Derek Jeter as he greeted the bat boys, “How’re you doin’, bitaches?”
– Hideki Matsui during a pre-game exchange of the 2004 ALCS on what the team was going to do, “Kick ass. Pop champagne and get some ho’s!”
Sid’s already convinced that the book is going to suck. While the stories are cute, they don’t spill any major dirt.
2. Real Madrid have signed a 7-year old Argentine boy named Leonel Angel Coira who will begin training on September 6th of this year. The 7-year old have lived in Madrid for the past three years and his favourite player is Lionel Messi. Coulson is kind of shocked by this news but Tim and Sid seem to tear his update apart because signing kids at this age or close to it is a common occurrence. “It just means he’s going to a youth academy.” said Tim.
3. Chicago Bulls Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman just came out with the Gtox Milkshake. Gtox contains antioxidants and glucarate which is supposed to create a fast recovery and efficient liver detox from alcohol consumption. Coulson also mentions that the the milkshake will be great for hangovers after it was tested by subjects handpicked by Rodman. Sid suggests that he’s a bit of a wimp when he comes to hangovers, but Micallef handles them like a pro – drinking water is Tim’s remedy.
Greg Sansone Breaks Down Steve Williams And Shkeef
As promised, the boys bring in theScore‘s V.P of Television, Greg Sansone, for a little Steve Williams debate. Sansone starts off though by proclaiming his love for twitter, “It’s my thoughts unfiltered…In real life, we’ve become so afraid to say what we feel and this ties in with Steve Williams.” Greg doesn’t think that it was Adam Scott’s moment; it was Steve Williams’ and everyone was waiting to see what he’d have to say after helping Scott win the tournament. The boys jar back and forth and Sid continues to stand by his comments, “When you get off of 18, you need to check yourself.” By this point, Tim seems to be agreeing with Sansone and in attempt to change the Portuguese beast’s mind, Greg asks Sid what story he would of been looking for had he sent him down there to cover the tournament. Again, it’s a failed attempt because Sid thinks timing had everything to do with it and Williams should of just said “no comment”.
Sansone continues to say that he loved Steve Williams’ answer because it was honest. “We want honesty, but we’re shocked when we get it…We bitch about Tiger, we bitch about LeBron, we talk about A-Rod and say we’re tired of it, but we love them. We love them because they make our jobs so much better.” says Sansone. “Do you know the difference between Steve Williams and that group though? They’re athletes.” responds Sid.
By minute 45, it’s obvious that no one is changing Sid’s mind so the topic of Shkeef comes up. I myself am interested in this section in particular because I had a little twitter conversation with Sansone last week and he was able to get some things straight for me about the word. According to Greg, Shkeef: is filth and things that are gross and dirty. There’s spin-offs and adaptations; it can be used many ways and works in many ways; commonly used as a verb. Before Sansone disappears from the studio, he introduces his next tweet and asks Tim and Sid whether or not it’s a good one.
Gold Sansone! Gold! Greg promises to throw out another one before the end of the show.
Ricky Williams and the NFL Hall of Fame
The Baltimore Ravens have agreed to terms with running back Ricky Williams. Williams, a former Miami Dolphins, will act as backup to Ray Rice after the Ravens cut Willis McGahee, who then signed with the Denver Broncos. Tim believes this is a good spot for Ricky and “he’s going to steal some carries away from Rice.” The boys also believe that the Ravens will use Williams the same way they used McGahee. Sid further explains that while Williams could help, it seems like a step back; Seixeiro liked McGahee over Williams. And other news to break in the NFL today were:
1. DeSean Jackson ended his holdout
2. Peter King throws out the rumours that Brett Favre is considering returning to the NFL
As time was running out for the show, Tim and Sid quickly get into some discussion on the NFL Hall of Fame Induction that took place over the weekend. “Some amazing moments and some disappointing speeches.” says Sid. Some of the highlights and lowlights for the boys included:
1. The Shannon Sharpe film was revealing. Most of his speech and film introduction involved his family and not football; a crazy part involved how his Nan passed away the day before the interview.
2. Tim thought Deion Sanders had the best speech of the night; including the do-rag.
3. They agreed that Marshall Faulk’s speech was a disaster. Tim and Sid both found it strange that Faulk and Sanders had their agent introduce them.
4. Sid thought another funny part of the night was that during Sharpe’s speech, John Elway was texting.
5. One of the greatest speeches belonged to Richard Dent of the Chicago Bears. He told his story of being dropped off at Tennessee by his high school coaches and some of the struggles he face.
6. In relation to No. 5, Tim thought it was crazy for Deion Sanders to discuss all the hurdles he had to go through. “Hurdles? What hurdles? What the “F” are you talking about?…You were the second overall pick, you ran a 4.19, you didn’t have any detractors.”
7. Sid loved when Marshall Faulk called his kids the “Little Faulkers”
Before Bronsteter throws out some Rapid Fire questions for all the TimandSid-izens, he reads out another tweet from Greg Sansone.
1. Bill Parcells and Bill Cowher are eligible for the NFL Hall of Fame next year. Who do you think is the most deserving? Tim and Sid seem to go with Parcells and I agree with them 100%. Cowher has done a lot of things in his career, but for me personally, Parcells’ soundbites were always one of the best.
2. Alex Meruelo, who’s buying the Atlanta Hawks is the founder of a pizza chain called La Pizza Loca which has a 1 topping 32 slice pizza for $10. If you could choose one topping for any pizza, what would it be? Italian Ham!
3. DeMarcus Cousins got a tattoo on his leg that says mis-understood. If you got a tattoo that would describe you in one word, what would it be? Sid thinks his might say #WhyDoesSidHate. I don’t have a sweet clue as to what I’d get on my body.
Another solid show by the guys today. With regards to the first segment, I’m not going to lie, but until Sid brought up the “banks don’t see couples fighting” I was bored sh**tless. Up until that point, I wasn’t entirely sure what they were talking about and I’m glad Sid put the Dow Jones news into words that I could understand. Steve Williams took up most of the first segment and great points were made by both Tim and Sid. But I could tell that Sid was not budging on his belief that Williams was being a complete douche. I’ll give an A to Coulson for today’s updates. Not because they were any good, but because he handled Tim and Sid destroying his updates with class. He could of pulled a Pizzo and swore, but he hung in there, smiled, and laughed. Again, Sansone brought some humour to the show and it was interesting to hear his take on the Steve Williams’ comments – I also liked that he cleared up the issue of “what exactly is shkeef?” Finally, a pretty good Rapid Fire by Bronsteter spells a successful show for everyone. 9/10.
A-Rod’s got his back up.
And Timmy, isn’t back.
Famous, run that bitch!”
Good afternoon peeps and happy Thursday. Hopefully everyone in Tim and Sid nation are looking forward to the upcoming weekend. Welcome to the Tim and Sid: Uncut‘s episode review for August 4th, the day we celebrate the birthday of Roger Clemens and mourn the death of Japanese soccer player, Naoki Matsuda. Sid is once again flying solo in the radio booth, Tim continues to be home laid out, Bronsteter is looking for calendar iPhone apps., and Dave Coulson – the man of many talents – fills in for Johnny “drinks a lot” Noon. Items up for discussion today that may or may not be addressed include: Charles Barkley, World Cup Qualifying, Fedor, Hot Bodies, Pippa, SIRIUS, Roger Goodell, A-Rod, Doug Fister, and Breaking News.
As mentioned in the introduction, Tim Micallef is once again absent. Our boy is still at home curled up in a ball thanks to a bout of food poisoning. The breaking news today comes from a couple of TimandSid-izens:
Sean via Twitter: “Stock rises in ass cream as Tim Micallef’s asshole expands for the third day in a row.”
John via Email: “Tim now has pinkeye #shitty” “If you mean pinkeye of the intestine, you’re absolutely right.”, responded Sid.
Stephen via Twitter: “Tim, can you veto Sid Seixeiro from playing the sounds regarding yesterday’s podcast. I’m fine with fart jokes but #growuppeterpan.” Sid responds to Stephen’s concern by saying that he had nothing to do with the soundbites. “I want to say on air, it was all Bronsteter’s idea completely. I’m a bit more mature than that.”
Goodella The Hun & The NFL
As mentioned on Tim and Sid: Uncut last week, it was announced that the NFL lockout was over and free agency could begin. While many thought the lockout was officially over, the matter wasn’t completely closed. The settlement between the players and owners was done, but the actual collective bargaining agreement wasn’t quite completed as there were a few issues the two sides could only discuss once the players returned to union status:
1. Personal Conduct Policy. For years now, players have been upset about the policy because as it stands now, Roger Goodell is the“judge, jury, and executioner on any untoward incident that’s off the field.” said Sid. Players were demanding or wanted some sort of third-party to determine discipline.
2. Drug Testing. The NFL were attempting to install a system of testing for athletes.
Results: According to Sid, players in the agreement were supposedly going to fight and try to get a third party to help determine discipline. What did players learn today? “Goodell is God – nothing’s changing.” So much for what players were saying over the last three months. And with regards to the second issue? Today in the NFL, a new drug testing policy was introduced; specifically for HGH. For the first time in history, a North American league will be doing blood testing. Sid goes on to say that it will be an annual, random blood test for players that will happen with the Player’s Union consent. “I think the NFL is ready to drop the needle on the players so to speak.”, said Sid. “And the whizzinator really isn’t much of a factor anymore.” Sid believes this is huge news because for the last few months, the Player’s Union swore they’d fight for these two things and now “they got takin’ to the fuckin’ cleaners.” “They essentially decided to take money over freedoms.”, replied Bronsteter. The boys go on to discuss how this will effect the other leagues. There’s going to be meetings in the NHL, MLB, and the NBA (in the next CBA) shortly in an attempt to try and mimic what Roger Goodell was just able to pull off.
Fister! Furbush! WINNING!
Before Sid gets into more news from the sports world today, he quickly gave a shout out and congratulations to Doug Fister and Charlie Furbush. Since being traded to their respective teams, both players took to the mound and collected W’s. “Furbush trimmed down the opposition.”, said Sid. A TimandSid-izen was also good enough to send the show Jim Leyland’s quote after Doug Fister’s win for the Detroit Tigers, “That Fister is pretty good at making batters mishit the ball.” Sid goes on to say that “Of his 99 pitches, only 26 were balls.”
The Myth, The Legend, Fedor Emelianenko Is Released
The next topic up for discussion between the boys was the recent news that Fedor Emelianenko has been released and no longer has a job with Strikeforce. After his loss to Dan Henderson this past weekend, reporters were just waiting for Dana White to make the announcement. From the sound of Sid’s voice, the firing is bittersweet for him but he understands that losing three fights in a row, in a promotion fight, is not the way to go if you want to stay employed. I have to side with Sid on this one – Fedor went up against some of the best fighters in the world and never lost a fight for seven years. He was practically a myth, a legend, a god-like figure for a period of time. But now? Not so much unfortunately and now that’s he’s been released from Strikeforce, what does he do next? “If you’re a free agent and you have an axe to grind with Dana White, that’s a problem.”, said Sid.
Dave Coulson went on to give his two cents and noted that Fedor’s contract is currently with Showtime. M-1 Global still has one show left with Showtime that was part of Fedor’s contract so there’s a possibility that M-1 Global will probably have Fedor on their next event. And if they want to give the UFC the finger, maybe they’ll match him up with Alistair Overeem. Sid and Bronsteter can see that fight being a draw but then what? Both go to Japan? Either way I don’t think Dana White will care; as far as he’s concerned, he’s done with the both of them. Bronsteter brings up an interesting point though – It’s strange the way that Fedor lost the way he did in the last three fights, he lost three ways that people said he couldn’t be beat: Submission, Doctor Stoppage, and Knockout.
Spiderman, Jason Bourne, and The Alex Rodriguez Gambling Update
Before Coulson’s Updates, Sid quickly brings up the story the boys were talking about yesterday regarding the gambling allegations towards the New York Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez. More news surfaced today from the story that reported that the other people at the poker table with A-Rod were Tobey Maguire, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Leonardo DiCaprio. “That’s a power table. You have Spiderman, King of the World, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck, who piggy-backed Matt Damon to an Oscar.” While A-Rod’s publicists are denying the story, Sid goes on to say that he sees MLB’s concern, but still sees no issue if he was playing poker.
Interesting Facts From Dave Coulson’s Updates
If you missed yesterday’s show, Pizzo let the TimandSid-izens know that he was off to Mexico for the next couple of weeks for his brother’s wedding.“Pizzo is in Mexico taking care of some cartel business.” said Sid. So for today’s updates, Dave Coulson, the Double Dipper, a versatile human being, the Bo Jackson of Tim and Sid: Uncut, will be providing the half-time news.
1. While some NBA players are heading overseas for work, the Bucks’ Brandon Jennings is doing something completely different. The “Curator of Cool” is taking an internship with Under Armour and is receiving some pretty sweet perks. He’s gets access to the CEO’s jeep, a name plate that reads “Curator of Cool”, use of Under Armour’s workout facility, and a condo. Coulson goes on to say that Jennings is also helping develop a new sneaker fashioned after the bumper of a Bugatti luxury car.
2. Boxing superstar Manny Pacquiao’s popularity continues to rise as he gets another boost with his rendition of Dan Hill’s hit “Sometimes When We Touch”. The song has just hit #10 on the Adult Contemporary Music Charts this week.
3. “Do you ride a bike Sid?” asked Coulson. “I have a car. I’m a grown-up.” replied Sid. Coulson goes on to ask Sid if he gets pissed off by bicyclists on the side of the road? Sid goes on to say that he only gets mad at the dudes who weave in and around traffic and the guys who think they’re “Johnny Tour de France”. “I hope both of them get run over.” cried Sid. The reason for the line of questioning by Coulson was that it appears a bicyclist took matters into his own hands in retaliation. Infuriated with motorists parking their luxury cars illegally around the capital of Vilnius, the Mayor, Arturas Zuokas took the drastic step of driving an armoured vehicle over a Mercedes Benz, which was parked in a cycle lane. “Sounds like something Rob Ford would do.” responded Sid.
4. Jersey Shore 4 airs tonight on MTV. The guidos take over Italy.
TimandSid-izens Deliver Some Twitter Feedback
Jay Glazer via Twitter: The NFL Collective Bargaining Agreement has been ratified.
Dave via Twitter: Requested a 21st Birthday shout-out. Sid did just that.
Logan via Twitter: Jesse Litsch reminds me of you. Looks like he doesn’t really do the whole “diet” thing either #MaryBrowns #FatFuck
Michael via Twitter: Canada’s Wonderland can go fuck itself. In response to this tweet, Bronsteter goes on to say that he used to work at Canada’s Wonderland – he used to work at the Guess Your Weight Scale. Apparently he would never guess above 180lbs for the ladies, even when girls at least 350lbs rolled on the scale.
Brent via Twitter: Hey Sid, your boy Ice Cube is in the Deion Sanders Hall of Fame documentary. Bronsteter brings up the fact that it’s pretty ironic considering they were talking about how crappy his documentaries were. “If you’re anywhere near the California area, Ice Cube is a source. You can’t get away from Ice Cube.” said Sid.
TimSidizen via Email via Phil Peoples via Facebook: Phil, a huge fan of Tim and Sid: Uncut doesn’t have twitter so he asked if I could send the link on to the boys. It was a list for the hottest celebrity body – winner being Helen Mirren. Sid’s a fan of the GILF, but he’s not sure she should be at the top of any list. You could click here for a list of some other women voted to have hottest body. But according to Sid, “No poll like this should take place unless Selma Hayek is in the poll. Did you see her on Ugly Betty?”
Tiger Woods Debuts A Goatee
All eyes were on Tiger Woods today as he was competing in his first golf tournament in awhile. Woods, coming off a three month lay-off was competing in the Bridgestone Invitational this week. As of right now, Jason Day leads the pack with 10-under and Tiger is sitting at 2-under. Not typical Tiger, but it is his first day – it’ll be interesting to see how his second day goes. At least he made it through the first round.
Greg Sansone Tweet Watch
Canada’s 2014 World Cup Qualifying Schedule
* See previous post for full details of Seixeiro’s Soccer Canada speech.
A huge Rapid Fire from Bronsteter today as it includes CUT or UNCUT questions from TimandSid-izens around the nation. Topics include Chicken, Beer, Pizza Toppings, and Debit Cards.
1. Giving a beer your buddy just bought you to a girl that you’re trying to pick up. CUT or UNCUT? If I was not “engaged”, I think my buddy would have no problem with me giving a beer to a chick in order to get some – he’d actually be proud to have helped – UNCUT.
2. Booing a player at practice. CUT or UNCUT? Completely CUT. It’s practice and if you enjoy watching practice while being a boob, security should throw you out.
3. Paying for a slurpee with a debit card. CUT or UNCUT? UNCUT – I’ve bought $2 coffees at Starbucks. I never have cash.
4. Shitting at the club. CUT or UNCUT? UNCUT as long as you wipe.
5. Eating just the skin off KFC chicken. CUT or UNCUT? CUT. You can’t leave any meat on the bone…complete Foss if you do.
6. Pizza places that say a gourmet topping counts as two toppings. CUT or UNCUT? CUT. All toppings should be equivalent.
7. Couples sharing a Facebook account. CUT or UNCUT? CUT! This is complete CUT. If a girl asks you she wants to share a FB account, it means she doesn’t trust you and vice versa. Get out of the relationship.
Great show by the boys today. I don’t know what it is, but it seems like each episode keeps getting bigger and bigger. I used to do reviews that included roughly 1000 words, but over the past month, I’ve consistently hit over 2500 – I need to soon quit my job if they start getting any bigger. Awesome show though – I’m beginning to miss Tim but Sid is doing a great job by himself – he’s a solid A+. Great opening about Tim – again I like the fan interaction. Solid breakdown by the boys on the Roger Goodell and Fedor stories; I was impressed with Dave Coulson’s knowledge of MMA and his updates today. Where the “F” has this kid been? I’ve heard him fill in for Noon before but he’s hardly said anything before – representin’ KW. Best part of the day though belonged to Sid’s rant on Canada’s Soccer. Our boy threw down and hopefully people listen and get out to BMO to support the soccer team. Hey, my chick hates soccer but she loves going to Toronto FC games for the beer and fresh air. It’s a great way to hang out! Huge CUT or UNCUT by Bronsteter – I think this was one of the biggest Rapid Fire segments in awhile. For the amount of content, Salma’s breasts, and Sid’s rant – 10/10.
Ochocinco lands in Foxboro.
Vince Young lands in the link.
And Uganda’s Little League team,
Can’t land in the States.
(Sid: I just threw it in there because I wanted to talk about Kamala.)
(Sid: That’s the only reason I wanted that story.)
(Tim: Will you slap your belly?)
(Tim: Ohhh, Ohhh, Famous run that bitch!”
Welcome to another Tim and Sid: Uncut review folks. The boys had a solid show on Friday and since it was the long weekend, you could tell they were ready to deliver more edu-tainment than sports. Bronsteter was joined by Dave Coulson behind the glass, Tim and Sid were set to go, and “Charlie Chats Up” Noon was on holiday getting shit faced somewhere. Items up for discussion today included: Roy Williams, Roger Clemens, Tiger, Greg Olsen, Colby Rasmus, Canada Basketball, Surveys, Roberto Alomar, and Friday, Friday, Friday.
Casual Friday and the $43,000 Contractor
Before the boys get into any sport chatter, they both bring up the fact that it’s Friday – it’s the long weekend and both sound pretty excited. Sid drops the news that he’s as relaxed as one could be right now, so relaxed that he showed up today at work with jeans and a t-shirt on. Tim finds it strange because he’s never really seen Sid dress down so to speak; he really hasn’t seen outside the studios. “You came in my backyard once.”, said Tim. “And by backyard, I mean behind the house.”
Conversation between the boys then flows into the recent estimate delivered to him by a contractor. Micallef has a 30-year pool behind his house and problems are starting to arise: the concrete is coming up, his pipes are leaking, and it’s just plain old. And with his little boy growing up, the family is going to want to use it more often in the future. Anyways, he had a contractor come in and after an inspection, he told Tim that it would take about $43,000 to fix it. WTF? That’s more money than I make in a year for christ’s sake. “You might as well purchase a CFL wide receiver for that.”, replied Sid. It’s just a ridiculous price; Sid throws out a challenge to all the TimandSid-izens to help Tim and his pool issue and if they know any pool contractors in the GTA area that are good, let Uncle Timmy know. Tim’s going to try and get some more quotes and hopefully going to get a better deal with someone.
Uganda’s Little League and Kamala
Kamala Theme Song – WWF
Shitty news for a Ugandan youth baseball team that would have been the first from Africa to play in the Little League World Series. The team was denied visas over players’ age discrepancies this week and won’t be able to enter the States. “You think the Tour of France is crooked? This fuckin’ Little League World Series is the worst thing ever.” Tim sounds just as pissed with the idea and responds with, “To sully a 12-year old baseball game?” Ridiculous! The actual reason that Sid wanted to bring up the topic though is because it would allow him to bring up The Ugandan Giant, Kamala. For those that don’t know, Kamala “James Harris” was an American professional wrestler whose popularity rose when he wrestled in the WWF during the 80’s and ’90’s. The guys reminisce about Kamala, his antics, his new folk singing career, and old school WWF vignettes. Some of Sid’s favourites included those belonging to Mr. Perfect.
Boom Goes the NFL Pen!
Tim and Sid finally break into some great NFL Free Agency discussion. Today is especially important because at 6:01PM ET, signings between players and teams will officially begin. While we’ve been hearing trade rumours and agreements, nothing is final until this evening – “Women be press conferencin'”, cried Sid. Some of the big name players up for discussion and small points made during this segment included:
1. Kevin Kolb is a different bird – he’s left the Philadelphia Eagles for the Arizona Cardinals
2. Nnamdi Asomugha sweepstakes continues: front runners for the cornerback include the New York Jets and Dallas Cowboys (We now know he went to the Philadelphia Eagles)
3. Players in the Jets organization are being asked to restructure their contracts in order to help sign Asomugha: Mark Sanchez volunteered to do it and Darrelle Revis has been asked to do the same thing
4. Sid gives a little shout-out to the Carolina Panthers for some of their moves
5. Tim can’t get over the fact that the Chicago Bears haven’t made any big moves, besides Roy Williams, especially for a team with NFC aspirations, “What are they waiting for?”
6. After the signings of Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ochocinco by the New England Patriots must have sent a buzz through the New York Jets’ offices. Both Tim and Sid believes they’ll be making some moves just to keep up with the Patriots
7. Rumours are that New England’s Belichick is going to make one more run at the Superbowl before he retires
8. Sid attempts to ask Tim to make a prediction who he thinks will be a Superbowl pick in each conference. Tim seems to side step the question and a just lists a few teams who he thinks won’t be there; The Colts for example
9. News is released that Greg Sansone is “tweeting up a fuckin’ storm right now.” If you need to know anything about the NFL free agency, follow this V.P of television
Tim and Sid do spend some time on one particular deal involving the New England Patriots. Both of them really like the move, especially after seeing the following youtube clip showing the relationship between Belichick and Ochocinco.
According to Sid, it seems like they have a great relationship; they really seem to get along. “There’s a good chemistry there and they look like they’ve known each other for years.”, said Sid. They both also agree that Ochocinco will honour Belichick’s system and will end up being a big asset for Tom Brady. In regards to all the VH1/twitter shit that Chad takes part in, they can see Belichick shutting that stuff down in hopes of getting Chad to just football. There was also quick discussion on Ochocinco, NE’s Aaron Hernandez, and the #85. Right now, Hernandez owns #85 and sits in a great position to get Chad to pay some big dough in order to get the jersey number. “I’m hoping he bent Chad Johnson over.”, cried Tim.
“What do you think about Young going to the Eagles?”, Tim asks Sid. “Is that not now the most athletic 1-2 QB punch in the history of the fucking planet? You have Vince Young and Michael Vick who can run for days.”, replied Sid. Both guys again seem to like the move and Tim especially feels that if Young can go in there, shut his mouth and just play football, his stock value for the following year can only increase. Bronsteter throws out names like Garcia and Kolb who’ve made it big after being a backup with the Eagles organization, “If you’re a backup quarterback, being in Philly is the place to be.”
Kamala’s Folk Songs
Bronsteter breaks the NFL free agent chatter by playing some of the folk music from Kamala as discussed earlier in the show. The guys can’t believe it’s really him, “This is the same man I once saw bite a man’s forehead open.”, said Sid. You can listen to some of the tunes by clicking here. Tim believes it kind of sounds like Bobby McFerrin, the American grammy winner vocalist and conductor known for his hit, shit song, Don’t Worry Be Happy. “Bobby McFerrin can go fuck himself.”, cried Sid. Tim seems to be giving McFerrin some credit because the singer won a grammy and sells out shows in Europe – he’s huge over there. Bronsteter backs up McFerrin’s popularity by throwing out an interesting statistic: McFerrin won a grammy, but The Who and Jimmy Hendrix never. Sid’s not buying into the hype though, the best memory of McFerrin for him belonged to the episode from Family Guy.
Interesting Facts From Our Boy, Rob Pizzo
Pizzo starts off the show by playing a little Live Bobby McFerrin. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the clip that Rob chose but it gives a good example of how horrible it is. I’m one for singing, not people making dying cat noises.
They boys go on to discuss McFerrin some more and a TimandSid-izen writes in letting us know that McFerrin has actually one 10 grammy awards. Wow! Who knew you could win all those awards by making slurs with your voice. The boys also discuss the fact that McFerrin did the theme song for season 4 of The Cosby Show. There’s mutual love for that show, but it’s agreed upon that once Cousin Pam showed up, it went downhill. Pizzo compared it to jumping the shark. “Fuck Pam, where’s Rudy?”, cried Sid. While Alvin, Theo, and Vince were some of the funnier characters, an all-time favourite had to of been Peter.
1. After being traded to the New England Patriots recently, sources close to Ochocinco say that the wide receiver will do whatever it takes to sport #85 for his jersey. Probably not the best words to use when going into a negotiation. This story reminds Sid of the movie The Fan starring Robert De Niro and Wesley Snipes. During the film, when Juan Primo won’t give up his number to Wesley Snipes, Robert De Niro (The Fan) takes matters into his own hands and kills the guy. Here’s the trailer…
2. The cameras caught New Jersey Nets power forward Kris Humphries declaring his celebrity fiancé Kim Kardashian the second most beautiful woman in the world. For the record, Humphries believes his mom to be the most beautiful. “He’s mom must have nice tits.”, added Sid.
3. If you remember from yesterday, Pizzo announced that Jalen Rose was for a DUI. Well it seems the twitter hate has been pouring in. How does Jalen respond? He deleted the tweet after but I have a screen capture of it below.
Tim and Sid’s ASKMEN.COM
ASKMEN.COM is a men’s online magazine offering the best advice on dating, secrets of love, celebrity biography, relationships and health. The other day, Tim, Sid, Producer Roger Lafleur and Andrea Cuccaro were discussing some of the questions that were asked on the survey. In what I call a hilarious segment and one that MK fully listened to with me, the following items discussed were:
1. Is it important for a girlfriend to have wife potential?
“Bronsteter, I’ll ask you. You used to crush ass.”, Sid.
“And by crushed ass he means masturbate.”, Tim.
Bronsteter answers the question with a “No.”
2. Would you dump a girlfriend if she became fat?
Tim believes that “YES”, he would dump a girlfriend if she became fat and it seems that 47% of men agree with him.
3. Are you comfortable with a partner friending her ex’s on Facebook?
Tim answers “YES” to the question and responds with “I’m confident in my ability to schkeef. I’m not worried.”, cries Tim. 44% of men agree with Micallef.
4. Have you ever lied about the number of sex partners you’ve had?
Tim absolutely refuses to address this question. “I refuse to have this conversation and refuse to have this conversation with my wife. I don’t want to know her number. She shouldn’t want to know my number.” Bronsteter agrees with Tim who goes on to say to guys who think they are going to find a virgin. “You’re not finding a virgin. So guess what, the woman you’re with has been run through before.”
5. Have you ever fantasized about a partner’s friend?
“I’m going to throw in / sister.”, says Sid. 37% of men said “Yes, but I try to avoid it now.” Meaning they wanted to before?
6. Would you be willing to tell your partner that you would like to engage in a fantasy together?
“I don’t like that one.”, responded Tim.
7. Can you tell if a woman is faking an orgasm?
Tim goes on to say that you can’t, but Sid responds with a funny bite, “If a woman tells me she’s having an orgasm, I know she’s lying. I know me.”
8. Have you ever had sex with a co-worker?
Neither one of the guys answer this question but according to Sid, “56% of men said no, but i would if the opportunity.”
9. Is it ever okay to pay for sex?
“I think if you’re a fucking loser with money, it’s fine.”, replies Sid. And Tim follows up with the idea that if you’re going to die a virgin, then yes…you got pay the dough to get some love.
10. Bronsteter, would you change your penis size if you could?
“I can. I just use my hand.”, replies Orville. From hear, you can hear Uncle Timmy mimicking vomiting noises in the background.
They also refer back to the CUT or UNCUT question that was brought up yesterday regarding if it was okay for guys to do yoga? Tim believes that it’s a great spot to meet women, but Sid isn’t buying that theory at all. He believes that the ratio of men to women would be the same if you went to a Backstreet Boys concert. The only question I ask Sid, how do you meet a chick in amongst 20,000 fans screaming the names of said bandmates. They are not looking to fuck you, they’re looking to fuck the boy band. In yoga though, “ladies be wearin'” LuLu Lemon, you’re in a quiet room, sometimes have to partner up, and sometimes you might have to press your crotch against their wonderful lady lumps. It’s a win-win.
They finish up this segment by mentioning that there was a women’s section to this and that they’ll discuss it at a later date to which Bronsteter responds, “Who gives a shit what they have to say.” #WhyDoesBronsteterHateWomen?
* I’ll be doing up a separate entry of this discussion….so stay tuned.
Bronsteter seemed to not have a lot of time today, but he still managed to throw out a couple of good questions.
1. Apparently some guy in the States preformed a medical procedure on himself with a butterknife. Which medical procedure scares you most? Tim mentions he had a hernia when he was 3-years old. Probably all of them? I guess any working around the heart, important organs, would scare the shit out of me.
2. On Sunday, the Jays are giving out bobbleheads of Roberto Alomar in honour of his Hall of Fame induction. If you could have a bobblehead of anyone else other than yourself, who would you have? I’m always seeing bobbleheads of male athletes…how about some bobbleheads of women’s beach volleyball players?
3. In a recent New York poll, Derek Jeter and Babe were named the greatest Yankees of all-time ahead of players like Joe Dimaggio and Lou Gehrig. Who do you think is the greatest Yankee of all-time? I agree with Tim and Sid on this one. Lou Gehrig, hands down. The guy played for years with a disease and still produced at the ballpark – he still showed up. He should win for heart alone. To be honest, I’m actually surprised to see Jeter on the list.
Definitely up there for one of the more random episodes of Tim and Sid: Uncut in awhile. From Kamala, Pool, Dress Down Fridays, and ASKMEN.COM, it was filled with more edu-tainment than sports. But I like this…it’s Friday, gives us a break and allows us to just enjoy random shit for a change. The NFL discussion was great though. I had never seen the video of Ochocinco and Belichick before so it was definitely an eye opener to see that particular relationship. It will be interesting to see how it will play out this season. The Bobby McFerrin discussion was hilarious and it brought back memories of The Cosby Show, Peter, and the 80’s. Solid segments by Pizzo and Bronsteter. I think Bronsteter was pumped for the weekend too because our boy was throwing stones and comedy for the whole hour. From crushing ass, to changing his penis size, to hating women, he brought his A+ game. Because MK sat with me during this episode and actually laughed throughout the last 30 minutes and was entertained, 10/10.
Eagles calling themselves the “The Dream Team”? We all know that name belongs to the NBA Champion Miami Heat – Greg Sansone, theScore
I can’t wait for Tim and Sid: Uncut next week. After all the shit that’s gone down since Friday, next week’s shows should be jam-packed with NFL free agent talk. In particular, the moves made by the Philadelphia Eagles. The organization made some monster moves over the last couple of days and many, besides the team, are already calling them “The Dream Team” of the NFL – contenders for the Superbowl. Don’t get me wrong, as an Eagles fan, I haven’t been this excited for the season to start since the days of “Starship 12” / “Rocket Man” / “Rockin’ Randall Cunningham” but until I see them in action, I’m not tweeting any #SuperbowlLock #EaglesChampions hashtags, like a lot of people I’ve seen write on twitter. I’m simply going to smile and go about my business.
* Newly acquired Vince Young, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Jason Babin, Nnamdi Asomugha, and Cullen Jenkins
The reason for the Philadelphia Eagles entry though is actually in regards to a tweet I saw this morning from @EaglesInsider:
Baby Daddies…Clue…Risk…Steroids…Matt Cooke? What do they all have in common? Each one is part of the BEST OF Tim and Sid: Uncut “Master-Debaters” where both Tim and Sid dug deep and have some of their best #realtalk about particular topics. The following is a breakdown from Tuesday’s episode.
1. Cheap shots in hockey and how they’ll affect the game.
2. Manny Ramirez surprises everyone and retires from MLB.
3. Lance Armstrong. Is he a hero or a fraud?
4. Antonio Cormartie joins the Baby Daddy All-Star Club.
5. “Clue is for losers.” and the board game debate.
You can catch the full episode of BEST OF Tim and Sid: “Master-Debaters” at the following here.
It’s Friday ladies and gentlemen, the end of the April is upon us, and it’s the Royal Wedding Day – WOOOOO! Tim was working alone again today – Sexy Sid is off covering UFC 129 and should be back on Monday. I’m sure Sid will have lots to talk about come next week. Tim had a little pre-sulk at the beginning of the show with regards to Thursday’s action in both the NHL and NBA. And who could blame him. Lakers, Hawks, and Mavericks all pulled out wins and finished their respective series – No games 7’s baby. And the first game in the 2nd round of the NHL playoffs (VAN vs. NSH) didn’t quite live up to previous games in the first round. Sport fans have been spoiled in both sports over the last couple of weeks.
Today’s show includes retired American professional hockey player, once Vancouver Canuck – Bret Hedican, the Score’s James Sharman, Royal Wedding talk, and random guest of the week….the man who sells $15 sneakers and plays for the Foshan Dralions – Stephon Marbury.
*Disclaimer – Bronsteter decided to try something out for today’s show, an experiment if you will. He texted Tim last night and threw out the idea of trying to get Marbury on the show. It sounded like the initial reaction by Tim was, “What the hell?”, but hey, that’s what the show is all about, expect the unexpected.
1988 NHL Entry Draft Pick, 198th Overall, Bret Hedican @BretHedican
Tim wasted no time getting into this segment of the show. To be honest, the transition took me by surprise, but that’s the way I like. Immediately get into the meat of the interview. Brets loved the playoffs so far and has really been impressed with the level of play. With regards to his former team, he really likes the way the Vancouver Canucks are playing. After last night’s win over the Predators, he suggests that Nashville really need to step up their game if they want to win. Tim inquired about Ballard’s hit on Jordin Tootoo and he felt is was great hit. Unfortunately clipping was called by the refs, but that’s part of the NHL. While Bret didn’t like the call, he understands how difficult it can be at times to be a referee.
Tim followed with a great question: Who has more pressure? Luongo or Thornton? Bret found this a tough one to answer. He did give some pretty cool insight however and an answer I didn’t expect. He believed that Lui struggled during the Gold medal Olympic run. And while he did play great at times, he never stole the spotlight and it was his teammates in front of him who were the stars. He thinks Lui might have some self-doubt. But like all professional athletes, that’s part of the game. They need to find the desire and have to dig deep. With regards to the Sharks, Tim wonders whether or not time is running out for them to win the cup? Bret figures age is catching up to the boys – they’re not as fast as they once were. They’re more of a puck control group; they need to make their run now. Some of Hedican’s “games to watch” for the second round include the PHI/BOS and DET/SHARKS. He truly believes secondary players are the ones that will make the difference in these games.
Interesting Facts from Pizzo’s update:
1. Some UFC fighters believe vibrations caused by music during weigh-ins increases one’s weight. Sounds like someone got hit in the head too many times.
2. In response to a sportswriter who called the Atlanta Hawks “bird brains”. Josh Smith channeled his inner Sid Seixeiro after they beat the Magic and told the reporter, “In Yo Face.”
3. Mick Foley, known to many as Mankind, is in financial trouble. In order to recoup some of his money, he’s having a firesale on Ebay. You can check all his items available for sale at the following link: pickels01 Let’s hope this 10-yr old kid who bought William Perry’s ring buys all of Foley’s stuff and gives it back to him as well.
4. The guy who designed Mike Tyson’s face tattoo is trying to shut down Hangover 2. Apparently he says he owns the right to the tattoo and claims copyright infringement. (Ed Helms’ character is seen sporting the tattoo in the new trailer)
5. And Gloria Allred is once again in the news. I can’t even sum up this update and I’d advise that you check out the video below. I definitely don’t agree with what Roger McDowell is accused of doing, but to demonstrate in front of your kids? Not the best thing.
James “The Brit” Sharman
What a treat for Tim and Sidizens – producer and sportscaster on the Score was a special correspondent for the Royal Wedding. Well, not quite. Our boy Sharman was actually doing some stories on the upcoming Olympics, sport academies, and how bright sports is looking in the country. However he did have some insightful thoughts on the big wedding day.
1. Pippa (Kate’s sister) stole the show. “Pippa, Bloody Hell”
2. “Harry better be in that. If you’re the Prince, you better get some.” (re: Pippa)
3. The Monarchy is not what it once was. There are no more beheadings.
4. James Sharman considers drinking beer a sport.
5. “The pub is packed, beers are flowing beautifully, and the girls are lovely.”
I was still at work when this segment of the show came on and had to stop listening. Sharman is a funny guy and he seems to bring out the foul language and laughter with Timmy. I couldn’t stop laughing myself and this doesn’t bode well when all my co-workers are staring at me (I usually listen to the show with my earphones). Best part though was when Tim was ending the interview and saying goodbye. Tim’s exact words, “I’m going to leave you so you can get back to your 8th pint.” silence….silence….Sharman had already hung up. You really can’t let your beer get cold.
Time was running short but I could tell by the sound of his voice, Tim was ready for a mini-rant on the recent NFL draft. He basically wanted to say that all the hype surrounding the NFL draft is “Bullshit!“. Most sports, especially the NFL, hype up ever single player that’s drafted. Every guy is a considered a pro, and no one has the balls to say he’s a bust. We’re all made to believe that dudes drafted in the 4th round are better than they actually are. He goes on to make a great point – some of these players drafted will make half the money that some older, veteran secondary players are currently making. It’s all about saving money. Cut the old dude and hire the “bust” in order to save money. I agree with him completely. Tim also throws out a great stat that I never really thought of: 50% of the first round draft picks in pretty much ever sport are busts. Both himself and Bronsteter gave lots of examples to prove their points.
As with every Friday, Bronsteter does a run down of things learned throughout the show in the past week. Some important items were:
1. Tim and Sid: Uncut have a new unofficial blog. Thanks for reading guys.
2. The show is moving from channel 98 to channel 158.
3. Tim and Sidizens had the honour of learning that Ranallo is uncut.
4. Tim can call Kevin Weekes – “Weeksie” (Tim is not 100% sure of this though)
5. Eddie Olczyk thinks Ilya Bryzgalov should go to goalie school, especially in Winnipeg.
6. It’s time to put a dagger in Chelsea Dagger for now.
7. Noon would rather a Hole-in-one than a free BMW.
Rapid Fire was a huge improvement over yesterday’s. Maybe it was just the topics available, who knows…it’s only my opinion.
– What food would you want to make a sculpture of your head with? Ribs and Frozen Guinness was mentioned. I’m going to go with stacked meat patties.
– Moosehead with Ketchup Chips vs. Pickles with Ketchup: Natalie Portman, when pregnant, loved pickles and ketchup. I think this is CUT. However Noon would like to see Portman eat a pickle. Timmy mentioned she eat a pickle with mayo instead, and well you know, the question went downhill from there… 🙂
– Who was your favourite member of the Royal Family? Tim just killed the Royal family. He called the Queen, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I’m going to pick Big Willie, he flies choppers.
End of a great week. With the help of Noon and Bronsteter, Uncle Timmy did a great job. There has to be a lot of prep work required for all the interviews and special guests. While today’s show had less sport talk, I really enjoyed it. It’s all about edu-tainment Tim and Sidizens. It keeps my better-half tuned in periodically – she’s not a big sports follower. To me, the show ends on a high note. 10/10
P.S. Thanks for all the responses, comments, suggestions this past week. Your support has been huge and it means a lot. I even appreciate all the shit from the trolls, haters, and dickheads – guess what? you guys matter too. The way I look at, if you’re not getting shit on from time to time, you’re not doing a good job. TF