“A-Rod’s in trouble.
Yadier Molina is in some trouble.
And Tim Micallef’s lower intestine, is in major trouble.
As in, he’s shitting a lot because he got food poisoning.
Famous run that bitch!”
Welcome to another Tim and Sid: Uncut episode review for August 3rd. It’s not only Hump Day, but it’s also Tom Brady’s birthday, so a big shout-out to the Patriots QB and from all the TimandSid-izens, we hope Giselle treats you right this evening. As mentioned, Micallef is not feeling so good and Sid is flying solo, Bronsteter and Noon have their fingers on the shitter soundbites, and Pizzo is excited for his trip to Mexico. Topics up for discussion this afternoon include: Brett Lawrie, Score Radio, Big Brother, ASKMEN.com, UFC 140, Tony LaRussa, Shea Weber, Alex Rodriguez, and Timmy “Shits a lot” Micallef.
Micallef Loses The Battle To Chicken Souvlaki
As mentioned at the top of the show, our boy Tim is home sick with a bout of food poisoning and feeling some intestinal pain.The story goes that Sid received a phone call last night from Tim and he “sounded like how Sarah Jessica Parker looks, fucking terrible.” According to Sid, it was like Tim just finished watching the documentary The Real Football Factories International: The Balkans. Anyways, our boy Uncle Timmy prepped the pre-cursor email and made phone calls to let people at theScore know that he might not be making it to work. But like any true professional, Tim apparently tried to “fight the good fight” by coming in and eventually lost. To further explain the situation, Tim actually called into the show to discuss what went down.
From the get go, you could tell that Tim was not feeling very good. His voice is raspy, the nose sounds stuffed up, and you could sense that he was feeling pain in the orfice that never sees the light of day. “You looked like a woman about to go out with Ryan Hains.”, said Sid (explaining what he looked like earlier in the day). Tim goes on to explain that his bout of food poisoning might be from the chicken souvlaki he had the night before. “Why do you have to blame the Greeks?”, cried Sid. Tim went on to say that he did come into work hoping it would get better but after throwing up in theScore’s bathroom that morning, he had to call it a day. I should note that throughout the entire conversation, Bronsteter and Noon are playing “shitting”, “coughing”, and “vomiting” soundbites in the background and Tim responds by saying,“Bronsteter, I’m going to punch you in the face.” He kept acknowledging the noises and threatened to hang up a few times but he never did. The boys also give kudos to Tim for sending out the email to let them know that he was sick and it sounded like Tim is known around the workplace for fashioning emails the night before to give all 18 supervisors a heads up. “You are the Brett Favre of fashioning emails the night before.”, said Sid. Micallef goes on to say that he had a 12-grain bagel and he should be in to work tomorrow. The stomach and the Cardinals #5 are getting better.
Alex Rodriguez Stars in the Film Rounders II
Once the fun of ribbing on Tim ended, Sid brought up the recent news that broke today involving A-Rod and gambling. According to the news, the New York Yankee slugger was involved in high-stakes illegal underground poker games and the MLB was currently investigating the situation. The report also went on to say that Rodriguez participated in Texas Hold’Em games at least twice and cocaine was said to be at one of the games. Sid went on to explain that Rodriguez had been warned in the past (2005) by the Yankees and Bud Selig about gambling and there’s a possibility he could face a suspension. According to Sid, there’s two sides to this story:
1. It’s a poker game – who cares.
2. It’s a serious thing – it mirrors the Pete Rose debate.
As of right now Cashman and the Yankees organization are playing dumb and saying they don’t know anything about the allegations. And if that’s the case, the team better get caught up to speed on the situation because it could have implications for them in the division standings should they start losing.
“But does MLB have the balls to suspend Alex Rodriguez for this incident?”, asks Sid. He doesn’t think they do because there are so many ball players out there now hanging out with these kinds of people (gamblers) and there’s no way the league can police that – it’s poker for christ’s sake. Noon agrees with Sid completely and believes the news reports are only sensationalizing the story by using words such as “underground” and “illegal”. “I went to college and I understand what goes on…This is no different than any other poker game…Just because it’s Alex Rodriguez and it’s baseball and gambling…People have to go and take the moral high ground? It’s bullshit.”, cried Noon. “Cocaine and poker. That’s a Friday night at Hainsers.”, replied Sid.
Shea Weber got his money! An arbitrator has just awarded Nashville defenceman Shea Weber $7.5 million U.S. for the upcoming season. According to Sid, that’s the largest arbitration award in the history of the league, “Weber be shoppin'”. The Predators were initally offering $4.75 million and Weber was looking for $8.5 million so this was a huge win for the defenceman. Sid goes on to congratulate Weber and believes being in Nashville with this kind of money is a great thing. “It’s a good party town, $7.5 million in arbitration, you can walk the streets unnoticed, and you have your privacy. If you’re a young NHL’er and you don’t want to deal with the zoo that is the Canadian hockey media market, it’s the place to be.”
Greg Sansone Is A Twitter Beast
Sid gets sidetracked momentarily and brings up Greg Sansone’s twitter again. Since the V.P of Television got twitter on his phone, he’s been tweeting up a storm and delivering some solid gold stuff. Today’s tweet from Greg was:
So from the sounds of it, “Pippa” in Italian slang means to masturbate.That is hilarious stuff – I think the next time Sansone tweets something like that, he needs to throw in @TLC as well. Bronsteter brings up a similar story that involved Buick. Apparently their Buick LaCrosse ads had to be pulled because in French, LaCrosse means masturbation. Sid then goes on to tell a quick story about Cam Stewart and DRAFTED 3. It seems our favourite host of Red Heat would tell the people on the set that “he would jerk off to 30-minute Workouts back in the day.” “Hey Gillette Execs, I’d like you to meet one of the guys that will be working on th show, Cam Stewart, I like wings and I jerked off to 30-minutes Workout.”, followed Noon.
Interesting Facts From “Mexican” Rob Pizzo’s Updates
To introduce the next segment, Pizzo plays some more shitting noises from earlier, during the discussion with Tim. Pizzo says that he feels for Micallef because he’s experienced similar pain before as well. For example, he has never gone on a trip in his life and not gotten sick. And that’s bad news for him because Pizzo is on his way to Mexico for the next couple of weeks for his brother’s wedding. Noon makes the suggestion that Pepto Bismol works for him but Sid questions whether that particular stuff is any good. “Do you know what’s worse? Shitting your intestines out for four days.”, responded Noon.
1. Recently, while at a photo shoot for Tapout mouth guards and Real G wristbands, Ochocinco, who is now a member of the New England Patriots, continued his trend in calling out UFC fighter Georges St. Pierre and all of Canada. Pizzo called the following video below “poking the bear”.
They do quickly speak about the news that UFC 140 will be coming to Toronto and Sid wonders if we might see a Cain Velasquez vs. Junior Dos Santos match-up. According to Bronsteter though, if that fight takes place, it will be at UFC 139. It makes you wonder though with Dana White loading all the events this Fall, what’s going to happen when it comes time for the New Year’s Eve and Superbowl events. UFC fighters need time to heal after a match.
2. On a recent episode of Conan, Shaq was asked if there was an analyst that ever called him out on air and whether or not he got angry. At first he didn’t say anything, but right before Conan goes into another subject, he calls out Skip Bayless. Sid seems to agree and calls out Skip himself, “The best part is that Skip Bayless does it to himself…you’re a middle of the road American guy trying to be that level of an ESPN Insider. It’s ain’t happening.”
3. On the day Ray Horton was leaving for his new job as defensive coordinator with the Arizona Cardinals, he parked his car, a 1999 Mercedes Benz convertible in front of the team’s office complex and went inside to say goodbye to the cafeteria staff. He approached one of the staff members and asked him how much money he had in his pocket. The employee told him $20 – then Horton took the money and gave him the Benz.
With that, Pizzo said goodbye to the boys and Sid wished him all the best and tells him to have a safe trip. “Remember Pizzo, you can safely smuggle seven keys over any boarder.” “In my Pujols?”, responded Pizzo. From all the TimandSid-zens, have a great trip Rob.
Twitter Messages From TimandSid-izens
Terence: Just wanted to send Sid a note to say that he hopes he didn’t ruin Sid’s and the better-half’s day at Roberto Alomar Day. Our boy Terrence was the one who screamed out “Fister” to Sid at the Jays’ game on Sunday. “Thank you Terrence for that lovely moment.”, replied Sid.
Ryan: Would you watch Kris Kardashian’s (Kim’s mother) sex tape? Sid says that he probably wouldn’t watch it, but Noon said he would be open to checking it out. Bronsteter also agreed with Sid, but Seixeiro doesn’t believe Mr. RadarOnline.
Rich Longo: Our boy Rich sent in the following picture of Casey Anthony’s first night of freedom.
Justin: Wrote in to say he was watching the episode of the The Cosby Show where Cliff wants to eat pulpeta.
Augie: Is it just me or is Ice Cube in every sports documentary? The boys agree with Augie and bring up the shitty episode of ESPN’s 30 for 30. “His Raiders documentary in the 30 for 30 was the fucking worst one. One of the worst.” Bronsteter agrees with Sid and goes on to suggest that another bad episode from the series was Unmatched. This documentary focused on the rivalry between Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova and Sid goes on to say, “That’s where ESPN has to say, you know guys…let’s call this 29 for 29. Let’s not do 30 films.” You can watch a little bit of the documentary below and I got through maybe 2 minutes. The couch/coffee setup kind of seemed odd.
Nassau Coliseum and Charles Wang
Just after Sid finished reading out some twitter messages from listeners, he wanted to address the recent news that came out of New York over the weekend. The New York Islanders were attempting to use public funds raised by Nassau County to build a new arena. Team Owner Charlie Wang, along with some local politicians were asking residents to raise their taxes in order to help raise the $400 million needed to build the new arena. 43% of people polled said “Yes” to which Sid responded, “I don’t know what those people who said “Yes” are smoking.” According to Sid, this was the dumbest story he’s read in a long time. Over the last 4 seasons the Islanders have been practically last. “They’re terrible. John Tavares is not that good; he’s not a draw.”, cried Sid. I have to agree with Seixeiro on this one. It’s hard to believe that a team with one of the worst attendance averages in the league over the last four years, are now asking for money from the fans. Put some product on the ice first Mr. Wang and then ask them for money.
Andrea Cuccaro and ASKMEN.com
If remember from last week, the boys got into a discussion about a survey poll from ASKMEN.com. The survey, originally came to light by Supervising Director at theScore Television Network, Andrea Cuccaro. Tim and Sid later went on the show and read out some of the answers produced by men. On today’s show, Sid, with some help from Bronsteter and Noon, discussed the results from the survey with answers now coming from women. To help the boys out, Andrea highlighted some of the better questions.
1. What is the most important personality trait that makes a guy relationship material?
Noon screams out “huge cock!” while Bronsteter thinks it’s a “sense of humour”.
Answer: 23% of women said a sense of humour and 36% believe it’s a sense of loyalty and a sense of caring
2. Is it important for a boyfriend to have husband potential?
Bronsteter believes the answer by women will be an overwhelming YES, but the breakdown is as follows:
Answer: 47% Somewhat and 36% said Yes
The answer seems somewhat wishy washy and Noon calls it like he sees it, “Holy shit! Women answering vaguely. Call the press.”
3. Would you dump your boyfriend if he got fat?
Bronsteter thinks the answer will be no and our boy is right.
Answer: 79% said No
According to Sid though, “And 79% lied. Just don’t lie about it. If your boyfriend grew bigger tits than you, it would be an issue.”
4. Are you comfortable with your boyfriend be-friending an ex-girlfriend on Facebook?
Answer: 43% of women said they were comfortable
“Facebook’s not good. Facebook starts fights.”, believes Sid.
5. Have you ever lied about the number of sex partners you’ve had?
Bronsteter thought the answer would be Yes
Answer: 68% said No
All the boys at once, “The ladies are just lying!”
On today’s Rapid Fire, Bronsteter brought some interesting questions from the world of women’s tennis, the NFL, and MLB.
1. Maria Sharapova is currently the highest paid female athlete. Is she also the hottest? Sid believes that she is, followed closely by Hope Solo. I agree with Sid completely but to say that Solo is “a smoke show”?
2. New York Jets Rex Ryan’s thoughts on Randy Moss’ retirement, “It will be easier sleeping at night knowing he’s no longer gonna be in the league.” Who is now the hardest receiver to cover in the league right now? This is a tough question to answer but I feel like Ochocinco is going to have a rebound year. Put him with Belichick and Brady; I like it.
3. Tony LaRussa teed off on a reporter yesterday. What is your favourite all-time manager/coach meltdown? I have to agree with Sid and Bronsteter on this one. The incident with Hal McRae goes down as the best meltdown out there.
Another great show by the guys today and if you think the world of sports is quiet right now, you’re dead wrong because Tim and Sid: Uncut has been jam-packed with stuff over the last couple of days. Great intro. this afternoon with Tim – it definitely brought some humour and I appreciated the fact that Micallef called in to explain his “Pujols” situation. The A-Rod news was interesting, Pizzo’s Updates again brought some random stories to the plate, and Sansone’s twitter was discussed once again – he’s becoming a star. I also appreciated the fact that Sid took time to read out some twitter messages today. Maybe it’s the way the show is set up, but Tim usually handles listener’s tweets and Sid did a great job filling in. I’m also glad Sid called out Charles Wang and threw him some #realtalk. Great Rapid Fire by Bronsteter but I’m not sure that Hope Solo makes the “hot list”. For having beer goggles on at work, 9.5/10.